Jan 03, 2014 - 5:55 pm
Long story short, in 2011 I had a hysterectomy, everything taken out was cancer free but I had microscopic cells. This happened one year after my husband died. My CA was 33. Had seven treatments and my CA went down to 6. I was in remission for 1 year 2 months. CA was 77 so I started chemo 10-2-13. I had two treatments of Taxotere. The doctor switched me to Doxil. My CA went down to 44 after two treatments of Taxotere but now after two treatments of Doxil my CA is 88. Since taking Doxil my fingers feel like sausages and when I bend them they burn.
I was told that I had an aggressive cancer. What I still do not understand when I started chemo again the cells were once again microscopic and there were only two cells on the cat scan.
After hearing that my CA increased to 88 yesterday I was and still am petrified. I am 71 years young and I always wanted to live to 92. The doctor told me that I could continue chemo until I wanted to stop. At the start of the second round he did say that this was a recurring cancer and now it is aggressive. I still cannot believe this is happening. All I did today was live in a blown up anxiety. I was wondering why I was dizzy - guess what I didn’t eat. DUH.
I live on a farm and raise sheep. Friends of mine have their seven baby pigs in my pigpen. They pay for the feed and I do the feeding and fresh water. When they are grown my payment is a pig ready for the freezer. I do keep busy but all I can see now is not being able to do anything. Just sitting around ready to die.
I don’t mean to sound morbid but I am at the bottom of my barrel.
I had a wonderful attitude about this cancer journey vowing I would not let it kill me. Maybe I am just going through a bad time and will bounce back tomorrow.
Just a short ps I did start reading quite a few other sites and when I was telling my doctor about them he said I was only allowed to go on the American Cancer Society site so here I am. Also for fun I bought eyeball stickers and I put two of them on the back of my head and have had a ball wearing them. I truly do have eyes on the back of my head.
Bald is Beautiful!!!!
Thank you so much for listening.