Cancer Survivors Network

Hi Billy, Your message really touched me. I was 49 when I had the surgery. Based on everything I read and what the doctor told me, I really thought I would recover erectile function too. I am now almost 3 years post op and I am still totally miserable. Its like I am not really a man anymore. For the last year I could not sleep through the night and I lost about 10% of my weight just out of depression. Maybe I can offer you some encouragement though. Caverject still hurts but much less than before. Somehow the needle hurts a little more but the Caverject hurts less and less. I started seeing a psychologist a couple of months ago to help me deal with the depression, and I think it is helping. I am so ashamed of my impotence, I could not talk to anyone else other than my wife, and I hate to burdon her. Also I joined a men's cancer ministry at my church. We help each other a lot, though I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about my drug dependent sexlife. Nevertheless, like you I haven't given up believing I will recover. I will pray for you. If you are a believer, here is a verse that helps me when I get morose, Phil.4:4-9.

I am sorry to hear about your impotence. Specially since I had my surgery only 5 months ago. I am 58 and was told by my surgeon that if I wasn't having any erectile problems before surgery I shouldn't have any problems after. I haven't had any erections yet and am also starting to be very pessimistic about ever having another natural erection. I have the same emotional struggle, in that I feel I should be thankful that I am cancer free so far. My wife says not to worry, we will adjust to the new artificial erections. I am truely thankful and fortunate to have her, but the depression over the loss of our love life, as I had become accustomed to after 35 years, continues to grow. I have been seeing a therapist but he's not much help. I had no luck with the pills and the vacuum pump is also unsatisfactory. I am now starting to try the caverject. It was painful the first time but I'm going to continue with it. I am sure that my reply is not giving you the kind of information you were expecting or needing. This is a truely a mean disease and as many others have previously stated, none of the treatment options are "user friendly". I just wanted to write and let you know that you are not alone. There are too many of us out here trying to deal with this problem. There are several web sites like this one where we can share our experiences and vent our feelings. I might suggest that you continue to communicate openly with your wife and with us. It helps! Good luck and God Bless!!

I would be blessed to have the lack of sex with no cancer detectable and you should be too! Some of us are beyond a cure and younger than most. I won't bore you with the details as its not your problem, but I would give anything to be alive when my son graduates from high school. It could happen!