Mothers day and birthday all in one week.

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mbeaulieu
mbeaulieu Member Posts: 16
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Hi everyone,

I have not posted in a while, but I have had a tough week and need to vent.  I do pop in every once and a while and read other posts.

My mom passed away in November 2014, at the age of 58.

This week was not only mothers day but also her birthday is tomorrow.  She would have been 59.

Mothers day was very very hard.  I tried to get away for the weekend, but on the drive home I just could not hold it in anymore.  It was the hardest day by far.  Tomorrow is her birthday and I am terrified.  I was very angry on Sunday, seeing posts of people with their moms, I was just mad!  I did not want to be mad, I just was.  I was so jealous and envious of all of these people who still have their moms.

How do you handle special holidays?  I want to celebrate her birthday, but I just dont know how.  I just miss her so much and when I think about tomorrow I just dont know how I will deal with it.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Love, Michelle (a daughter who misses her mom SO much)

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  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #2
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    Hi Michelle, I'm sorry about

    Hi Michelle, I'm sorry about your mom.  I lost mine in September.  She was 68, would have been 69 on thanksgiving.  Many days have been difficult for me, but Mother's Day was the hardest.  It was the longest, saddest day that seemed to drag on and on. I felt such a relief at bedtime!   

    it's a huge loss.  I'm not sure there is anything to make the firsts easier.  Do you have a sibling or your dad to share the day with? 

  • mbeaulieu
    mbeaulieu Member Posts: 16
    #3
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    jen2012 said:

    Hi Michelle, I'm sorry about

    Hi Michelle, I'm sorry about your mom.  I lost mine in September.  She was 68, would have been 69 on thanksgiving.  Many days have been difficult for me, but Mother's Day was the hardest.  It was the longest, saddest day that seemed to drag on and on. I felt such a relief at bedtime!   

    it's a huge loss.  I'm not sure there is anything to make the firsts easier.  Do you have a sibling or your dad to share the day with? 

    Hey Jen,
    Thanks for replying!

    Hey Jen,

    Thanks for replying!  I felt the same way on Mothers day.  Bedtime was the best feeling ever.  I am really sorry to hear about your mom also :(  It just is not fair is it?

    Yes I do have a brother and my dad, so I was thinking I would go to my dad's house where they both live and bring a cake or something or just have dinner together, we are all very close.  I guess it is still just scary, I think I will feel the same thing I felt on mothers day but I am not sure as this is the first birthday.

    I would usually plan so much for my mom, she loved doing things, travelling etc... so we would always do something fun which makes this even harder.

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
    #4
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    mbeaulieu said:

    Hey Jen,
    Thanks for replying!

    Hey Jen,

    Thanks for replying!  I felt the same way on Mothers day.  Bedtime was the best feeling ever.  I am really sorry to hear about your mom also :(  It just is not fair is it?

    Yes I do have a brother and my dad, so I was thinking I would go to my dad's house where they both live and bring a cake or something or just have dinner together, we are all very close.  I guess it is still just scary, I think I will feel the same thing I felt on mothers day but I am not sure as this is the first birthday.

    I would usually plan so much for my mom, she loved doing things, travelling etc... so we would always do something fun which makes this even harder.

    I have no suggestions, I'm

    I have no suggestions, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that my mom passed from pancreatic cancer in 1997 and Mother's Day, her birthday in October and the anniversary of her death are still so hard to get through. We were like best friends. My dad had passed two years before and now I think of myself as an orphan. I hope you find some peace and comfort somehow. We grieve for them forever but it does get easier to deal with on a daily basis. Mom wanted us to play The Rose at her funeral, which we did. I still can't listen to it without crying and will leave somewhere if it's played.

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Hugs to you.

    Jan

  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #5
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    Do for another lady

    If there is an older lady in your religious affiliation or neighborhood or senior care center that might not have loved ones to care, take her a plant or some ballons or something and let her know that it is in honor of your mother.

    You would be surprised at how many mom's are out there that don't have anyone to celebrate for them.

    Marie who loves kitties

  • Easyflip
    Easyflip Member Posts: 588 Member
    #6
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    Hey Michelle,

    I know it's hard. When my father passed away I got a tattoo in his memory, he actually helped me design it when he was still alive. I also have my artwork on his tombstone. I think about him all the time but the memory is as comforting as it is sad. He had a great life and I know he died proud of us kids. I'm sure your mom feels the same way about you. It does get better with time, the more you keep her memory alive the more she'll still be here with us. It hurts but it will hurt less, promise.

     

    Easyflip/Richard

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,796 Member
    #7
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    Celebrate in your own way

    I celebrate my mum on her birthday by cooking one of her favourite dinners and desserts. I have a picture of her set on the table. We eat, talk about her and then raise a glass. 

    Good mothers should never die, but alas, they do, and our lives go on. I'm sure your mum will want you to celebrate her life, but we do have to have our time of mourning. 

    I do remember though, when I went back home to bury my mum; when I saw a woman about her age, I would think 'why are you still alive and not my mum?' It was a cruel thought, but the thought just came. Its ok to feel mad, sad and angry, just don't let it take over your life. 

    I am so sorry that your mum has passed. Cyber hugs!

    Sue - Trubrit

  • mbeaulieu
    mbeaulieu Member Posts: 16
    #8
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    Trubrit said:

    Celebrate in your own way

    I celebrate my mum on her birthday by cooking one of her favourite dinners and desserts. I have a picture of her set on the table. We eat, talk about her and then raise a glass. 

    Good mothers should never die, but alas, they do, and our lives go on. I'm sure your mum will want you to celebrate her life, but we do have to have our time of mourning. 

    I do remember though, when I went back home to bury my mum; when I saw a woman about her age, I would think 'why are you still alive and not my mum?' It was a cruel thought, but the thought just came. Its ok to feel mad, sad and angry, just don't let it take over your life. 

    I am so sorry that your mum has passed. Cyber hugs!

    Sue - Trubrit

    Thank you all so much for

    Thank you all so much for your kind words and ideas!  I have a tattoo in mind just trying to finalize the design.  I love the idea of bringing something to someone else in her memory.

    I am slowly but surely getting through the day.  It is sunny here in Ontario today so that helps, I know she is shining down.

    Michelle

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