Apr 11, 2014 - 12:22 am
My husband has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He's had it nearly 3 years but has to get his chemo no matter what. They recently stretched out the interval to every 6 weeks and he had a reoccurance.He went back to every 3 weeks which seemed to do the trick. His general status has deteriated though. I am a nurse so I have knowledge an dI advocate for him. Being able to care for him has brought us closer.
His balance is terrible and he has fallen numerous times. He also has started wetting the bed in large amounts. For the 2nd time in a week I have had to wash all the bedding. It is a long, expensive undertaking. Today I bought some washable bed pads. But as a nurse, I have seen many people wet straight through those suckers! *sigh* So I am finding myself getting overwelmed and sometimes resentful. He is so weak and balance is so bad, he can't do a whole lot to help around here. It's especially hard because I have RA and Fibromyalgia, so often the pain overwhems me even more.
Also, his orginal occurence was in his left groin and the growth pressed up against the nerves leading to his testicle. Now it is just scar tissue and it presses against the nerve just the same. He has a low pain tolerance to begin with. All the pain meds barely touch it. So physical intimacy has become almost non existant. And I am so sad and frustrated, althought not angry because I know it's not his fault.
I feel guilty for feeling like I do sometimes. I'll be feeling all sorry for myself because of one thing or another that his cancer has led to, then feel guilty because I'm not the one with cancer! I don't really have anyone to talk to. I really just had to vent a little.