CSN Login
Members Online: 8

The Talk...I'm seeing RED!

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

I am so mad right now! I am watching the TALK on ABC and they are talking about Michael Douglas' comments about his throat cancer being caused by oral sex and HPV related virus. I can't stand that they are laughing and making a joke about it, it demoralizes every woman that has had experienced the news that they have HPV, ot that they have a HPV related disease or cancer. These women who think they are so 'forward' thinking, and so supportive of women,I think to act like this is appalling! How are we ever going to make women feel safe and comfortable about talking about a cancer like this? We need to remove the stigma about this. 

I don't know how to contact that show, this was only way I knew I could say something about it.

STOP IT, just STOP IT!!!

babe12
Posts: 56
Joined: Jul 2012

Amen, sister!!!

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

All big shows like the Talk have a Facebook page.  The station/network also has a page and an email address.  Don't let this pass!  Best, Debrajo

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

Thanks for your support, I will check into the FB page, I can't let this sit. I believe if Sharon Osbourn had been on that show she NEVER would have let it get out of hand...laughing about cancer, really?!..and once you have cancer who cares how you got it! I think Michael Douglas is very brave to speak out about this, it had to be one of the hardest things he ever had to make a decision about. Thanks Debrajo

I honestly hope more women speak up about this too.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

Michael certainly educated me!  I had no idea you could get any type of cancer from person to person contact of any kind!  I have never heard of oral sex causing throat cancer.  That would be like a man with prostrate cancer having sex with his partner and giving her cervical cancer(I think)!  Amazing!  I already have people who, when they find out I have cancer, take a step back from me as if I am contagious!  You send them a long email or post on FB maybe they will have you on the Talk or at least someone knowlegable to bring awarness to the rest of us who don't have the favorite breast cancer.  You go girl! debrajo

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

Cancer is not contagious, it is the particular HPV virus that is. A man with prostate cancer can not infect his partner with cervical cancer, those are two different cell types. But HPV is transferrable between people and not all HPV viruses are possible of becoming cancer, it is a very specific one that can cause cancer. If a woman has cervical cancer caused from HPV, it is not a guarantee that her partner would get cancer, only that she could pass along the HPV virus. From what I have read about HPV, it is thought that 98% of the population has some form of this virus and many people never know they have it, it can lay dormant for years and then just resolve itself.

The controversy here is with the HPV virus that causes cancer, and the the fact that someone had the particular type of HPV that could cause cancer and had engaged in that particular risky behaviour ( I won't mention it) and thereby infected Mr. Douglas with the virus, then for what ever reason, his immune system could not handle the virus by eliminating it, and he developed throat cancer. I think the awareness needs to be that certain risky behaviour needs to be avoided and also that HPV has many forms.

I have vulvar cancer, not related to HPV, it is a cancer in my glandular tissue, really cancer is a result of DNA that can't fix itself and goes crazy. My husband and I had relations and he never caught cancer. I know what you mean about people stepping back when they hear you have cancer, I experienced the same reaction, especially because of where my cancer was. I even had one person ask me if my cancer was an STD. This just shows ignorance , and the more education out there about this the better, our younger generation is going to be the ones really affected by this.

Yes, HPV can be spread by sexual contact and it is considered an STD, but cancer is not an STD and I beleive that if someone contracts HPV and it results in cancer ( and it doesn't always), the focus should not be on making them feel dirty about how they got it, they need support because now they are a cancer patient, and you and I know all too well what that does to your life. Remember the days when no one would talk about breast cancer and it was all hush hush...that's why we need to change this!

You can read the posts here from women that have cervical and vulvar cancer and so many times they feel embarrassed and dirty and ashamed to tell anyone what type of cancer they have, and it is because of this very reaction to Michael Douglas. Who wants to be laughed at and thought less of while dealing with cancer? I decided right in the beginning of my cancer journey to not be afraid to talk about my cancer, I use every opportuniy to educate people about it and honestly if you are not a cancer patient, you can not even begin to understand how it feels. I have spent countless hours researching my cancer in order to understand it and to make best treatment decisions. My vulvar cancer happens to be on of the rarer ones, less than 35 cases a year, so I haven't found much about it. I am very passionate about supporting anyone with cancer, no matter how they got it. So bottom line is, you can't catch cancer from someone, only the HPV virus that can cause it, not everyone that gets the HPV virus that can cause cancer gets cancer.

I took your advice and went to FB, left a few messages, there really were a lot of comments about the show, mostly just like mine, so I am interested to see if they address it again today and apologize to numerous people. I also went to Michael Douglas' FB page to leave a comment of support to him and his family.

Cancer is devastating enough, let's not devastate each other, right? Thanks for your comments and support too.

ccfighter
Posts: 390
Joined: Jan 2012

Too bad I missed the show.  I'm sure I'd have a lot to say about it had I watched it.  Perhaps I will find it online and give it a look.  I have cervical cancer in glandular tissue that is a result of the HPV virus.  Cervical, head and neck and anal cancer are often a direct result of the HPV virus.  Funbeadgirl is correct in that the virus is contagious and not the cancer.  The virus disrupts the normal functions of DNA within infected cells and over time they evolve into malignant cells.  It is a failure of the immune system torecognize and eliminate these diseased cells.  There are several different strains of HPV, some more likely to cause cancer than others.  The prophylactic vaccine is a great first step in helping to control somroof the more high risk strains of the virus, telling the immune system that this virus is foreign and helping the body eliminate it before it becomes a problem.  Next, and what researchers are working on, is a theraputic vaccine that will help the body eliminate the virus after infection, even after malignant transformation.  Got my fingers and toes crossed they will come up with a successful theraputic vaccine soon.  Hugs to you all.

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

I'm sure you can find the show online, but by all means watch today, I am sure there will be a comment made, their FB page has many comments about yesterdays show.

CC, your comments were so to the point, thank you, it just shows how different cancer is in each person and there are so many cancers and each one has a different cell type, origin, etc. Two people can have the 'same' cancer and yet it is different. I have vulvar cancer, but it is an adenocarcinoma, not all VC is adeno, most are squamous. Treatment can be the same or different, prognosis is not the same. All of this is just a testimony to the fact that we all need to be tolerant of the other person, the number one thing is to be respectful and supportive of someone with cancer.

I have found this site to be very supportive to me during a very rough 4 years, it is a good thing we have this forum to come to for comfort and to be able to vent if needed, knowing that others understand and do not judge.

I have been reading about HPV on the CDC website, very good information...that is where all the ignorant people should go to school themselves about HPV and cancer...or maybe they should sit with a cancer patient during a 6 hour infusion of chemotherapy and sit with them for 5 days afterward.

I am sorry that you have had to deal with cancer, but I know through your posts that you are a fighter and I appreciate your support here, thank you.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

I do know something of the Hush-hush topics that so many people find so hard to talk about.  Back in the day, my mother had invasive breast cancer with node involement.  That was in 1986.  It was  very "sensitive", not to be spoken of in polite company.  I am happy to say she is stil with us and living with me and is a 26 year surviver....I believe because of AWARENESS!  My sweet daughter in law has stage 4 pre-cervical cancer, and my sister in law is battling her third bout of Vin111.  She is so "ashamed" of where her cancer is at that this third acurrance has not been treated!  She won't even talk to me and she knows I have UPSC in another "delicate"area!  Really???  So I suppose ANY publicity is good.  Why should we die just so people don't feel embarraced?  I hope they respond to the FB and coments and do another show on the whole topic.  Good luck to you ladies and I'll support you all anyway I can.  Best, Denrajo

 

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

Debrajo, I am so happy to hear that your mom has survived invasive breast cancer for so long, she must be a very strong lady! I remember back in the day when it was so inappropriate to talk about womens breast and cancer, it changed, so I know it can change in regard to cervical, vulvar, vaginal and uterine cancer and any other gyn cancer.

I am sorry about your daughter in law and sister in law, I implore your sister in law to get back to doctor to have her recurrence checked out, please! I understand the embarrassement issue, I really do, I mean who wants to tell someone that they have cancer in their genitals? I didn't, but then I re thought it...I have CANCER and cancer can occur in any cell in the body. I decided that I did not want to play along with the stigma of gyn cancers, so I was very open with anyone that asked me about having cancer. People would say they heard I had a 'female' cancer and automatically assumed it was breast cancer. I looked them in the eye and said no, I have vulvar cancer...pause...then asked them if they know what that is...99.9% of the time they did not know, even women my age. Heck I didn't know about VC until I was diagnosed, but I would then proceed to explain it to them. Most people were very supportive and even though a little embarrassed, they would listen. I only had one person tell me to stop telling them about it when I tried to explain, I suppose ignorance is bliss for some. My other pet peeve is calling the genital area by some cutesy name or saying'down there'...just say the word!

I watched The Talk today, begrudgingly, and never one word about the feedback on their FB page, nothing! That mad me even more mad, I will never watch it again. I am disturbed by the late night shows also making a joke about it, it is so sad. Obviously these are people that have never been directly affected by cancer. One comment on the FB page of the Talk was we all should lighten up a bit..I responded " lighten up about cancer?, really..how would you do that?" Perhaps if they sat in a chemo clinic for 6 hours getting death pumped into them they would have a different opinion, or if they laid in bed for 5 days with horrible body aches afterward they may have more compassion.

I found Michael Douglas' official FB page and left a message of support for him, it was very courageous for him and his wife to go public with this. In my mind once you have cancer, it doesn't matter how you got it, it's not like catching a cold, it is a crap shoot, but that is when the patient needs support and compassion. I have known two people that had lung cancer, never smoked or were around second hand smoke, and I knew a little girl, 5 yrs, old with cancer..what did she do to 'get' cancer? It is our imperfect bodies that have a glitch in the DNA . My own father smoked 3 packs a day, was 200 pounds overweight, and an alcoholic, he never had cancer, he died from complications of Type 2 diabetes. There is no rhyme or reason to anything about cancer.

Sorry to bend your ear, I get started sometimes and just keep going. You have been a supportive friend here on the boards, thank you. My very best to you, your mom, your daughter in law and sister in law, I hope you all stay healthy and strong for each other.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

 I know what you mean about the bad jokes i.e. David Letterman, and I am with you...there is NOT ONE THING FUNNY ABOUT CANCER, and the worse is the one who ask about certain cancer then when you start to tell them about it they turn green around the gills and put up their hands in a please stop motion!  My sister in law had got some dr? who tells her the Vin111 cannot matastise, but I know it's back from what little she says.  The two previous operations left her almost no genitals at all and I think she would rather   die than face that treatment all over again.My brother is no help, he said he wouldn't let anyone cut on him like that for any reason...the idiot! Speaking of "cutesy"names, my own mother had to had to be told what the word vulvar ment!  Said they were never taught the correct names of all body parts!  Really?  How in the world did she have four kids and not know her body parts?!  I get going ,too so forgive.  I think you ladies go through much more pain that most of us.  Hope you get some pain relief and good rest soon.  Keep us posted...I do lurk!  Best, debrajo

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

We need a support organization for women with cancer of the genitals, it is a lonely feeling and I understand how it feels to have body parts hacked off. I feel empathy for your sister in law, my heart breaks for her, I am glad she has you.

Men just don't know how to deal with stuff like this, for being the so called 'stronger' of the sexes they sure are whimpy. I think women are way stronger than men, just my opinion.

I don't know much about VIN111, I never had that before my vulvar cancer, but I know my VC is very different than other VCs. The ACS website has a lot of info about it, and from what I understand, VIN111 spreads to other healthy tissue, so in my book, that sounds like a metastes, but I think 'metastes' refers specifically to cancer. It's all so sad, I really wish I could start a grass roots movement for this very issue, of gyn cancers women are afraid to talk about. There needs to be somewhere a woman can go to get support and talk about what is happening to her. I don't think docs are equipped to handle the emotional and body issues that we have because of the cancer and treatment.

Here I go again Debrjo! I will post after my next surgery to let you all know how I am doing. Take care and BE STRONG!!!

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

Have YOU thought about starting a Facebook page just for women (or men)who have genital cancer?  The ovarian ladies have one for them that is called "Teal Wariors" and it seems that just about every "orphan" disease has a page.  It can be a closed, members only page if you wanted and I don't think it cost anything.  Alot of the infant loss people have their pages, some with things for sell or donations to hospitals for families of neonatal death.  I belong to several since I lost and infant son years ago.  Until recently I made homemade crochet blankets for the memorie boxes.  EVERYONE has a page now days.  If you are not able to have the time or out of comission from surgery, maybe some of the other ladies on this board would like to help.  It certainly needs to happen...a place for all of you to really let it all hang out and form a comon help for each other.  It really must be a lonely road, especially for the young and for people who are in rural areas that have no kind of surport.  Just a thought!  Me on my soap box!  Debrajo

P.S. About men...my mother says that if men had to have the first baby, the human race would have ended millions of years ago!!!

funbeadgirl
Posts: 159
Joined: Jan 2009

Ha HA, I agree with your mom! I just recently got a FB page and am not real savvy with it, but I will think about that. I certainly will have a lot of time on my hands after my next surgery. Thanks for the idea.

Off to my oncologist today to find out when my next scan will be.

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1243
Joined: Jul 2012

Sorry to barge in on your conversation.

Here's the link to Michael Douglas's video appearance on "The Talk" show http://www.cbs.com/shows/the_talk/video/BZaE7Tf6UUuxweU94qeZro15lbzYslhT/the-talk-michael-douglas-cancer/

Here's the link to post comments and connect with actors http://www.cbs.com/connect/shows/44810/the-talk/

I remember being 7 years old and diagnosed with vulvovaginitis. It turned out to be the wrong diagnosis, but until I knew that, I kept proudly repeating the big word to my grade 2 classmates. That until my mom overheard and told me to shut up about it. I knew back then what vulva was but I did not understand why I was not allowed to talk about my body part. I am 45 now and still for the life of me I don't understand why some diseases are considered "awkward". We all have genitals, breasts and anuses, male or female. Every baby is born as a result of vaginal intercourse. So unless they were born by in-vitro fertilization or found in cabbage people must see sex as the most natural type of human behavior and their internal and external genitals is what keeps our species alive.

However it spreads cancer is cancer. Almost everyone has or had HPV at some point of their life. Unless they intentionally and knowingly infect others no one needs to apologize for having oral, anal, vaginal or any other type of sex they fancy. What goes on between consenting adults is no one's business but their own.

I have ovarian cancer. I had one female moron at work ask me if it is contagious. I told her "Yes, it is. You probably already inhaled it." I am glad that she now steers clear of my office.

debrajo's picture
debrajo
Posts: 784
Joined: Sep 2011

Alexandra!  You crack me up!  You should quit your day job and start doing stand-up comedy!  I will remember the moron comment the next time some idiot steps back away from me when they find out I have cancer!  Thanks for the links and the belly laugh!  

debrajo

HarvestMoonHaven
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2013

You made me laugh out loud, and I truly needed that. I know, some people are just so ignorant. I was told, cause my so-called life partner replaced me during my first go-round with cancers, that many, many people really DO think they can catch cancer from us!! That is so...crazy, but thats what the councelors told me. It ended up being a good thing though; I was so young I didnt have time to focus on anything but raising my son on my own, and getting money to survive; so a job (full time) was in order; while I went in for my 25 radiation treatments. I used to say I was grateful for the experience of cancer, it is a great teacher; but not all the lessons are happy endings either. But, getting it again, almost 30 years later?? that was cruel and it did change everything. I wasnt as strong, or healthy due to the poisoning radiation..and went quite sometime before we knew it was cancer, again. Now? Now I try to teach others how to NOT end up like me. as one who works with herbs and nutrition though, many doctors would prefer me to go away quietly. (I am welsh, irish ands scot, those chances are slim at best). BTW Thank you for the welcome..and if I can be of help; though not online daily; I will help if I can. Blessings. Cindy.

teg's picture
teg
Posts: 12
Joined: Apr 2013

Hello everyone,

This is my first post since joining in March 2013. I have been diagnosed with vin 3 and have had to deal with only one surgery. I wish the topic of hpv was not so taboo. My mother was with one man (old-fashioned Italian) and she had hpv. Like many of you have said, millions of people are exposed to hpv. Some may shed the virus, but the potential damage to one's dna remains forever.

I saw an excellent show featuring Blythe Danner, mother to Gwenneth Paltrow, who talked about her husbands death from esophogeal cancer. She said that his cancer was from hpv and that folks should not ignore symptoms and that the topic of hpv should be discussed. There was not any jovial comments or light moments. I commend her courage in talking about her husbands death. I forgot what show she was on, so I can't share the link with you.

I wish each and everyone of you good heal. By for now.

Thelma

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1243
Joined: Jul 2012
teg's picture
teg
Posts: 12
Joined: Apr 2013

Alexandria, thank you for posting the videos.

i also saw another public service announcement from Michael Douglas concerning oral cancers related to "a common virus" I was not able to post the You Tube video from my iPad, as I am still learning the ropes here.

thelma

 

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1243
Joined: Jul 2012
HarvestMoonHaven
Posts: 10
Joined: May 2013

Didnt watch the show. Glad I didnt. I do often wonder why it is that so much attention is paid to our breasts, but if its ovarian, or cervical or uterine..its a what???? secret?? I totally agree; this just makes it worse. What a marroon as Bugs would say...I just wonder what the heck his wife thought of that??

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network