At The Concert

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Dav1965
Dav1965 Member Posts: 132
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I had stage 4 tongue cancer with secondary in my neck lmphnodes. They removed 7/8 of my tongue and replaced it with my thigh.

My wife and another couple went to a concert to see my wifes favorite band REO Speedwagon. My wife does not do well navigating from the seats to the concession stand plus she wanted to see this band. So i go and get her beer for her.

I get up to the window and tell them what i want and the man says i can not sell you anything because you are drunk. Now there are 30+ vendors out herre and i could have just went to another one but i got really mad becausse i do not drink and because i talk funny hethought i was drunk.

I explained that i had cancer and this is how i speak now. He said he did not care. I showed him the scares from ear to ear and he did not care. When i got hold of the owner he fixed things. 

That was the maddest i have been in a long time.

Comments

  • stevenpepe
    stevenpepe Member Posts: 234
    #2
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    Sorry to hear how ignorant

    Sorry to hear how ignorant people can be. With a rebuilt tongue, do you have mobility with it? Can you eat by mouth?

    I had a stage 1 tumor removed in April. So, I didn't lose nearly as much. I did not need reconstruction but my tongue turns to the left, resulting in an obvious impediment. My biggest fear is recurrence and losing even more of it.

  • Barbaraek
    Barbaraek Member Posts: 626
    edited August 2016 #3
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    Dav1965

    I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but glad you got a hold of the owner. Your beers should have been on the house after that fiasco. It reminds us all not to judge too quickly. We have one or two kids in our parish who are on the autism spectrum and their parents put up with a lot from other adults who don't understand. Here's hoping we all move to a more compassionate, understanding society.

    Barbara

  • Kari2007
    Kari2007 Member Posts: 108
    #4
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    I'm sorry

    Im sorry you had to deal with that jerk. People can be judgmental and rude. After going through everything you've been through, it's extra insulting. 

    Just recently, I posted a response to an article in favor of the HPV vaccine. I explained that I had HPV related cancer and if I could have prevented the hell I've gone through with a vaccine, I would and that my child would definitely be getting the vaccine. This woman responded by basically saying if I wasn't so promiscuous and had practiced safe sex, I wouldn't have HPV or cancer. Except she said it in much more vulgar words. I know she'd probably never say something like that to my face, and she's a stranger, but it was so hurtful and just mean.

    Kari

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #5
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    Voice

    I can remember when my husband, who had lost his voicebox due to cancer, went to the store the first time and he was talking to me with his electric larynx.  Adults  would stop and stare used to make me mad.  But now kids would come up to us and ask why he talked like he did and I would try to explain to them that he had lost his voice and couldn't speak anymore, that I didn't mind at all.  The children were more interested in hearing him talk, then staring at him like the adults.  He used to get upset and I would tell him to forget it that those adults weren't worth it.

    One of my favorite stories was after one of our younger grandchildren were here to visit, she went back to school and told her teacher that her grandpa was teaching her a new language and the teacher asked her what language, Spanish, French, and she couldn't tell the teacher.  Well her mother is a teacher and had to explain to the other teacher, what her daughter was talking about.  We still get a laugh out of that one.  What I wouldn't give to hear his voice again or to see him.

    Wishing you peace and comfort

     

     

  • Barbaraek
    Barbaraek Member Posts: 626
    #6
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    Ladylacy said:

    Voice

    I can remember when my husband, who had lost his voicebox due to cancer, went to the store the first time and he was talking to me with his electric larynx.  Adults  would stop and stare used to make me mad.  But now kids would come up to us and ask why he talked like he did and I would try to explain to them that he had lost his voice and couldn't speak anymore, that I didn't mind at all.  The children were more interested in hearing him talk, then staring at him like the adults.  He used to get upset and I would tell him to forget it that those adults weren't worth it.

    One of my favorite stories was after one of our younger grandchildren were here to visit, she went back to school and told her teacher that her grandpa was teaching her a new language and the teacher asked her what language, Spanish, French, and she couldn't tell the teacher.  Well her mother is a teacher and had to explain to the other teacher, what her daughter was talking about.  We still get a laugh out of that one.  What I wouldn't give to hear his voice again or to see him.

    Wishing you peace and comfort

     

     

    Sending you a hug Ladylacy

    And back at you with peace and comfort. I know my mom used to complain about my dad's horrendous snoring, but she'd give anything to have him snoring besdie her again. You are doing your husband a great honor by staying active on the site here and guiding others through this tough journey.

    barbara

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