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impotence

Billybumps
Posts: 18
Joined: Aug 2003

I am 44 years old and had a radical prostatectomy 6/4/03. Now, 14 months later, I still cannot achieve an erection on my own. I do, however, get an erection when I use caverject injections. It is not the same though, and the erection I get from this medication is painful. Do you think I still have hope in recovering the ability to obtain an erection on my own? My doctor seems to think that if it hasn't happened by now, then it probably won't happen. I hope he is wrong. I realize that I should be grateful that I am currently cancer free. All of my PSA's since the surgery have come back undetectable. I just get so depressed, as selfish as that may sound. I am still a young man and this horrible disease has made me feel so empty. I used to be able to look into my wife's eyes and get aroused. I can't do that anymore although I love her so very much. I feel as though I have let her down. Again, I am sorry for whining when I should be thankful, but I just can't help how I feel. Thanks so much for listening

mroberts
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi Billy, Your message really touched me. I was 49 when I had the surgery. Based on everything I read and what the doctor told me, I really thought I would recover erectile function too. I am now almost 3 years post op and I am still totally miserable. Its like I am not really a man anymore. For the last year I could not sleep through the night and I lost about 10% of my weight just out of depression. Maybe I can offer you some encouragement though. Caverject still hurts but much less than before. Somehow the needle hurts a little more but the Caverject hurts less and less. I started seeing a psychologist a couple of months ago to help me deal with the depression, and I think it is helping. I am so ashamed of my impotence, I could not talk to anyone else other than my wife, and I hate to burdon her. Also I joined a men's cancer ministry at my church. We help each other a lot, though I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about my drug dependent sexlife. Nevertheless, like you I haven't given up believing I will recover. I will pray for you. If you are a believer, here is a verse that helps me when I get morose, Phil.4:4-9.

Mark58
Posts: 29
Joined: Jun 2004

I am sorry to hear about your impotence. Specially since I had my surgery only 5 months ago. I am 58 and was told by my surgeon that if I wasn't having any erectile problems before surgery I shouldn't have any problems after. I haven't had any erections yet and am also starting to be very pessimistic about ever having another natural erection. I have the same emotional struggle, in that I feel I should be thankful that I am cancer free so far. My wife says not to worry, we will adjust to the new artificial erections. I am truely thankful and fortunate to have her, but the depression over the loss of our love life, as I had become accustomed to after 35 years, continues to grow. I have been seeing a therapist but he's not much help. I had no luck with the pills and the vacuum pump is also unsatisfactory. I am now starting to try the caverject. It was painful the first time but I'm going to continue with it. I am sure that my reply is not giving you the kind of information you were expecting or needing. This is a truely a mean disease and as many others have previously stated, none of the treatment options are "user friendly". I just wanted to write and let you know that you are not alone. There are too many of us out here trying to deal with this problem. There are several web sites like this one where we can share our experiences and vent our feelings. I might suggest that you continue to communicate openly with your wife and with us. It helps! Good luck and God Bless!!

2ndBase's picture
2ndBase
Posts: 220
Joined: Mar 2004

I would be blessed to have the lack of sex with no cancer detectable and you should be too! Some of us are beyond a cure and younger than most. I won't bore you with the details as its not your problem, but I would give anything to be alive when my son graduates from high school. It could happen!

mroberts
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2004

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from what sounds like stage 4 cancer. I can see why you would scold us about our concern for sex when we could be dying. I don't think I am alone in saying that I am indeed thankful that God has spared me at least for the present. If you were to speak with a thousand men who suddenly lost their ability to have sex with their wives, I think they would almost all agree that it was a terrible loss. All I can say is that we are among such men. It doesn't really help much that we also had (have) cancer. I for one cannot talk about this to my friends, family or even my doctor. But here I can let my hair down a bit, as perhaps you have vented your anger a bit too. We all keep a stiff upper lip with our wives and families. You sound a little bitter, but we accept you and do not ask you to hide your fears or your hopes here. My heart go out to you in your suffering that I have not experienced.

bicdawg
Posts: 10
Joined: Feb 2004

Hi Billy D,
I'm 52 and I had my RP 03/17/04. I have had some movement but nothing to bragg about. I inject myself for ED. I also take Red Gin Seng exstract and I have notice some frimness. It's only been 5 months and I have noticed some improvement considering they could only save 50% of my nerves. Check it out on line and don't give in. I would give it 2 or more years before I had something done. (Korean Red Gin Seng Exstract) It's expensive about $150 for a 320g bottle. I take a gram per day. They recommend 3 grams per day. Your young, so your odds of success are better than mine.

Florida3
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2004

I am truly grateful to be alive. I had PC at 38 and I'm now 40 and cancer free. Still working at my sex life, please be patient, it's too early at 5 months or even a year to expect to get it back. I always try to remember, it took 38 years to get the way it was-45 minutes for the Doctor to change it all-and it ain't going to heal overnight. Currently use Cialis. But have recently had sex without using anything. It's not anything to write home about, but it's a start.

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