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blady13ny's picture
blady13ny
Posts: 1
Joined: May 2013

I came across the cancer survivors network while I was looking for some grief support.  In March of 2012 I found out that I needed surgery on my spine.  My husband thought he had a cold because he was coughing and went to see a doctor because he did not want to make me sick since I had to have this surgery or I would eventually lose the use of my arms and legs.  We got a phone call telling us to come to the doctors office right away because there was a problem with the xray they took.  Needless to say they found a 14cm tumor in his left lung, to say the least we were shocked and scared.  The doctors sent him for a lung biopsy, mri and pet scan.

They said he had stage 4 lung cancer and since the cancer was only in his lung they would be able to get it under controll.  We trusted the doctors we were in shock and we were very intimidated by his doctors.  We thought the doctors had his best interest in mind and told us not to worry that after the chemo and radiation he should have atleast another five years.  WE TRUSTED THEM.   He did everything they told him to do, he took every drug and in the beginning he started to feel better even after he read on line that he only had a 16% chance of surviving a year.   They told him not to pay attention to that.  His tumor was reduced down to 2cm after 2 chemos and his doctors told us that they now felt that he could be cured.  We felt truely blessed.  After he complted his chemo and radiation he started to have pains in his back and side.  The cancer came back and spread through out his whole body.  On November 30th he was put in hospice care and on December 14, 2012 he died in our home after endoring unimaginable pain.  

After 30 years my life ended when his did.  I agonize over the fact that we totally and blindly followed what the doctors put in front of us.  I should have been a better caregivier, I should have questioned and I should have demanded answers. I was nieve and he depended on me and I feel like I let him down.  

 

Become educated, ask lots of questions and if your doctor doesn't answer them find another doctor.

Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Ex_Rock_n_Roller
Posts: 267
Joined: Mar 2011

" I agonize over the fact that we totally and blindly followed what the doctors put in front of us. "

I'm not clear on what you think the doctors did wrong. He did undergo chemo and radiation, right? Unfortunately, not everybody gets a long-lasting result out of that.

Rosi's picture
Rosi
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2009

HELLO BLADY13NY...I FEEL VERY SAD TO KNOW THAT THIS EVIL CANCER DID TO YOUR HUSBAND. I HAVE THE SAME HISTORY TO TELL, WHEN THEY TOLD ME THAT MY HUSBAND HAD 4 STAGE LUNG CANCER I KNEW IT WAS BAD, BUT THE DOCTORS THEY ACT LIKE WITH QUEMO AND RADI . HE WAS GOING TO BE OK. YES THE TUMOR GOT SMALLER,AND THEY EVEN SAY HE WAS IN REMISSION, BUT NO,NO CANCER IS THE DEVIL IS NEVER GOOD IT WILL KILL YOU.. AFTER GOING TOURTURE AFTER TOURTURE WITH ALL THE MEDICINE. HE WENT TO HEAVEN.  AND NOW I TELL MYSELF: "IF I EVER GET CANCER, I DO NOT WANT MEDICINE, JUST GIVE SOMETHING FOR PAIN. 

Ex_Rock_n_Roller's picture
Ex_Rock_n_Roller
Posts: 267
Joined: Mar 2011

... cautious doctors never want to talk about life span. They know it's a crapshoot even with treatment. And when they beat around the bush about how much time somebody has left, they get hung out to dry for doing that.

Not an easy position to be in.

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