CSN Login
Members Online: 6

Am I alone in feeling that no one truly understands?

snglmom78
Posts: 2
Joined: May 2013

I am 34, a single mom, and going through my second battle with cancer. I have stage 4 endometriual cancer that has metastisized to my bones and lymph nodes. I have very supportive family and friends but sometimes I feel like screaming. My friends made a website and are devoted to helping me knock off things on my bucket list, my brother is the business minded one of the bunch and he is planning my funeral, checking on life insurance policies, etc. my parents are just sad and scared to talk to me... 

I am very greatful for all the people in my life but I feel like I am fighting alone. I feel like everyone is preparing for my death and not supporting me in my fight to live. I know how hard this is on my friends and family, and I dont mean to sound selfish.. but sometimes I just feel so alone. 

Am I alone in this feeling?

sunflash's picture
sunflash
Posts: 158
Joined: Aug 2011

I am sooooo sorry you're dealing with this at such a very young age.

There are many factors which will determine your treatment options.......one of them being the GRADE of your cancer, or how aggressive it is. Do you know what grade you have? What type of treatment are you having?

You sound like you have very supportive family and friends who mean well, but it's hard to get behind the eyes of someone with cancer if you've never had it. The truth is, nobody knows how much time you have left. There are many women on this forum with stage 4 cancer who are doing very well with treatment. You are an individual, not a statistic, and everyone responds to treatment differently. There are new treatments being developed that may prove successful for you. Have you checked into any trials that you may be eligible for?

You need to spend the time you have feeling well LIVING LIFE and enjoying your child (children?) Do you have any support groups in your area where you can meet people of your age who are dealing with cancer?

Come here to vent as many times as you like. This is a place where we've all "done that, been there", and we truly understand.

Sending big hugs............

NoTimeForCancer's picture
NoTimeForCancer
Posts: 578
Joined: Mar 2013

Snglmom78, you sound amazing.  I don't think people, family, friends, know what to say to any of us fighting cancer.  I don't think I would know before I got this t-shirt, but now that I own it?  I am not sure I would know what to say now either.  I do tell people the whole truth.  They are afraid to ask, and I might say more then I should, but then they know.  I want them to KNOW, I want to bring out from the back of the closet in to the light of day the things they need to know or what it is you want to do or how you want to fight. 

You clearly are NOT selfish.  You care about your family, friends and everyone else, but it IS OK to be selfish sometimes.  Let them know you want them as your cheerleaders in your fight. 

 

 

NorahS
Posts: 93
Joined: Dec 2012

...if at all possible. 

I don't know why, but there is a real sense of 'belonging' with others who have cancer - they will understand. I never was much of a 'joiner' but I have become one since I've had cancer.

Sending many good thoughts and wishes your way.... 

 

jazzy1's picture
jazzy1
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

I started my cancer journey as a member of a women's therapy group, meeting once per week......full of wondeful women, all fighting some form of cancer.  We talked about everything from how our families and friends don't understand to what type of side affects we have from certain drugs, etc, etc.  The sky was the limit on what we discussed, but let me tell you, I felt never alone, and gained so much insight from others during my entire cancer journey.  

One topic which ALWAYS came up --- why do others not understand us?  Until they're in our shoes, they know no different.  I've had good friends who from the start were on board with my cancer journey, and then a few other family members that thought they'd never speak to me again, as tomorrow was my "d-day".  Little did they know after 4 years I'm still here and kicking.

You will most likely NEVER convince many of them, but you can sure try.  The best thing you can do, find some kind of support group or meet with a therapist whom can guide you and make you feel like you're okay.  The non-for-profit I joined (BTW everything is FREE) is called CANCER SUPPORT COMMUNITY and do know they're in many other locations in US beside my city, St Louis.  If they do not have a location in your area, try calling a few hospitals as many offer support as well...or go thru your insurance co. for therapist.  

This worked for me, as to why I'm suggesting.  You might not like unloading your thoughts in front of others or on a one-to-one basis with only a therapist.  In the end you must realize you're not alone in your journey.  Life isn't easy, then add on cancer diagnosis and it's really complicated,then add on friends and family who aren't in the same field as you might be today.

Hope you find a good fit to give you support and guidance....we're here for you, so keep coming back!!

Jan 

 

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network