Widowhood

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twiceblessed
twiceblessed Member Posts: 13
in Caregivers #1

I haven't been on as much as I had hoped.  Between doctors visits, side effects, working, kiddos, etc I just never seemed to have the time.  Well now I have the time....On Nov 10, 2014 at 8:13 am I lost my husband to Papillary Renal Cell Carcinoma.  He had just celebrated his 38th birthday on October 26th.  My only consolation is that in his last few months, last few seconds I was with him holding on to him--kissing him---loving him.  I don't know where I go from here.  I just know I go it alone without really being alone.  

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  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #2
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    So sorry

    So sorry to hear of your loss.  We never really get over the loss of a loved one, we just pick up and keep going.  I still miss my mother and it has been 10 years.  My husband is on in-home hospice and is daily loosing ground and it is very hard but I also know that once he is gone, it will be even harder.  Just remember, he will always be with you in your heart and mind.

    Wishing you the best -- Sharon

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #3
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    Sorry

    i am so sorry. There are no words that will help you through this terrible time. I do hope knowing that we are here and that some of us have been through a similar loss helps a little. These first few days and weeks can be somewhat of a blur. Just put one foot in front of the other and allow yourself to grieve in your own time and way. Take care of yourself now. My thoughts are with you. Fay

  • Ouch_Ouch_Ouch
    Ouch_Ouch_Ouch Member Posts: 508 Member
    #4
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    Oh, my....

    Your pain must be enormous as well as your children's. You will never forget your husband or they, their father, and will always miss him, but given enough time, the sharpness of the arrow will blunt. However, it will take as long as it takes. Don't stop grieving on some else's schedule, be they a mother, friend, or boss.

    Meanwhile, your children need age-appropriate outlets for their grief, too. Maybe they can write him letters or draw him pictures and tuck them into his coffin, if that's the route you take, or "mail" them in the local river, or by burning them in a bonfire and watching the smoke rise. Maybe they can sing him songs while you watch the stars overhead.

    Get every single photo of his smiling self out and put them everywhere - they will help diffuse the memory of his sickness and ensure that the kids don't forget what he looked like.

    Hug and be hugged by the kids as often as possible. They are your most tangible and glorious link to him.

    And cry, always reserve the right for yourself of crying.

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