Aug 31, 2013 - 11:23 am
I'm new to this site and just looking for some advice. My boyfriend was diagnosed with vocal cord cancer 3 months after we met. He went for 6 weeks of radiation and at his 2 month follow up after the radiation, the tumor looked exactly the same. Next was surgery, he had a partial laryngectomy in June, terrible recovery - trach, feeding tube, his voice was barely a whisper. Next follow up in July the surgeon said there still showed some irregular (not cancer...yet) cells in the area and he wanted to go back in and this time do a staged surgery, which means he will have an open hole in his neck for weeks..besided the hole already in his neck for the trach. This has been hard on the relationship, we can't talk on the phone, our only communication is through text, he's been distant with me and the last month or so i felt like he was pushing me away. he ended it with me a couple of weeks ago saying that he is not happy in the relationship, was very cold about it, just not himself. He doesn't respond to me anymore and i am just trying to figure out what to do. His next surgery is in 2 weeks and i feel like i want to go to be there to support him. I have been there for him this whole time, sleeping in the hospital, reassuring him that i will always be there. How can you tell if someone is pushing you away because they are trying to protect you or if they really just don't have feelings for you anymore? If he wasn't going through what he's been going through i would just walk away but i can't help but think that maybe he was trying to give me an out because maybe he thought i wouldn't have left on my own. He is the love of my life, never once through any of this did it occur to me to walk away. If anyone has been through a similar situation i would love to hear from you.
Thank you. :)