May 04, 2013 - 9:03 am
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There's such a huge difference in how people approach a sick patient. I love the people who ask what I'm up to, and ask with enthusiasm... rather than the people who act like the world is coming to an end.
On Friday, I went in to my radiation treatment in the middle of the afternoon (4th treatment, only 6 to go!)... it's a pretty intimidating experience. on the verge of one of the most depressing things ever. But the two ladies who administer my treatment... they were focused on what I had lined up for the weekend. And, they asked it in such a way that it triggered a positive conversation and they made me feel more relaxed and calm.
it was: "so joe, its good to see you today... what kind of fun things do you have lined up for this beautiful weekend??"
Isn't that a lot better than hearing: "So Joe, you've had four rough treatments this week... (with sad puppy dog eyes, and dramatic expression) How are you FEELING? Would you like to talk about your feelings and side effects?"
It's crazy. It hit me so hard yesterday, that I wanted to run through the halls at the Hickman Cancer Center to tell the 95% of the people who have worked on or with me over the past 18 months how positive they have been... and because of their positive spirit, it helps me stay positive.
the worst thing in the world, is the care giver who is that smothering loving motherly type... I know she means well, but I'm Living here!!!!!
Oh... and this one goes for everyone. If you're talking to me or to a cancer fighter.... if you have a story about your best friends, uncles neighbor, who had cancer 15 years ago... if the story doesn't have a positive ending... save it.
I really don't care and neither does any other cancer patient care to hear about it unless it has a really good ending. If I would have asked everyone who has made me sit through their story... and I finished with the only question i know to ask... "yeah, how that person doing today?" and I kid you not... it seems like 80% of the time the answer is "oh, they died, but they outlived what the doctors told them by X years" My mind goes... You dude, those so much for the positive energy there! (yes, you are sensing some sarcasm there! LOL)
And... one more life lesson for the week: When you see my kids, my wife or my friends or family... please ask them about THEM first, not about me.
Nothing worse than someone who sees one of my sons, and its the first time they've seen them in a year or so... and the very first question is "how's your dad doing?"
What are they, wood?
Show your care for the people in front of you first.... and if the conversation goes well... and there's positive energy going back and forth... eventually (or most likely) the conversation will lead to that topic) But, its so disappointing to hear that people would rather here the gory details of my cancer or my treatments... instead of having a conversation with them to share a smile, laugh or a hug.
Be positive to others, and positive energy will certainly be returned.