Feb 15, 2014 - 4:22 am
My wife was diagnosed with breat cancer about a year and a half ago. She was 28, almost 29 at the time, and we were trying to start our family. Since she was young the oncologist we were referred to wanted an agressive treatment and she started chemo one week later. When we first met with him to discuss the treatment plan, we were told that the chemo would effect her cycle, but everything would go back to normal. After her first chemo cycle, we found out from the oncologist that there was actually a 50/50 chance her fertility could be affected, but not once did the discussion ever move to perserving any of her eggs in case she couldn't have childern down the road. Also we were told it would she would need to be on the Tamoxifen 2-3 years before we could have the conversation about trying to have kids again. After chemo and radiation, that became 3-5 years, and recently the same oncologist just told her it would be 7-8 years!
My wife has wanted nothing more than to be a mother, and hearing all of this has made her depressed. Like me, she is to proud to seek advice or a support group, but one of us needs to reach out and ask for advice from those who have been where she is, so here I am. I'm honestly not sure what I can say or do anymore to try to cheer her up and make her feel better. To make matters worse, we were doing our taxes today, and found we have to pay some this year, which put her into tears because she now feels like we are being penalized for not having children. All I could to was tell her it is ok, and one way or another I will make sure she gets to be a mom.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you cope with it? It breaks my heart to see her like this, after the strength she showed and not letting having cancer change her life. Sometimes I feel like I'm somehow failing her by not being able to make everything better like it was before her diagnosis. Advice from any one is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.