Dec 29, 2004 - 7:15 pm
Hello everyone!!!! I want to thank everyone for there kind words and support!!!! Sponge Bob I want to thank you for the beautiful poem I was so touch by it that we had it read at Bob's service yesterday. I went to sleep that night with the poem in my head and then another line came to me which I added:
With wind in your hair,a car and a beer.
I don't know if it made any sence but it so sounded like Bob!!!
It has been a rough few days and today was so quite that I thought I was going to go mad. I kept busy this morning but as night fell I found myself sitting here dreading the evening. I thought that I would come on line and drop you guys a line or two. I am holding on but am very lonely. I feel like I am in this big hole and can't find my way out. I am just going through the motions. I have a lot to do getting Bob's business closed by the end of the year and it is getting harder and harder to deal with things. I am so worried aobut doing something wrong as my mind isn't there. You know how the goverment is if you make a mistake they hang you high for years trying to get it straightened out.
The phone was even quiet today. I forgot how quiet it was here in the country. I used to love it but now I can't stand it. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I don't have anything left to get myself out of this big hole I am in. Bob was always there to help me out but now I am alone and acared to death. I hate to admit that but I am!!! I can't bring myself to go into the room where Bob passed. I just come in the door and almost close my eyes to get through the room to get into the rest of the house. I know that I must sound crazy I don't know what to do to get through this. I miss him so much!!! I am afraid to go to bed at night. I don't dream when I do sleep and that scares me as I need to dream about him. I need to see his face and hear his voice. I'm sorry I am going off the deep end right now and am trying to catch myself.
I'm sorry!!! You guys have so much to worry about yourselves and you don't need me upsetting you. I am sorry that I haven't been able to read the post as they are right now to painful. It bring everything back ten fold. All I can do is pray for all of you and that one day they will find a cure for this so no one has to go through what I am going through right now because of this monster!!!
Again, Thank You ALL for all of you kind words and support!!!!
My prayers to ALL of you!!!!