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angeldebbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2013

My husband was just recently diagnosed with 3b aggressive lung and lymph node cancer. Which I don't even understand the 3B part.

I'm having a very difficult time with this and don't understand a lot of things thats going on, the mood swings mostly. But I'm tired of feeling

sad all the time and crying which I try not to do in front of him because he blames himself for my sadness not the cancer.

I feel lost, and scared I'm mothering him to much I think and don't know how to stop I want my husband to live.

His family hates me so much that their no support at all, may family is to far away to be of any  assistance other than talking. I feel so alone.

I try to find a support group close to me but that's been difficult and when I am gone from him I feel guilty and when I come home I feel this sensation he

is upset the I wasn't here. it feels like a catch 22.

Any suggestions will be appreciatied

Thank you

dennycee
Posts: 644
Joined: Mar 2011

 

i have been on both sides of this disease.  My mom died from the same adenocarcinoma that I have in 2006.  For me it is easier to be the patient.  Those who survive us are always left wondering was there one thing they could have done better or was there one thing they may have overlooked that would have made things better or cured us or something.  If he is not taking anti anxiety or anti depressants.  He's had an awful diagnosis and there is no shame in taking them.  

This is no longer a death sentence, there are new therapies that extend life significantly for some with great quality.  If they didnt do any genetic testing of the tumors, they should.  Usually they reserve that for stage four though.  When I was diagnosed I was told that I had ten to fifteen months- that was 32 months ago.  I have pretty good quality of life.  

these links should help locate a group if you live in one of the regions covered.  The first one is for the Cancer Support Community and Gilda's Clubs.  The second is a list of the top 50-60 National Comprehensive Cancer Network.  Each offers groups for caretakers.   

http://online.cancersupportcommunity.org/locations/

http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/index.html

Edit to add Lung Cancer Alliance.  They have a phone buddy program.  http://www.lungcanceralliance.org/get-help-and-support/

dennycee
Posts: 644
Joined: Mar 2011

I forgot to add that 3b means something about its size, the number of nodes and the fact that there are no noticeable metastases to other organs.  

Jmelynn71
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2013

Hey, My Mom has  Stage 4 Liver Cancer but it has spread into her left lung. Shes in the hospital right now... they're going to put a port in her lung area so she can drain the fluid out at home. She started on Nexavar... a chemo pill for her liver... about two weeks ago. And shes in ICU and here I sit at the house because its just me and her...and I had to come home to take care of our dog, and do other things that have to be done... Because we dont have anybody helping us or supporting us. Its really rough having to deal with this all by myself. And its sad because we have family that lives all down the road we live on, and not one of them have even came by or called or anything. So I just wanted to say hello, Since it seems both you and I are on our own and having to deal with this alone.

angeldebbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2013

I am so sorry for your mom. But especially for you because no one things about the caregivers and how hard 

It is on us. Please keep in mind that God is with you and I will keep you  and your mom in my prayers. 

angeldebbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2013

His cancer is 3b non small cell which doesn't make sense to me.

Jmelynn71
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 2013

Im so sorry about your husband. I tell ya, its been hard on me... I havent been sleeping good & I havent been feeling good either.. And I know this is especially hard on my Mom. Thank you for the prayer & I will pray for you & your husband. Wish I could be of more help, but this is all new to me as well.

dennycee
Posts: 644
Joined: Mar 2011

Trying to understand where you puzzlement comes in.  There is so much info when you enter this alternate world.  Small cell cancer is classified as limited if it is caught before it spreads and extensive if it has metasticized.  Non small cell is comprised of may different types of cancers.  Adenocarcinoma, large cell, squamous and spindle cells being some of them.  A cancer that is 3B is a cancer that has multiple lymph node involvement, possible mets to the other lung but no mets outside the lungs.  Does this help?  Do you need more info about staging?

this will take you to the NIH website.  The section on staging by group is partway down the page.

 http://m.cancer.org/cancer/lungcancer-non-smallcell/detailedguide/non-small-cell-lung-cancer-staging

 

Dawn50
Posts: 115
Joined: Sep 2011

3b means it's inoperable due to location and/or size.

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