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"Oh Lord Now She has Cancer"

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

I'm 41 and I've been sick a good part of my life. My family is sick of me being sick so I can't be while around them. I've had 12 surgeries now (only 2 related to cancer) and am an 8 year renal cell carcinoma survivor with recurrence. I'm all out of supporters and it's been this way for a very long time. I have my 6mos check up after recurrence this week.  Today I have my bone scan, tomorrow is the full body ct scan, then Thursday I have a barium swallow. I have my Lord God with me but it would be nice to have someone to "hold my hand"....  signed,  scared and alone

aamdsi
Posts: 165
Joined: Apr 2014

I am sorry for all that has been your life.  Sounds like nothing has been easy. 8-(

But here, at least , you are not alone.  I can't be there physicslly, but I am there holding your hand, or giving you a shoulder, or maybe even a happy hug.

Let us know how everthing goes.  Sending prayers and good karma

Laurie

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

Thank you Laurie, I really appreciate it! I'm in desperate need of a friend and someone to talk to. ..and I will definitely let you know how it goes!  :)

Phredswife's picture
Phredswife
Posts: 78
Joined: Apr 2014

Hi Imsure. You are no longer alone! Welcome to a bunch of lovely people who will make you laugh, occasionally cry, keep you company and wish u well.Smile Good luck with your scans this week. I will be thinking of you and praying for you.  Hugs Melissa 

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

That's so very sweet Melissa, I'm so glad I posted. .. thank you for the prayers and making me feel welcomed! 

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 1921
Joined: Oct 2011

You've come to the right place for support and understanding. It is amazing how many forum members are healthy productive people despite lengthy medical histories. My wife complains that she should have invested in tupperware years ago. She says I have had more parts of me removed than I have left. (hence the tupperware. she could have collected all my pieces and stored them.) So what if I am not half the man I used to be? It started with an elbow bone tumor at 12. I was an asthmatic. Had every childhood disease. Half dozen knee surgeries. Spinal surgery, gall bladder, carpal tunnel(s), nephrectomy, biopsies, and enough renal mets to play both sides of the ball in a football game. And somehow I look and am strong and fit. So don't concentrate on your medical problems. Look them in the eye, laugh at them and move on. There is too much golf to play and motorcycles to ride. Believe in yourself that you can and will recover from anything that may happen to you. Life is good!

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 180
Joined: Mar 2014

I'm so sorry you don't have the family support you deserve. Is it possible that you just think they're sick of hearing it and they're really worried for you deep down? But in any case, the people here are wonderful, not only as invaluable source of information and knowledge but also in compassion and support. I'm sorry your cancer recurred. It must have been such a let down for you. Wishing you the very best results with your scans!

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

Oh APny, I know they love me and care about me.. they are just sick and tired of me being sick and tired. .. and sick and tired of hearing about it! So I no longer have my family to turn to to talk to about my worries, my pains, my fears, new symptoms, or just if I'm having a bad day. .. if I say the wrong thing I get rolling eyes.... But I understand it and that's why I'm glad this site is here where there are people like me who understand and need to talk and vent without people rolling their eyes or thinking your out make everyone feel sorry for you. .. maybe I just need a hug or an "it's gonna be okay baby, I'm right here". Ya know?     Thanks for yyour support, I will definitely let you know how my scans go. ..

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

I'm very inspired right now! You sound awesome! Sounds like we have a lot in common! Haha except I live in a lot of pain and don't get out as much as I'd like and it sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive wife! I wish I had friends around here, especially one with a motorcycle! That would be so nice to get on a bike and just ride the day away without thinking... just feeling the breeze and smelling the air... man it's been so long... thanks for the great response!

MattyMar
Posts: 7
Joined: Aug 2014

I am new and only joined 30 minutes ago and your post already has me feeling better. Thank You!

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

Welcome! :)  have you talked to anyone here yet? If you need help posting your own thread just say so and I can help! I had trouble too! 

aamdsi
Posts: 165
Joined: Apr 2014

You holding up?

Who is the cutie on the slide? 8-)

imsure32's picture
imsure32
Posts: 11
Joined: Aug 2014

The tests are done.  Idk what happened to me but I couldn't wake up most of the day on the 5th and the 6th.. I kept having these narcoleptic type episodes. I went and had my bone scan on the 4th but went to bed with this horrible pain in my neck (besides the normal pain from the osteoarthritis that's already there) and 2 big areas of bulging on the back right side of it. So after my bone scan I went to urgent care and the Dr gave me a muscle relaxant. Well I took one when I got home and one when I went to bed.  Then I pass out cold and can't seem to wake up all day on the 5th. I didn't take anymore of the medication but I still couldn't stay awake. Then I got up to go to my barium swallow yesterday and it was the same thing, I had to yell in the car the whole drive over so I wouldn't wreck. But they decide to do the ct scan and barium swallow on the same day cause ct had to be first so I drink the contrast and have to wait an hour. Well I have to fill out this paperwork and it took me the whole hr because I kept nodding off. .. then I fell asleep during the scan... the barium swallow was impossible to fall asleep during.  But the drive home was nearly impossible too! And I passed out when I got home till about 8am but then I passed out , (when I went to pee)on the toilet until 10am! I slept on the toilet! For 2hrs! Oh yeah... and I also fell down on the cement yesterday too, got skinned up and bruised pretty badly but nothing broken so that's good! But I've been awake for a record breaking 5hrs now so I think the spell is broken, whatever it was. Have you ever heard of such craziness? Oh something else happened too, since I was so out of it last night I forgot to take my pills at my regular time and took them when I woke up, at some point, to use the bathroom and forgot to take the metformin out of my pill case. And if you've had enough ct scans then you're aware that you can't take metformin after a ct scan, especially with one kidney! So no, it didn't go smoothly. So hopefully that means the test results will be normal!  Lol!   And that cutie pie over there is my granddaughter MJ or Mary. She is my heart. My kids are my breathe.... I don't know how I'd live without them. .. thank you so much for checking back on me! No one else has... I was gonna wait till I had results. .. but I'm really glad you did :) .... made my day brighter  Donita

aamdsi
Posts: 165
Joined: Apr 2014

That things didn't get better at all!  How horrid for you!

But admire the strength you have shown to get through all of this. I have lucked out (so to speak) since I found out had RCC totally by accident and after surgery have basically made it back to pre-surgery form.

I pray, knock on wood, send you good karma - whatever it takes that you are NOW on the road to getting "all" better and that the bad is all behind you!

Aren't grandchildren marvelous? 8-)  I can't imagine anything more wonderful...but then ask me about it when she turns into a moody teenager! 8-)

 

Laurie

freddyv33
Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 2014

Being a cancer survivor for over 2 years now, and having had a heart attack just over a year ago, plus a number of other problems such as pulmonary embolisms, extreme leg cramps, gout and more...I can say that it sounds like you are dwelling on your illness and wearing down your family. You say they love you so why are they tired of hearing about the problems? You really need to ask YOURSELF that and look inside you. 

You can listen to those here who don't have to deal with you daily or listen to those who love you and who are tired of you...I suggest you stop talking about your ilnesses to those who are healthy and trying to support you. Get some other interestes and limit your complaining. Some people get cancer and are dead a week later, you and I are still alive. Look around you and be thankful for the extra days you have to revel in this glorious life. That is my suggestion, and yes, I am in the same situation as you: I have a terminal illness and I thank God for giving me this time rather than striking me down with a speeding vehicle. 

Ultimately it's your choice, not your family's.

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