Mar 27, 2014 - 2:44 pm
I lost my step - father to complications of lung cancer treatment, it gave him leukemia and he died last May, 2013.
I had been angry for most of this time since but had just started to show signs of getting better during the last month or so. Then I found out a coworker was hospitalized with a mass on his lung, suspected to be cancer. My best friend's brother has a cancerous brain tumor and my boss' husband has just started radiation for a tumor. Every where I turn, there is more cancer!
I had been in a panic about getting cancer myself because I have lost all faith in the typical treatment of this disease and I have spent considerable amounts of time trying to figure out what I will do if it happens to me or someone else I am close to. I still don't have the answer.
I had never been close to anyone who had cancer before my step - father. Now it seems to be all around me. It is bringing back the pain I had started to feel lessening but even worse is that my immediate thought upon hearing of their cancer is that they WILL die, especially the coworker with lung cancer. I also think that if they don't die, it may make me angrier still because they found help that healed them and I was not able to do that for my step - father even though I tried.
I don't know what I am looking to find here. I have no faith in our health care system and I want answers as to why it is acceptable to fill people with poison as a means of a "cure". I don't want reassurances that it does help others. I guess I just need to vent my anger before I explode.