May 01, 2014 - 5:10 pm
Good Afternoon Caregiving Angels,
My mother has been fighting her stage 4 Colon cancer for two years and 4 months. A couple months back it spread to the bone. As of last week her Oncologist told me her CEA has gone up and is off the wall. He is going to try the last chemo treatment he has in a last ditch effort. I have noticed her health declining rapidly which is to be expected. My father and I have been taking care of her through this period and we always try to hope for the best outcome. I left my job in January and am trying to stay home for as long as I can. Dad is retired.
I think her body is just getting tired. Between the disease, weight loss, pain etc. I feel so bad for her. I feel worse for my Dad. This past February we went to get a family plot at the cemetary and it was very hard on him. He is very stoic but I can't imagine how he feels. I had to have the conversation with him that we should go this Saturday to the funeral home to get everything in order. We work as a team. He is great at certain things and relies on me to do others (i.e. making decisions about health, plots, and I assume the funeral). I just don't want to have a massive breakdown at the funeral parlor in front of him. I just want to go in there and try to view it as a business transaction, but I have a feeling I may crack. I also have ulcerative colitis (which is under control)and the stress is starting to get me down physically (ie worrying, not sleeping well, not eating well).
Any thoughts or words of wisdom would be welcomed regarding home hospice, funerals, etc. . I feel like I'm in an abyss between someone who is living but may go at anytime. I think my nerves are shot.