Bad day in the grief department

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jim and i
jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member

Yesterday was one month since Jim has been gone and I am really depressed today. The depression came on slowly since Friday evening when I heard that the condo my son and I were planning on buying had a contract on it. Then a festival I worked hard to produce quilts to sell at was a bust, I made a whole $8 which didn't even cover the gas to get there. Now I want to isolate myself from everyone and be alone. Please pray I have strength to carry on with my life in a productive way.

Debbie

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  • Guzzle
    Guzzle Member Posts: 710
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    Prayers

    Debbie, thinking of you, G.

  • Sara1234
    Sara1234 Member Posts: 121
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    Hang in there

    I am pretty sure Jim would not want you feeling that way some days will be harder then others it will get better with time stop being so hard on yourself maybe I can buy one of those quilts we are looking for a new one pm me if u want to chatt

  • cancerx6
    cancerx6 Member Posts: 25
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    Debbie,
    I am so sorry for

    Debbie,

    I am so sorry for your loss.  I wish I had read this before I responded to your post about my tongue cancer.  

    My prayers are with you.  I hope you overcome your depression soon and things take a positive turn for you.  I know it is difficult, but try to think of the wonderful memories you have of your husband and let his spirit embrace you.  Please keep reaching out for strength on this site.  I know you will find it.

    Theresa

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
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    dear debbie, you are bound to

    dear debbie, you are bound to have those days, unfortunately.  i'm sorry the festival was a bust.  maybe you should try selling them online.  that may even take up some of your time.  i hope the depression doesn't hang around to long and that you start to feel a little better very soon.  you are going thru a lot so don't be too hard on yourself.  i'm glad you share your feelings with us.  we will always be here to listen and hopefully, comfort you.  think of the days you and Jim spent fishing and the good times you had and will have again when you reunite in Heaven.  i hope your memories will provide you with some smiles and comfort.  you're in my prayers, Deb.

    dj

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
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    dear debbie, you are bound to

    dear debbie, you are bound to have those days, unfortunately.  i'm sorry the festival was a bust.  maybe you should try selling them online.  that may even take up some of your time.  i hope the depression doesn't hang around to long and that you start to feel a little better very soon.  you are going thru a lot so don't be too hard on yourself.  i'm glad you share your feelings with us.  we will always be here to listen and hopefully, comfort you.  think of the days you and Jim spent fishing and the good times you had and will have again when you reunite in Heaven.  i hope your memories will provide you with some smiles and comfort.  you're in my prayers, Deb.

    dj

    Debbie

    When I wake up in the morning and my mind starts to wander, I immediately say to myself that this is a day the Lord gave me and I should get up and rejoice in it. If I lay there and start to think of things it gets depressing but, if I get up quickly, I find I can by-pass some of that depression. Worth a try. 

    Prayers that God gives you the strength to get through this difficult time.

    Hugs..........

  • sin9775
    sin9775 Member Posts: 199 Member
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    Bad Days Happen

    Oh Deb, I'm so sorry you are having a bad day.  Grief-filled days are going to happen for you, I'm afraid.  Yes, when we lose a loved one, we know they are in a better place, but we are not, are we?  I do pray that you find the strength to deal with your down days knowing that you are wrapped in the comforting arms of your loving (heavenly) father.  You are never alone.

    Also:  1:  The home that you SHOULD have, is out there waiting for you to find.

             2:  On a positive note, when the next event comes along that you want to sell your quilts, you will be way ahead of the game!! 

     

    ~Shawn~

  • Sara1234
    Sara1234 Member Posts: 121
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    sorry thought I already posted

    Hang in there ....sorry that you are feeling soo down hope u feel better soon....I am looking for a new quilt Would be happy to buy one off you pm me

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
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    Thanks for the prayers and

    Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I am feeling a little better tonight. I will try to get myself moving first thing in the morning. Part of the problem is I can't get to sleep at night so I am tired all day. I guess I will have to fill the script for ambien. I was trying to avoid it since it is so expensive and I have no insurance but I need to sleep so I guess I will call in the am and pick it up tomorrow.

    Debbie 

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,771 Member
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    Grief counseling

    Hi Debbie,

    My good neighbor two door down lost his wife two weeks ago. It was a very sudden illness and totally unexpected. He mentioned friends suggested he go for grief counseling and then after a few session he could attend a larger group of survivors. It may offer good support for you and also keep you from becoming isolated and withdrawn. Don

     

  • Goyca
    Goyca Member Posts: 220
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    thinking of you

    Dear Debbie, im holding you in my prayers.

     

    Goyca.

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
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    Goyca said:

    thinking of you

    Dear Debbie, im holding you in my prayers.

     

    Goyca.

    Debbie

    So sorry you are having a "down" day. You know I understand. Sleep is almost non-existent for me, still. Let's see, I've tried 2 anxiety meds, sleeping pills, melatonin, & valerian root. Next I'm going for a ball peen hammer. It may work, but would probably hurt a lot.

    I'm so sorry about your condo. I know how much you were counting on it, but perhaps a better deal is coming up.

    A day of sadness & numbness for me as I made my final "clearing out" trip to my little cabin. Numbness because I can't believe this is happening after having the place for 44 years. Change of any kind is so hard, but we will get through this. I know that's a cliche, but we must believe.

    I notice that you joined my "grief" group. There are many times I don't join in, but I usually check posts frequently. Remember we are there for you, as well as here.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

  • TraceyEllyn
    TraceyEllyn Member Posts: 18
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    Hope

    I was out of town so didn't see your post till now. Down days happen, I would encourage you not to stay there. You are loved and cared aboutLaughing

    Just because someone has a contract on the condo doesn't mean it will go through. And if it does I believe the good Lord has a better one for you. I'm sorry you didn't sell any quilts, but you will. Have you thought of selling them via Ebay? That way you would only travel to the Post Office. You include the postage in the cost of each quilt. Just a thought.

    Today is a new day. May the joy of the Lord be your strength.

    Tracey

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
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    Hi Debbie

    I know you are hurting and feeling alone but remember you are never alone Jesus is there with you through all your pain and suffering. His Holy Spirit will give you the peace of mind and body to continue in this world with Him by your side until He calls you home to be with Jim. Focus your life on things you love to do and on things that help others people, keep your prayers daily to Jesus for others who are hurting. God knows who you are He knows the number of the hairs in your head, find your peace in Him and you will find what you need to survive one day at a time.

    We love you Debbie

    Tim Hondo   

  • Jan Trinks
    Jan Trinks Member Posts: 477
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    Prayers Always

    Debbie:

     

    So sorry about such a down day.  But as others have posted some days will be better than others.  And so sorry about the festival.  I know what it's like to put so much time and effort into something and not have it turn out like it should.  Might be a good idea to try and sell them online.  Of course, there's ebay and etsy; don't know if it costs anything to put on line to sell.  And it's true just because a contract is on the condo doesn't mean it'll go thru and hey if it does goes thru it just means the good Lord has something better in store out there so keep looking!  As far as the sleep department I used to sleep like a rock before Charlie passed away and I don't sleep like that anymore.  However, I do tend to fall asleep easily in the recliner and then get up and go to bed!  I can just hear Charlie saying, "Jan, go to bed!"   And even though it's hard to do especially right now, staying busy (even just around the house) does help.  That is why I stay connected here and hopefully give back with what hopefully are comforting and helpful comments!  I love what Hondo posted.  He is just so good at being a comfort for us here.  Have a good day today.  God Bless and prayers always!

     

    Jan (Basketcase)

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
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    Prayers Always

    Debbie:

     

    So sorry about such a down day.  But as others have posted some days will be better than others.  And so sorry about the festival.  I know what it's like to put so much time and effort into something and not have it turn out like it should.  Might be a good idea to try and sell them online.  Of course, there's ebay and etsy; don't know if it costs anything to put on line to sell.  And it's true just because a contract is on the condo doesn't mean it'll go thru and hey if it does goes thru it just means the good Lord has something better in store out there so keep looking!  As far as the sleep department I used to sleep like a rock before Charlie passed away and I don't sleep like that anymore.  However, I do tend to fall asleep easily in the recliner and then get up and go to bed!  I can just hear Charlie saying, "Jan, go to bed!"   And even though it's hard to do especially right now, staying busy (even just around the house) does help.  That is why I stay connected here and hopefully give back with what hopefully are comforting and helpful comments!  I love what Hondo posted.  He is just so good at being a comfort for us here.  Have a good day today.  God Bless and prayers always!

     

    Jan (Basketcase)

    Debbie

    Have you tried an over the counter sleep aide like Advil PM or Tylenol PM? I use xanax to sleep, while a perscription, I don't think it is  terribly expensive.

  • HAWVET
    HAWVET Member Posts: 318
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    hwt said:

    Debbie

    Have you tried an over the counter sleep aide like Advil PM or Tylenol PM? I use xanax to sleep, while a perscription, I don't think it is  terribly expensive.

    I am at a loss of words, but

    I am at a loss of words, but I do understand the grief that comes due to the passing of a loved one.   I can only anticipate how I will react.  God Bless.

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
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    donfoo said:

    Grief counseling

    Hi Debbie,

    My good neighbor two door down lost his wife two weeks ago. It was a very sudden illness and totally unexpected. He mentioned friends suggested he go for grief counseling and then after a few session he could attend a larger group of survivors. It may offer good support for you and also keep you from becoming isolated and withdrawn. Don

     

    Don, our local Hospice offers

    Don, our local Hospice offers a free grief counselor which I have taken advantage of once and have an appointment Friday. I hope she can give me some ideas. The first visit I was still numb. Now I am really feeling the loss so she will get an earful. Thanks for the suggestion and your thoughts.

    Debbie

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
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    Hope

    I was out of town so didn't see your post till now. Down days happen, I would encourage you not to stay there. You are loved and cared aboutLaughing

    Just because someone has a contract on the condo doesn't mean it will go through. And if it does I believe the good Lord has a better one for you. I'm sorry you didn't sell any quilts, but you will. Have you thought of selling them via Ebay? That way you would only travel to the Post Office. You include the postage in the cost of each quilt. Just a thought.

    Today is a new day. May the joy of the Lord be your strength.

    Tracey

    Thanks Tracey for the

    Thanks Tracey for the suggestion. I do sell on Ebay and Etsy but haven't listed any since Jim died. I had planned to list what didn't sell this week. Gues I had better get busy. LOL

    I am feeling better today. I think I may have forgotten to take my antidepressant the day before which would account for the extreme withdrawal. Thnaks for the thoughts and Scripture they help.

    Debbie

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
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    Hondo said:

    Hi Debbie

    I know you are hurting and feeling alone but remember you are never alone Jesus is there with you through all your pain and suffering. His Holy Spirit will give you the peace of mind and body to continue in this world with Him by your side until He calls you home to be with Jim. Focus your life on things you love to do and on things that help others people, keep your prayers daily to Jesus for others who are hurting. God knows who you are He knows the number of the hairs in your head, find your peace in Him and you will find what you need to survive one day at a time.

    We love you Debbie

    Tim Hondo   

    Thanks for the prayers and

    Thanks for the prayers and encouragement Tim.