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Brody1958
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2013

I'm 55, female, diagnosed in 2001 with multiple myeloma.  I never married and come from a very dysfunctional and unloving family. Lately I've been wanting to stop seeing my oncologist and let nature take its course.  I am anemic Again.  Much pain.

when diagnosed my sister was very cruel.  2 months ago I had a very serious surgery on my bowel.  All my siblings verbally abused me in the hospital.  I am much younger than them.

that experience changed me.  I love Jesus.  I want to be with him and my pets, one of whom died 3 weeks ago from cancer.  I love animals and am left with 4 cats who love me.  

my therapist said there is a special place in hell waiting for them.

my mother has told them she is leaving me financially secure as they are all rich, and they are trying to undo my trust, put me in public housing.  I'm worn out and tired and having to get a lawyer.

 

i don't even know why I'm writing this.  I am also bipolar and have attempted suicide before.  Last time I was miraculously found unconscious by a stranger in a deserted place.  So I feel Jesus must've stepped in.  But I can't find a solution.

 

Im im very awkward socially and have no friends.  I'm not afraid of death, but my cats don't deserve to be abandoned.

 

i will be so happy in heaven with Jesus and my pets.  

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 339
Joined: Apr 2009

No Brody1958, don't write things that you wrote. They are very negative thoughts. Not good for you, and your health! Really!!! You have to show the world that you are strong! The only reason for living for us on this Earth is to be strong, and to fight, fight and always fight. Regardless of the circumstances, or how bad our life seem, or how alone we might be, we have to always fight. I am not religious by any means, so I cannot comment and advice you on Jesus and things like these but I also have no right to judge, or make a decision on this about you. All I am saying is that no matter what, you gotta keep going and fighting. You know who commit suicide? Those are so weak that they escape life's challenges. I believe that each challenge teaches us and shapes and forms us and if you look deep down in your heart, we all become better people by the challenges we face. Really! I'm sure it is isolating to be alone, and also be sick, but come on! Sounds to me you don't have a good relationship with your sisters, so in that sense be glad you don't have to live with them and rely on them! Please don't say these negative thoughts. They are not good. Please! And although I just left another note in the other post where you also posted, know that reading these from you, although disappointing, but I still hold true that I'd be happy to be your pen pal too....

dlrenn
Posts: 5
Joined: May 2014

Hi Brody1958,

I'm SO SORRY for all that you have been through! As I sit here writing this, my heart is aching for you. I was terribly sorry to hear how unsupportive and unloving your family has been during this trying time. I too love Jesus. If I could offer any advice at all, it would not be to "buck up", to "think more positively", or to "be stronger". As someone who has dealt with depression and negative thinking in the past, I realize that these kinds of phrases do not necessarily motivate someone who already feels so weary and worn. My advice to you as a fellow believer would be to seek out a church where the Bible is preached. I too feel awkward sometimes and it is an effort to form healthy relationships. But I have found a family in my church community. If you were in my church and somehow you made known what you said above, I (and others in my church) would invite you to dinner, spend time with you, find out how we could support you, pray for you, stand by you, bring you dinner, send you messages and encouragement. This is what we do for one another. You can find friends and a family in fellow believers. God made people because he wanted fellowship with us. He made Adam and said it was not good for him to be alone and then formed Eve so that they too could enjoy fellowship. Jesus sent his disciples out 2 by 2 so that they would be able to support one another. The Bible says that it is better for believers not to be alone so that when one falls, the other can help her up. It says that wherever 2 or more are gathered in Jesus' name, that He is in their midst. The reason it is not good for you to be alone is because you were made for fellowship, you have unique talents and gifts given to you by God to use in the Body of Christ, and Satan does his most effective work in people when they are isolated--divide and conquer.

I will pray for you today, Brody1958. And I truly hope that things will get better for you... :-)

BruceGLarson's picture
BruceGLarson
Posts: 21
Joined: Jun 2014

Are you still us? bruceglarson@hyahoo.com

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