Coping with sever mood swings

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Shelaelae
Shelaelae Member Posts: 1
in Caregivers #1

Hello.  My mom was diagnosed in December of last year with breast cancer.  She's already went through the tough chemo and radiation, and is now halfway through preventative chemo.  About a month and a half ago, as part of a long term treatment, her doctor put her on an estrogen pill.  She has always had a temper, but it has increased tenfold.  It's just her and me, since my dad passed away 12 years ago, and our family lives states away. 

Around anyone else, she's her normal self, no one can tell a difference, but with me, no matter what I do, she gets extremely angry to the point that she just starts screaming at the top of her lungs.  The smallest things I do will set her off, and she doesn't see what she's doing.  To her, causing me to have mental breakdowns is perfectly fine because everything is my fault, and she's all high and mighty (she also doesn't let anything go).

Some examples include:

I worked an 8 hour shift, which ended 2 hours before her 8 hour shift.  She called, and I sounded tired.  I was helping her vaccum out the car, and I brought the vaccum out of the house too soon.

I've already talked to the doctor's nurse, and we decided to wait for 3 weeks until she sees the doctor again to talk about what can be done (we could have talked to him but I was terrified to go home with her after it), but I feel like she didn't listen and that he probably won't do anything.  I'm willing to wait the 3 weeks, but I don't know how to deal with this in the meantime.  I'm already walking on eggshells, but even that isn't enough.  I get that she's been though a lot and still have more to go, but she's tearing me apart piece by piece and doesn't see anything wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore, and I feel silly writing this because I feel like I should be able to handle this but I just can't.

 

 

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  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #2
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    Mood Swings

    Why did the doctor put your mother on estrogen?  I hope you research the side effects to it.  At one time they said that women shouldn't take it too long because of blood clots and cancer.   My sister had triple negative breast cancer but she never took estrogen and she is a 12 year survivor. 

    I was caregiver to my husband for 5 years and I can honestly say during the whole time he didn't have mood swings.  Yes he got depressed but that was natural given his circumstances.  He didn't take it out on me.  He passed away in July 2015 after a good fight.  You should tell her doctor and maybe he can give her something for the mood swings.  Everytime they put my husband on a new medication I researched it and there was one they gave him for depression that caused major jerking motions and when I read that I stopped the medication and the jerking stopped.  Just remember everyone reacts differently to treatment and medication.

    But you shouldn't have to take what your mother does and you should tell her so.  Stand up for yourself and take care of yourself because you are important too.  Record her and then play it back for her to hear and even to others who don't know. 

    Wishing you peace and comfort

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