Cancer Vent

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JanJan63
JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member

I'm getting really cranky about some things lately. I sincerely hope this doesn't offend anyone, these are just my views and I'm frustrated and can't tell people I know because they're too close to the situation. It will feel good to get some things out of my system. Here goes in no particular order.

The focus on breast cancer. Pink, pink everywhere. It's not the most common or the deadliest cancer. Why is there such a focus on it? Because it's breasts and ours is butts? Whatever, I'm tired of the brest cancer thing.

People on facebook who hold functions or sell things to help their friends that are battling cancer. Sure, I'm bitter because nobody's offered to do that for me. But the fact is that the average person here in Canada just goes on medical leave. Yes, their pay will be a bit lower but they also don;t have to pay for gas to get to work every day or buying lunches out or clothes for work. We have almost everything covered medically. So why do they ned extra money? My situation is that I owned my own business and had to sell it and got hardly anything for it so I don't qualify for medical leave pay. I don't have a dime coming in. Is anybody doing charity things for me? No. I also don;t have anyone that cam go with me to chemo but I have to see other people posting pictures of them with a group of friends hanging out with someone getting chemo. I guess this is because I'm a private person and don't reach out for help from others.

People who keep telling me I should be doing a raw diet or juicing or some other natural way of 'helping' me deal with cancer. Apologies to anyone on here that is a follower of those remedies but I'm not one of them. How I eat did not give me this cancer and how I eat will not necessarily make it go away. I've never smoked, never did drugs, I eat decently buit not as well as I could, I'm active and I don't abuse my body. One nurse said it's the most common cancer for people who are vegans and very physically active. I have a friend that's been a vegan for over 30 years but she not only has had breast cancer last year, now they're checking her for another cancer. Why do babies get it or small children? Or dogs? Or horses? They're vegan and don't live in homes with smokers or carcinogens. To me it's almost like saying that I must have eaten badly to have gotten it. So I find it insulting. Because of my IBS I never ate processed foods, ice cream, donuts, rarely chocolate, and very rarely fast food. One guy is telling me how he ate nothing but very healthy foods after he had a tumour in his throat and now he's fine. As if he might not be fine otherwise. Hey, I could eat a chocolate every day while I'm in treatment and then tell people how chocolate saved my life. Or a donut, or anything bad for us. Or because I jumped on one leg three times and then did a twirl every day. I could also eat crap and have the cancer come back and then everyone would think that was why, but maybe it would have happened no matter what. There's nothing definitive. It's the one thing we know for sure, that we know nothing for sure.

The belief that sugar and the lack of consuming it, will help. Cancer thrives on sugar, more so than regular cells. Okay, so how can that help us? Sugar is everywhere. It's used as a filler in some things. Our medication probably has some in it. I posted on facebook that I've been drinking a lot of Tang and some people just about had a bird because of the sugar. I know it has sugar. I know there's a place in Mexico that's based on complete removal of sugar from the diet and cleansing the blood. And I know of two people who tried that and both are gone. One died at the facility his first time there and the other spent a fortune going several times and passed away anyway. We need a certain amount to live. Not drinking Tang will not improve my outcome. I appreciate my friends and acquaintances that are trying to help but they have no idea of what I'm going through and I wish they'd just stop. I've done research until I think I'll go insane but I can't find anything that's for sure other than staying positive. For people who have watched a Dr Oz show or knew someone who knew someone who had cancer and think they shoul tell me what to do is really annoying. The best advice I've had is from this forum. And when I'm dehydrated and don't want to eat or drink if I'll drink a glass of Tang so what? Is that going to be the end for me? I'd love to have a juicer but we can't afford one.

Sorry about all of this. I really unloaded. I'm tired of the armchir critics and so-called experts. I'm tired of being made to feel like I did this to myself and my behaviours now can help but if I'm not doing what people think I should I'm killing myself. It's dismissive and judgemental and I don't need it. This is hard enough already without the finger pointing. I didn't bring this on myself and I don't deserve it. None of us do.

  

 

Comments

  • thxmiker
    thxmiker Member Posts: 1,278 Member
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    We all have similar feelings.

    We all have similar feelings.  It is good to get it out there.  I have told friends go take a walk and kick a tree. Get your frustrtions out so you have the energy to put in to fighting cancer.

     

    Getting disability in the USA as a previous business owner is nearly imposible here also.  They acted like I am faking stage IV cancer.  Believe me I would rather be working.  

     

    Keep up the good fight!

     

    Best Always,  mike 

     

     

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    thxmiker said:

    We all have similar feelings.

    We all have similar feelings.  It is good to get it out there.  I have told friends go take a walk and kick a tree. Get your frustrtions out so you have the energy to put in to fighting cancer.

     

    Getting disability in the USA as a previous business owner is nearly imposible here also.  They acted like I am faking stage IV cancer.  Believe me I would rather be working.  

     

    Keep up the good fight!

     

    Best Always,  mike 

     

     

    Thanks for not thinking I'm a

    Thanks for not thinking I'm a horrible person Mike. The insurance company that holds my car loan insurance isn't paying for my car, either. Of course, they've already been fully paid out for the full term of the policy so they have two gtand in their pockets and I have a car that I can't even sell because I owe two grand more on it than I paid for it. They said it was a pre-existing condition (duh) and it was within six months of me buying the car. Luckily I have a wonderful friend who is making the payments until I'm able to work again.

    During this journey I have found that people can be shockingly horrible and others can be wonderfully kind. And often the ones that are either are not whom you'd expect.

    Jan

  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    JanJan63 said:

    Thanks for not thinking I'm a

    Thanks for not thinking I'm a horrible person Mike. The insurance company that holds my car loan insurance isn't paying for my car, either. Of course, they've already been fully paid out for the full term of the policy so they have two gtand in their pockets and I have a car that I can't even sell because I owe two grand more on it than I paid for it. They said it was a pre-existing condition (duh) and it was within six months of me buying the car. Luckily I have a wonderful friend who is making the payments until I'm able to work again.

    During this journey I have found that people can be shockingly horrible and others can be wonderfully kind. And often the ones that are either are not whom you'd expect.

    Jan

    That is the weirdest Thing. I

    That is the weirdest Thing. I wanted to copy and paste my comments over but it took your whole thread and pasted it in mine 

     

     

    lets see if this works. 

     

    Yes, pink, sucks but they had Susan Komen)

     Sorry but those fund raisers only give the researchers money to entertain and go to Cancer Conferences  

    (I don't think its bad to fund raise, if people want to give, let them, my opinion   I pay a lot for health insurance, as much as my house payment. It sucks that you didn't get the benefits others get,  my husband is also self emploved, he just had surgery but if he had the cancer, I'd have to get free medical myself, gpod luck with that here in Cali.)  

     

    (it's just not the kind of food and remember being vegan doesn't mean anything unless it's organic  all the nutrients have been taken out of our food and veggies    I've always been slim, I did aerobics, lifted weights, ate mostly veggies and here I am    It's just not diet, it's stress, it's attitude, it's excercise, it's supplements, it's sunshine and it's the one thing that your immune system is fighting for, the cause, the reason we have cancer, and what cancer foundations should be looking for, if they find it, they just might find the cure)  our immune system isn't working, it's not killing the cancer cells, why? )

     

    (When you need sugar because all else is failing you, as in food, we have to do what we have to do, and eat what we can, but yes sugar feeds cancer, under the Gerson diet you stay away from processed sugar and get it naturally from fruit or carrots ).   I know about the advice, and I take some and toss others, they do try  to help me) 

     

    (you don't derserve it, and it's good to let out steam, unfortunately there are no clear answers   I'm one of the ones doing the Gerson therapy in Mexico, I hope its the right thing for me, if not, I'm going to have a great time doing it )

     

    Take care and I hope you get great results and get better

  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
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    Please Vent Away

    You have perfect right to vent away.  I'm tired of the pink everything and when someone asked me to give I'll say no I'll give to CC research in March because no one acknowledges that.  They kind of perk up and say wow I didn't know that and I'm telling them about it. As far as raw and juicing I'm not into that either and all three of my doctors told me it wasn't anything that was eaten or that I'd did myself to get this.  People can go on about raw diets, juicing, vegan, no sugar, no stress, no etc but I'm thinking you are giving up life if you give up everything.  Consume a little and it won't hurt.  We have steak 2-4 times a month.  Pork 4-8 times a month, lots of chicken.  Fish and seafood often and eat salads everyday.  And yes I have icecream about 4-6 times a month also but only a bit as I'm not a big ice cream person.  I've not changed my diet so don't feel bad about what you do.  Everyone has a solution for themselve and they should all be allowed to have that.  We are all different and we should accept that, but I'm not changing, I'm modifying.  Can't eat much rice now as it constipates me and with steak also that's why only two times a month.  But if you think that steak or red meat caused colorectal cancer than all those ranchers in Texas and Oklahoma and all other cattle states all would have cancer because they all live on a ranch and eat meat daily and statictics show they don't.  Just my input and my rant LOL.  Sorry to hijack your rank on yours.  You are in my prayers.

    Kim

  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
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    Please Vent Away

    You have perfect right to vent away.  I'm tired of the pink everything and when someone asked me to give I'll say no I'll give to CC research in March because no one acknowledges that.  They kind of perk up and say wow I didn't know that and I'm telling them about it. As far as raw and juicing I'm not into that either and all three of my doctors told me it wasn't anything that was eaten or that I'd did myself to get this.  People can go on about raw diets, juicing, vegan, no sugar, no stress, no etc but I'm thinking you are giving up life if you give up everything.  Consume a little and it won't hurt.  We have steak 2-4 times a month.  Pork 4-8 times a month, lots of chicken.  Fish and seafood often and eat salads everyday.  And yes I have icecream about 4-6 times a month also but only a bit as I'm not a big ice cream person.  I've not changed my diet so don't feel bad about what you do.  Everyone has a solution for themselve and they should all be allowed to have that.  We are all different and we should accept that, but I'm not changing, I'm modifying.  Can't eat much rice now as it constipates me and with steak also that's why only two times a month.  But if you think that steak or red meat caused colorectal cancer than all those ranchers in Texas and Oklahoma and all other cattle states all would have cancer because they all live on a ranch and eat meat daily and statictics show they don't.  Just my input and my rant LOL.  Sorry to hijack your rank on yours.  You are in my prayers.

    Kim

     I am the other believer and

     I am the other believer and since food has never motivated me, or my husband,  one way or another, eating healthy for two years, if I make it that long, isn't a hard decision for me.  Being a zombie is killing me!  I'm not living now, yes, I'm in Tauoe, but on the couch,  and they are out having fun  :) 

     

    Now, I do miss my wine, but I'm allergic to it anyway, probably should never have had it  

     

    Everyone does have to find their own way...  We are all different and chemo affects us all different.  I'm so happy that chemo is helping Winter, she is my hero. You go girl. 

     

     

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    Nana b said:

     I am the other believer and

     I am the other believer and since food has never motivated me, or my husband,  one way or another, eating healthy for two years, if I make it that long, isn't a hard decision for me.  Being a zombie is killing me!  I'm not living now, yes, I'm in Tauoe, but on the couch,  and they are out having fun  :) 

     

    Now, I do miss my wine, but I'm allergic to it anyway, probably should never have had it  

     

    Everyone does have to find their own way...  We are all different and chemo affects us all different.  I'm so happy that chemo is helping Winter, she is my hero. You go girl. 

     

     

    I guess what really annoys me

    I guess what really annoys me the most about people telling me to eat healthy to get rid of the cancer is that 1) they're assuming that I don't because I said I was drinking Tang. They have no idea what I'm going through and are not in a position to judge. 2) Saying that I need to eat healthy to get better sounds like they think I have cancer because I ate badly so it's putting the blame on me. We'd all like to make sense of this but there is none. And 3) if they tell me to eat healthy and don't think I am then if or when this come back they can point their fingers at me and say it's because of how I ate.

    I will not accept the blame for this. I've never been a vegan or a vegetarian but I didn't eat that badly. We have meat a couple of times a week, I rarely ate processed foods or fast food, my IBS limited what bad food I could eat whether I liked it or not. The IBS does make a person 65% more likely to get it so maybe that's why.

    I realize they think they're helping but it feels like they're pointing their fingers. Or trying to make sense of something that just doesn't.

    Here's another thing that really bugs me. I have a now former friend that finished treatment for breast cancer over four years ago. She's the cancer warrior and has a sparkly pink banner on her facebook and tells anyone she meets about how she's a cancer survivor. She's just looking for attention and gets it. Total strangers she's just met will go on and on about how brave and wonderful she is. It's her identity. She doesn't see how much of a victim she is because she can't let it go. I will not go around telling people I fought it unless it's a necessary part of the conversation. This will NOT define me. I don't even want to hear the word. Even now I say things like 'while I'm sick' or 'after this is over' or 'once I'm better' because I feel like naming it gives it some power emotionally. Anyway, she's so sanctimonious about it I just want to slap her. I saw a TEdTalk where the woman was talking about this exact thing and said that someone that was doing it should 'get off her cross' and spoke of how at first it brings people closer to you but eventually it pushes them away. I'm no longer friends with this woman because she pretends to be someone she's not (I'm such a positive person since my cancer battle!) and because it's embarassing when she goes on and on to people about what a heroine she is. I can see how uncomfortable they are and how they wish she'd stop. 

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
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    I am glad you feel

    I am glad you feel comfortable enough to vent here. This is the place to do it where people will truly get what you are saying. The whole nutrition and sugar thing is a tough subject. I have tried vegan diet, ketogenic diet in tha past. I still do supplements and eat a good amount of veggies (As much as my system can tolorate) but I don't know if that nutrition is any more effective than the brutal treatments that we subject our bodies to. I decided to go heavy on the protien since my last recurrence and bulk up. I am about 20 pounds heavier than I have been in 25 years but many die of lack of nutrition and wither away to nothing. So I am bulking up, doing the opposite.

    I think a balanced diet is important and exercise. Exercise, mountain biking in particular has been the one constant for me through all of this Hell.

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
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    I Agree

    Rant on Jan...As another posted, there are others who feel the same frustration.  I feel that we are all grabbing at whatever tewg there as to stop our fall.  If it gives one hope then I say go for it, but, keep in mind one person's pleasure is another's poison.

    Rant on....

  • LindaK.
    LindaK. Member Posts: 506 Member
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    JanJan63 said:

    I guess what really annoys me

    I guess what really annoys me the most about people telling me to eat healthy to get rid of the cancer is that 1) they're assuming that I don't because I said I was drinking Tang. They have no idea what I'm going through and are not in a position to judge. 2) Saying that I need to eat healthy to get better sounds like they think I have cancer because I ate badly so it's putting the blame on me. We'd all like to make sense of this but there is none. And 3) if they tell me to eat healthy and don't think I am then if or when this come back they can point their fingers at me and say it's because of how I ate.

    I will not accept the blame for this. I've never been a vegan or a vegetarian but I didn't eat that badly. We have meat a couple of times a week, I rarely ate processed foods or fast food, my IBS limited what bad food I could eat whether I liked it or not. The IBS does make a person 65% more likely to get it so maybe that's why.

    I realize they think they're helping but it feels like they're pointing their fingers. Or trying to make sense of something that just doesn't.

    Here's another thing that really bugs me. I have a now former friend that finished treatment for breast cancer over four years ago. She's the cancer warrior and has a sparkly pink banner on her facebook and tells anyone she meets about how she's a cancer survivor. She's just looking for attention and gets it. Total strangers she's just met will go on and on about how brave and wonderful she is. It's her identity. She doesn't see how much of a victim she is because she can't let it go. I will not go around telling people I fought it unless it's a necessary part of the conversation. This will NOT define me. I don't even want to hear the word. Even now I say things like 'while I'm sick' or 'after this is over' or 'once I'm better' because I feel like naming it gives it some power emotionally. Anyway, she's so sanctimonious about it I just want to slap her. I saw a TEdTalk where the woman was talking about this exact thing and said that someone that was doing it should 'get off her cross' and spoke of how at first it brings people closer to you but eventually it pushes them away. I'm no longer friends with this woman because she pretends to be someone she's not (I'm such a positive person since my cancer battle!) and because it's embarassing when she goes on and on to people about what a heroine she is. I can see how uncomfortable they are and how they wish she'd stop. 

    The C word

    I did not let that nasty word play one part in my husband's calling hours, service or dinner afterwards.  We had 6 large picture boards and I would not let anything related to C be included.  It did not define him.  Some people were upset I did not call them in the last months of his life.  I was barely taking care of myself and my husband.  Lots of people said they wanted to see him in hospice, I said he did not want that nor did I.  They don't get it.  My husband was full of life, the life of every party and so much fun to have and be around.  I wanted no one to remember him how he was near and in the end. 

    I also have a dear friend who is a breast cancer survivor send me a video on eating vegan.  I watched some of it and knew my husband would not be interested.  I asked him if he wanted to see it and he said "No f-ing way".  Funny thing when he went on home and ultimately inpatient hospice they told him he could eat whatever and whenever he wanted.  He also stopped all blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes meds.  They said "If you want chocolate cake for breakfast, have it"  Happily for him (and my memories) the last food he ate was strawberry ice cream, one of his favorite foods.

    With my husband's initial diagnosis of Stage II in December 2012 and his decision to do the 12 rounds of Folfox, we were so happy to be told his cure rate would be around 90%.  Him being the realist he was said at the time "Well, someone has to be in the other 10%" and sadly he was one of the 10%.

    Linda

  • JanJan63
    JanJan63 Member Posts: 2,478 Member
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    I Agree

    Rant on Jan...As another posted, there are others who feel the same frustration.  I feel that we are all grabbing at whatever tewg there as to stop our fall.  If it gives one hope then I say go for it, but, keep in mind one person's pleasure is another's poison.

    Rant on....

    Linda, I don't know what to

    Linda, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry for what you two went through and to ultimately have lost him. They say I'm just above 50% for a successful non recurrence. I'm not delighted with the odds at all.

    To everyone, thank you. I was very wary of posting the rant as the last thing I want to do is sound like a jerk or offend anyone. Thank you all for your support. I am so sick of cancer right now. I wish there was a way to take a weekend off or something like that, even a day. I had my fourth chemo today and the cold sensitivity is unbelievable. I live In Canada. It's cold. When I'm getting the prickles from indoor items like the fridge door or the toilet flush handle or walking on our living room carpet that's just ridiculous. I'm getting it in my throat from just swallowing my own spit. I want so badly to live, even if it's another ten years or so, but the chemo is so freaking miserable.

    I saw somewhere, maybe on here, that the degree of your side ffects from chemo can show how well it's working for you. I can't remember if it was better to have less or more. 

    I have something to add to my complaint about people who are trying to push the 'eat healthy' rhetoric on me. There are so many people out there that eat like crap but don't have cancer. How do they explain that?

    Thank you everybody!! <3<3<3

    Jan