Jun 08, 2013 - 7:47 pm
I have been envolved with a man for around 1 1/2 years that just got told he has PANCREATIC CANCER THAT HAS SPREAD TO MY LIVER AND STOMACH; STAGE 3 and next Friday will be to see his onocolgist to set a plan. My delema is how to support him. He has never told anyone (to my knowledge) that I even exist, so I can't be by his side. He is only texting and emailing me updates at this point in time. I pray for him constantly. I know I can do this and keep doing it. I have a strong relationship with Christ so that much is covered. I am a cancer survivor myself but my cancer was more likely survivable (sp) and I have been cancer free since 1996 which was my second fight with this monster. This facing death as he is likely to be doing is a whole different ball game. I am afraid to speek with him because I am afraid all I will do is cry. I am sure he doesn't need that. I am so terrified about the whole thing. As it stands for now unless he sends me an update I will have no idea if he is even alive from one to the next. I am hurting as he is the only man I have cared for at this level in 40 years. Wish I could just move on and pray for him but I am now just wishing I had never gotten this close and have not found a way to deal with it under the circumstances. I can at least say that the research I have been doing has lead me to understanding a lot of things that didn't line up over the time that I have known him. He once said he would never lie to me. I now believe he never has. He has also never clearly stated his feelings and has only implied them so I am still a bit on a cliff. I can at least say he cares enough to share this kind of information with me. I wonder if it would out of line to ask him to let me know where he will be getting treatment? I wonder if I set up a massage for him now and then if it would be appreciated. I don't know if he will be able to keep on working. He owns a small business. I worry about his family as he is a single parent to the youngest. I don't want to ask questions that would stress him. I am never quite sure what will send him off o tangent.
Any thouhgts would be oh so appreciated