Cancer Survivors Network

My mom passed away a month and two days ago. She was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in Dec. 2002, and fought a good battle up until the end. My family and I were lucky to be with her at home when she took her last breath. It's so weird though because I know she's gone, but it's like I'm waiting for her to come back or something. I don't feel like I'm taking my mother's death as hard as everyone else is. I miss my mom so much I try not to think about her too much. I wouldn't be able to go to school or take care of my son if I did. I just wanted to know if it was normal to feel this way. My mom and I were very close before she was diagnosed, but after surgery and chemo, she wasn't the same. I felt like I had already lost part of my mom when she was sick. She loved to cook for our family, and when she was sick, she would sit and watch the Food Network for hours asking me "Doesn't that look good?" She hadn't been able to eat for almost 2 years. I don't know, it's hard to watch a person you love so deeply die a slow and painful death. My dad and I took care of my mom everyday and every night right up until the end. I just don't know why it's taking me so long to break down because I know eventually it will happen. My dad already went through it.