Sep 17, 2013 - 9:05 am
haha...a spinoff on Laz's post about stress causing cancer. I'm finding it's the opposite. The stress since my husbands diagnosis has taken its toll - strangely enough he seems to handle things better than the rest of us. I'm not sure how or why or if he's just pushing it deep inside, but he says he's not wasting 1 day thinking about cancer or stressing about what may happen.
We've lived a fairly "charmed" life. We were raising our kids in the way I always wanted to. They have not been spoiled, but very loved. I don't think they've ever questioned coming first in our lives. We are the "poor" folks in a rich town - we sacrificed to move here for the good school system - knowing that our kids wouldn't have all of the stuff many of the other kids had, but they'd get a good education and hopefully learn that the stuff wasn't important. One of the things I HATE most about cancer is how it has changed us. I want to rewind, go back and have carefree kids again. I hate the fact that my 13 yr old son, who is dealing so well with his new diabetes diagnosis, can sense when I am getting stressed and picks up some slack to make my life easier. I don't want the kids worrying about us but it's so hard to not show it when life just gets overwhelming. The 16 year old is stressed - I thought she was doing better but she wants to go for counseling. Being a junior in HS and having a sick dad, and sick grandparents is taking its toll. I don't know why it hit me so hard, but I hate the thought of my kids in counseling. I just want them to worry about getting good grades, not about whether dad will be at graduation. I don't want them to have to talk to a stranger because the stress is too much.
I HATE cancer - I know others are able to find the positives in it, but I can't find any positive in cancer. To see so many losses and to have so many struggling right now just makes me angry that we don't have a cure for this.