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have lung cancer and am alone

mharper
Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2013

I joined this site a couple months ago and then grew ill and physically incapacitated so didn't have energy for using internet; reserved energy for medical trearments but am trying hard to expand myself and seek some advice/answers from others facing lung cancer.

Where I live, there are many support groups for breast cancer and one called a 'general support for cancer patients and caregivers' but nothing for lung cancer.  Maybe there aren't many l.c. patients in my area, don't know. I am far removed from urban area and that may be the reason but I need more direct information than a 'general' group can provide. 

I am alone and have no family and for the first time in life, I feel hopeless and frightened. The medical oncologists offer nothing positive and absolutely no details so I feel I am in danger, winging it, so to speak.

I was on another site for a while but was often ridiculed for lacking a positive outlook so I came here to see what this environment is like.

My post-surgical dx was NSCLC, adenocarcinoma, no mutations and with lymph node involvement. Tx was surgery, then chemo followed by radiation.

 

Question I have is: has anyone else on here endured this cancer alone, without a family?

Thanks,

Mary

z's picture
z
Posts: 1375
Joined: May 2009

Sorry you had to find us.  I was a stage 1a had vats on 9-23-10, and so far so good.  I didn't require chemo/rad as it was caught early.  I live alone, but have family.  I visit the ot  Inspire web site, there is a lot of activity there.  I hope thats not where you were ridiculed as that isn't right.  We all have to deal with our situation as we can.  Its good to reach out.  I hope others will respond.  I wish you well.

Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Ex_Rock_n_Roller
Posts: 281
Joined: Mar 2011

... whether Inspire was the source of ridicule. I've been spending quite a bit of time there because there's a lot more traffic than there is here, but there are some people who seem to take a perverse (and relentless) pleasure in calling other people out as not positive enough, and in labeling anything they don't agree with as negative. I've found that that's a condition of human existence (the "more sensitive than thou" attitude), but it's too bad when it happens in response to legitimate concerns.

Sorry to hear that your support system isn't what you would hope for. I've had good family support, and amazing backing from friends. Maybe you could find some more support in that department.

It sounds like you've had treatment that has a really good chance of working for you.

dennycee
Posts: 817
Joined: Mar 2011

You gave voice to something I wonder about and there is another post here today from someone who was told they were not positive enough.  there is some terrific info to be gleaned from them but being told you are not positive enough or that you shouldnt talk about dying because _________, does not fulfill the needs of people who go there.  Just please keep bringing your experience with cancer here from time to Tim.  

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 3093
Joined: Jan 2010

mary, i'm so sorry you have cancer and i'm very sorry you are alone at such a time of need.  do you have a friend or neighbor who could be there for you?  the acs usually has people who will help you with getting to appts and help like that.  give them a call and see what they can do to help you so you won't be alone.  let this forum know what area u r n, maybe they is someone on here in the same area who could be your friend.  i'm sure the good people here ill provide what info they have.  as for your doc, it sounds like you need a different doc, one who cares what you r go'n thru and the best way to treat you.  i'm in the cincinnati ohio area.  i will say a prayer for you.  stay connected here, i'm sure you will find help.

God bless you,

dj

dennycee
Posts: 817
Joined: Mar 2011

You've had some good advice Here and I hope you have had time to look into it.  This link will connect you with Gildas Clubs and Cancer Support Communities across the US.  Gildas is the better known but they are in partnership and have mutual goals and services.  

http://www.cancersupportcommunity.org/MainMenu/Cancer-Support/Find-a-Local-Program.aspx

There is another organization that has a buddy system and someone who can talk on the phone 24/7.  I will try to find their info and edit this with it.  

 Edit to add Lung Cancer Alliance- Buddy Plan info and 24 hour hotline

http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/get-help-and-support/

Rosi's picture
Rosi
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2009

Mary,  You are not alone, you were never alone.  Jesus is with you all the time!!

 

medi_2's picture
medi_2
Posts: 510
Joined: Aug 2009

Hi Mary!  So sorry you are feeling alone but remember that even if you are alone physically, there are people here (and elsewhere I am sure, but I am rather fond of this site ;)) that will listen and talk to you and most importantly know what you are going through.  We have all walked in each others' moccasins in some way or another. 

Take care

Cheers!

medi

 

CathyMT
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2013

 Hi Mary, Cancer is a scary word and unless someone has been there they have no idea what we are going through. In August of 2008 I was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. I have been through surgery, chemo, and clinical trials and even though I've slowed down I'm still going!  After my 3rd year the oncologist was not making me feel hopeful so I asked for copies of all my records and went to another facility for a 2nd opinion. Please do this for your own peace of mind. You need a doctor who will discuss your current status and explain what treatments are available. New treatments and clinical trials for lung cancer are available now! Fortunately I have family to help me through this but here is an organization that has support groups for lung cancer. Search through their site and sign up for one on one support.

The website is  www.lungevity.org 

Take care,  Cathy 

 

CathyMT
Posts: 2
Joined: Aug 2013

 Hi Mary, Cancer is a scary word and unless someone has been there they have no idea what we are going through. In August of 2008 I was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. I have been through surgery, chemo, and clinical trials and even though I've slowed down I'm still going!  After my 3rd year the oncologist was not making me feel hopeful so I asked for copies of all my records and went to another facility for a 2nd opinion. Please do this for your own peace of mind. You need a doctor who will discuss your current status and explain what treatments are available. New treatments and clinical trials for lung cancer are available now! Fortunately I have family to help me through this but here is an organization that has support groups for lung cancer. Search through their site and sign up for one on one support.

The website is  www.lungevity.org 

Take care,  Cathy 

 

GrannyT62's picture
GrannyT62
Posts: 6
Joined: Mar 2013

Mary:

Sorry to hear that you are having to go through this alone.  Cancer in itself even with a support system is scary!  A positive attitude is a very good thing to have but I think that it is human nature to have times when your sick that your not going to be positive. 

I was diagonised with Small Cell Stage 4 lung cancer in December last year surgery was not an option for me as the tumor was connected to the heart.  I have completed the chemo and radiation as well as the radiation to my brain a preventative messure.  I had to travel away from home to receive my treatment because I live in Wyoming and not alot of treatment centers here.  So at times durning treatment I was by myself but I do have family, friends and co workers that were and are great supporters. 

I am in the process of doing my second check up and I hope that it comes back clear like it was in June.  I hope to be released to go back to work next Monday. 

One thing I know is when you think your alone your never alone I read the bible alot while I went through treatment and still do.  God is with all of us and it is not the doctors and the nurses that heal us it is God that can heal us.  I think that doctors and nurses are pretty quite about your condition because they don't know themselves.  I was never given a certain amount of time.  I was told that if I did not have treatment my survival did not look good. 

Hang in there and keep on smiling!!!

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