May 14, 2004 - 8:19 am
My May counts were up some more and the Doc says we didn't beat this but now we'll manage it. He is really hesitant to start me on any chemo because of all the nerve damage that has been done from the previous chemo. I have a CT scan on Monday to see if the cancer shows up on the scan yet. Cancer cells have to be over 2cm to show up on a scan.
I said if you wait until they show up on the scan the chemo can't kill them, as they have to be less than 1cm to be killed. That is when he said we would manage the cancer and then I knew what he was saying .... NO Cure!
I cried and know I will cry some more but will learn to live with the disease or in spite of this disease. After I think about it I have already lived with it for several years... so what's a few more!
Nothing profound to share, I feel very tired and wore out tonight. But tomorrow will bring a new day and the sun will shine and the life will continue.
Thanks much for your prayers and support.
Love & Prayers Bonnie Rose
Psalm 139 9-10 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast...