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Boyfriend Recently Diagnosed With Leukemia (ALL)

desmondpaulclark
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2013

I found out only a few days before my birthday my boyfriend was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia at age 22. I'm looking for any and all advice I can get. He will be starting chemo today, and though he has such a positive outlook on this I can't help but feel sad and robbed of our relationship (we've been together for 2 years, as well as it being a long-distance situation). I miss him all the time and now he will be completely pre-occupied with treatments, etc.

I have been researching everything about leukemia because I cannot be there for him. I know I want to support him and stay with him throughout this whole process. My issue is that i've always had him as such an amazing support system. I'm in college right now and I feel that now I cannot go to him for help and that somehow I won't succeed because of that. How can I support when I have feel I have none? I'm so thankful that he has such a fantastic family who will support him and be there while I cannot.

I hate that I pity myself so much and our situation. I'm only 19 years old so I'm looking for advice on how to deal with emotions, how to stay positive, and how to act around him. I'm planning to visit him after my semester ends (about a month and a half) and I hope that I have enough strength not to cry or break down. 

I know I am in for a very rough and long journey ahead of me, but he only deserves the best support. I've never known anyone with leukemia or any serious illnesses. I'm hoping for words of encouragment and ways to really handle my own emotions, set them aside and support someone who is so positive and wanting to get better. I want to be positive and stay that way without looking at the negative side.

In addition, I will be sending him a package in a few days. What type of items will be actually useful for him while he's there. Just hoping to raise his spirits while he begins chemo. Also, what should I expect with chemo exactly? I know it can be very intense but this is my first time dealing with something like this.

Thank you.

BryanK519's picture
BryanK519
Posts: 20
Joined: Jul 2011

I'm so sorry to hear of your boyfriend's diagnosis. I have a 15 year old son who was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma at 13. He may be facing a relapse. So I understand the grief suffered by caregivers. I've cried many tears over it. Support for your boyfriend is extremely important, but you can't deny yourself of support. You just need the resources to get that support, because your boyfriend may not have the strength to support both of you. I would recommend seeing a counselor. If for nothing else, to have someone to talk to, express your fears and concerns to. Someone who can provide you additional resources so that you can stay strong enough to help support your boyfriend. Is there a coounselor at the University you attend?

desmondpaulclark
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2013

Sorry to hear about your son, a relapse is one of my biggest fears. I wil try to look into seeing a counselor, but right now I'm at a community college so I'm not sure how much help they can offer me. I just found out that he will be going to a cancer treatment center and will be treated as a child because it is supposed to yield better results. I'm assuming your son went through chemo, how can I be supportive through that. I will be visiting him in about a month and I am kind of in the dark about chemo.
Thanks so much for the reply, and good luck.

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