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Lost, Alone & Broke

pattyanny's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Warriors, I haven't posted in quite a while. I am a 3 year survivor of Head & Neck Cancer, and am very grateful to God, my Sisters, and this forum of friends who have been with me throughout this new norm. During my tx, my husband was uncaring, and unresponsive to my needs - a glass of water? Well, I left him. I have custody of m daughter, and we found a nice apartment. She has turned 18, and with the help of my husbands' empty promises ( new car, no rules) has left me. Yes, I am less stressed, but I miss her very much. Her stipend for SSI Disabillity has ended, and I know my husband only has the ending of paying child support on his mind. My daughter is so happy that he "wants" her, she cannot she this. He drove her here on Mothers' Day to collect her belongings. Nice! I can no longer afford this 2 bedroom apartment, and trying to "keep the faith", while actively trying to find a place that is affordable & safe. In the last 3 1/2 years - although he was supposed to have visitation every weekend, and 5 weeks per year, he may have seen her a dozen times. My heart is broken, as she graduates - I hope - from High School in 3 weeks, and I had asked her to visit Dad each weekend to see how it works out. She just left. I went to apply for Food Stamps, and have not heard yet. Very humilating. After 20 years of marriage, and in my 50's I NEVER though I would be in this position. I am praying God will lead mt path, and put me where I can be most useful. Right now, I feel useless. I have been discarded by my 2 children, like trash. I have been trying to recycle myself into a new life, and know I can do it. This is just another bump in the road - right? Thanks for listening. Hey! Anyone need a roomie! Lol!

Love & Prayers,


Posts: 35
Joined: Feb 2013

Hi Patty.  Sorry to hear all that you have been thru and still going thru.  Your children will learn that life is not always what it seems.  They will realize the mistake they made and hopefully have the courage to return to you.  I truly believe things happen for a reason.  Why this is happening to you, I dont know, but hopefullly you will find that answer.  I wish all the luckin the world.  Stay strong!  Hey, you never know, you may meet the love of your life who is a millionaire.  Stay postive and keep looking forward

Posts: 1580
Joined: Aug 2010

Hey, Patty!

One thing I know you are from reading past posts is resilient and I know you will come out okay now.  I just hate hearing you are going through this.

Food stamps - I remember after major tornadoes came through when I was a teenager, my parents received food stamps along with everyone else.  I know we were comfortably well off and my mother was an excellent money manager but with our house destroyed all cash was diverted into emergency living needs and they used the food stamps - heck, everyone I know qualified and used them after those storms.

I guess my rambling point is that my parents had helped pay for those food stamps, were grateful for them and used them following a major storm in their lives.  You have had several major storms in your life - hope the food stamps show up soon.  I hope they are there for me if I ever have a storm of the magnitude you have endured.

Locally, there are some very nice apartment homes that have been purchased by the city for just such cases as yours - tenants are vetted to keep only legitimate needs satisfied and to keep out troublemakers - maybe your area has something along the same lines?

Your daughter - unfortunately, you and I both know she is going to learn a painful lesson at the hands of her father - but she has to learn it.  Just keep your heart open.  She is half you, remember, and only half her father.

You will bounce back, Patty.  Make sure you chronicle it here so others can learn from you.

elpasorudy's picture
Posts: 84
Joined: Jan 2013

I know this sounds like a cliche, but it so true: Take one day at a time. Otherwise, you can get overwhelmed with worry and fear. Try to map out a game plan to give yourself what you need in life. It may not be easy, but you can do it. Rule No. 1: Be good to yourself.


Mary N.
Posts: 100
Joined: Jun 2013

The comments are a month old.  I hope by now you have an apartment you can afford and have gotten the food stamps.  I have little to say that might be helpful except to let you know that I read your post and heard you.  Blessings,


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