CSN Login
Members Online: 20

cancer? no cancer? wait maybe cancer? no cancer? wait maybe cancer

Posts: 372
Joined: Aug 2006

After three bouts of cancer: rectal; colon; liver NED tests every two months.

Two months ago CT scan showed leison on my liver; Next day MRI showed same leison on my liver; three days later Ultra sound showed same leison on my liver. Six days later Biopsy ordered with Ultra Sound. CEA less than one. Opps six days later nothing there anymore on the ultra sound so no biospy. Now two months later CT scan leisen in the same spot. So another biopsy ordered. Again nothing on Ultra sound no biopsy again. CEA still less than one. So I go home expecting to be told again "you don't have cancer" no worries. Two days later my oncologist PA calls and says we're sorry there was nothing to biospy again but we are not giving up looking for cancer. We have schedule a Pet scan five days from now. I say why my CEA is less than one the ultra sound found nothing again. My CEA has always been a perect indicator for cancer while the CT scan was been wrong 60% of the time. So I'm thinking I don't have cancer happy times. Not so fast...they believe I have cancer and suddenly my CEA and the inability of ultra sound once again to find these cells doesn't matter because the CT scan says the cells are there. So I'm sweating out cancer again and I am looking forward to another no fun Pet scan. Seemed like all I do is go to doctor appointments. After ten years fighting cancer and the damage the "cures" have done have caused me to decide this will be the end of it. After this pet scan showing cancer or NED I'm done. No more tests; no more treatments; no more doctors; no more being relieved then scared then relieved then scared. My family has to endure all this BS. I'm so angry that I have had to do this every couple of months. But I don't have to... because ten almost eleven years is enough. I look at it as freeing up some doctors for those poor souls on Obamacare. Besides after working forty years many of which being destroyed by chemo; radiation and surgeries I expect to lose my employer provided health insurance. No insurance means financial ruin for my family who have been through so much with my cancers. I won't let that happen. You wouldn't either. Best of Health Lou 

devotion10's picture
Posts: 640
Joined: Jan 2010

a rough time with so many tests and ambiguous results BUT LOU YOU ARE ALIVE! 

What I wouldn't give for my husband who died from his cancer after five years to be able to have a CEA of 1 ... to be able to have his cancer diagnosis be a question mark ... to be able to be angry ... to have any emotion at all ... to be able to love his family and have his family love him.

The doctors and the treatments that you curse have likely kept you alive.  The cure sucks, but you are one of the lucky ones Lou because you are alive.

As for the Affordable Care Act ... seven members of my extended family have insurance for the first time as a result of the ACA. Five of those individuals could not qualify/afford insurance before because they had existing disease, three of them cancer. Remember, the law reads that the only reason one loses their employer provided health insurance is if it does not comply with the new regulations -- one of those new regulations protects people who have diseases like cancer or other existing conditions from being turned down for insurance.  If you are losing your insurance, blame it on you private insurer, not the ACA.

I am sorry that you are hurting and feel so bitter.  I cannot ever know what you have experienced, I have never even had cancer ... I have only cared for someone I deeply loved who had cancer.  It sounds like it has taken you to the brink ... but speaking as one who will forever be without my loving husband ... well, it just seems that you have been blessed to be alive. 

This is the place to vent, so vent away, that is your right and I respect that right deeply ... like I said I can only imagine your pain and frustration. I can never truly know how badly you feel.

I wish you the best and I mean you no disrespect. I hope you remain cancer-free and that you reach a point where you can disengage from having your life medicalized and haunted by this disease, but also ...

try to remember amidst all your frustrations how lucky you are to be alive ... many simply do not have that chance.

Peace. ~ Cynthia


Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2015 © Cancer Survivors Network