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jim and i
jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Well today is the two month mark. I would like to say things are getting easier but it seems like often they are worse. It is funny how friends and family almost sufficate you with care the first few weeks, then almost forget you. Life moves on for them but seems to stand still for me. I am not criticizing them, I did the same thing myself.

Something I am learning is that our pets grieve a long time. Our dog, Tebow. still looks for Jim in the bedroom every morning. He sleeps more and is not as lively as before. He seems so sad most of the time.

I have signed a contract on a condo. I know that they tell you not to make big decisions for one year but I cannot keep up the yard and the maintenance here. Besides I do not have happy memories here. Jim declined the entire year and a half we lived  in this place. The only good memory I have in this place is the fish he brought home from his morning trips. The condo I bought is very similar to the condo Jim owned when we were first married. A lot of good memories.

I still read post a couple times a week and offer help when I can. It is very hard to read of fallen warriors, especially those who comforted and supported me during my times of sorrow.

Please know that I would not have and still can't survive without the support and prayers of all my CSN friends. You all hold a special place in my heart.

Praying for NED and happiness for all of you.

Debbie

 

Comments

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #2
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    Debbie

    Delighted to hear from you. I know how much you must miss Jim. My sister, who lost her husband suddenly when he was 46, recently mentioned how everyone was there for her and her 2 young sons but recalls how she felt the first day the mail came and there wasn't a card of encouragement in there for her. You are not alone and when you feel the need for family and friends you may need to reach out and let them know.

    May God bless you in your new home with new adventures and happy memories.

    Hugs,

    Candi 

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #3
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    dear debbie, you are such an

    dear debbie, you are such an important part of our CSN family and we will always be here for you.  congrats on the new condo.  i pray you will be able to be happy there.  we all love reading your posts and you're always so positive and encourageing.  you still do a lot for the folks here.  you will always hold a special place in our hearts also.

    God bless you,

    dj

  • wmc
    wmc Member Posts: 1,804
    #4
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    We need you too........

    Remember we need you as well. Your suport has helped myself and others as well. Yes you are correct that this is like family here at the H&N. This is where I come to help if I can as well as get suport when needed as well. It is so nice to hear someone is NED, it just brings a smile to me. But it is so sad to hear someone lost the battle. 

    Be well and keep up the help you give us all. Thank you.

    Bill

  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
    #5
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    Do what is right for you

    If it's time to move, it's time to move. Once my treatment got in the way of my job, I knew it was time to stop. I retired and went on SSD. Too young to take any of my retirement. My wife ended up getting a huge once in a lifetime career opportunity in Austin Tx. So I bit the bullet short term, liquidated some of my 401K knowing i would get bent over by the IRS, but this move will put my wife in the best position going forward. Money is tight as I went from a 6 figure income to $2,489.00 a month on SSD.

    In short, the general rule is no major life decisions in yr 1, but we did. My wife left the only job she had since nursing school, 28 yrs, we sold the house we raised our kids in and left to start over.

    It will all work out for you.

    Best

    Mike

  • Sara1234
    Sara1234 Member Posts: 121
    #6
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    luv4lacrosse said:

    Do what is right for you

    If it's time to move, it's time to move. Once my treatment got in the way of my job, I knew it was time to stop. I retired and went on SSD. Too young to take any of my retirement. My wife ended up getting a huge once in a lifetime career opportunity in Austin Tx. So I bit the bullet short term, liquidated some of my 401K knowing i would get bent over by the IRS, but this move will put my wife in the best position going forward. Money is tight as I went from a 6 figure income to $2,489.00 a month on SSD.

    In short, the general rule is no major life decisions in yr 1, but we did. My wife left the only job she had since nursing school, 28 yrs, we sold the house we raised our kids in and left to start over.

    It will all work out for you.

    Best

    Mike

    Thanku

    Sounds Like you are doing a little better.....Hang in there and when you are feeling down pop in  here .................We can cheer you up.....

  • Grandmax4
    Grandmax4 Member Posts: 723
    #7
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    It's awesome

    hearing from you, moving sounds exciting, especially, since you won't have to worry about keeping chores up...I hope you'll keep moving forward, there's many, many friends out there, just waiting for you to find them, when you're ready~~`church, the Y, volunteering are excellent ways to make new friends....load up Tebow and take him for a playtime at a dog park, you never know who you'll meet there...we're always here for you, I don't post much anymore, but, I'll never forget my CSN family, and know I check up on ya'll from time to time

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #8
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    Thanks everyone for the

    Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I think the kids are finally coming around. They were worried I was moving to fast. Just say a prayer my manufactured home sells before I have to make another lot payment. Hoping to take a trip in August, get away from this Florida heat. Maybe I can meet up with some CSN friend on my way for coffee.

    Debbie

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #9
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    Always

    You and Jim will be, and are always in my heart, thoughts and memories....

    I think you are making a good decision.

    Hopefully, one of these days, Shelley and I will make it your way, and possibly we can have lunch or coffee.

    Best always,

    John

  • Crazymom
    Crazymom Member Posts: 339 Member
    #10
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    life goes on

    thank you so much for your post...it has made me feel so good through the years.....Just take it a day at a time..   we all grieve differently, but at some point our lives go on and the pain is not so constant and difficult.  You will be in my prayers tonight!  Ann

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