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What are your thoughts on this article about unfair expectations of positivity?

alligatorpointer's picture
alligatorpointer
Posts: 131
Joined: Jul 2012

The following links are to an article about unfair expectations of positivity.  The first link is the article, the second link is the comments section where some interesting insight is posted.  The article addresses a topic that deserves consideration as patients deal with the aftermath of diagnosis and treatment. 

Link to article:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/25/depression_after_cancer_chemo_sucks_and_we_shouldn_t_expect_cancer_survivors.html

 

Link to comment section under article:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/25/depression_after_cancer_chemo_sucks_and_we_shouldn_t_expect_cancer_survivors.html#lf_comment=118445328

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 2436
Joined: Jan 2010

a very interesting read.  as a cancer suvivor I've been on both sides, the positive and the negative (depressed).  it isn't fair to just a survivor for the way they feel.  only they went thru "their own" hell and came out the other end as best they could.  yes, i'm a survivor but i still have hard days and when something strange pops up, i can't help it, cancer is always my first thought.  so, in  a sense, cancer still has a hold on me to some degree.  i pray for everyone to be able to be positive but if they aren't, i will understand and NOT judge.

God bless you,

dj

ratface's picture
ratface
Posts: 1248
Joined: Aug 2009

I can relate to almost every point made. A thought provoking piece with a valid perspective for cancer survivors. Surviving does not equate with everything being "hunky dory" and it does leave you foreever changed for better or worse and many times both. A board member from some years back  who I haven't seen post in a while captured the sentiment in a self authored short story about a fellow who visits a gravesite every evening pushing a wheel barrow. He is visiting the part of himself which cancer has stolen from him. I have never heard it expressed better. The experience gives and the experience taketh away. We must all find our own balance.

donfoo's picture
donfoo
Posts: 1239
Joined: Dec 2012

After reading the original article and hundreds of replies, the tie in with cancer seems more a case of innocent bystander. This girl has serious chronic depression and the cancer event just threw her on the mat once again. From the replies, it sparked the broader discussion over attitude in all facets of life. btw - those posters must get extra points for all the four letter words and the site must not edit them as there is some serious animosity and hostility over there.

Anyway, a good read and food for thought for all situations we face through life. Not sure why but it feels like they hijacked the pink shirted cancer folks for some reason. Could have been any other group of positive living folks. Don

 

oh - here is link to original post http://gawker.com/positivity-is-bullshit-when-you-have-cancer-1469975747#replies

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 2436
Joined: Jan 2010

i've tried a couple times to read the comments but can't.  i even signed in thru fb.  it only shows me 2 comment.  what is going wrong?!!

dj

donfoo's picture
donfoo
Posts: 1239
Joined: Dec 2012

Hi DJ,

The method for reviewing the posts is a bit odd on this site but look at the screenshot I attached. Scroll down to the end of the original article by going to this link

You should see the comments starting there. You can click on one to see a popup showing a group of messages or just keep scrolling and click on the messages. It is an odd way to read them but it does work. If you have another browser like Firefox or Chrome or Safari, try to access the link that way. Don

alligatorpointer's picture
alligatorpointer
Posts: 131
Joined: Jul 2012

DJ ... when you click on the Slate comments link, after the page stops loading with just the two comments, a "Back To Newest" button will appear just above the name "Ben" to the upper left of the first comment.  If you click on "Back to Newest", the rest of the comments will load. 

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/11/25/depression_after_cancer_chemo_sucks_and_we_shouldn_t_expect_cancer_survivors.html#lf_comment=118445328

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 2436
Joined: Jan 2010

that worked, ty.

dj

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