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Alternate medicine

Sunshine60
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2013

Today I had a friend of the family call to discuss "alternative medicine" vs radiation treatment.  By the time I got off the phone I was in tears- do people think I want to see my husband go through all this treatment and Get so ill ?Do they not think we haven't thought and researched through everything out there?  What do I say to them?  Have any of you had this discussion or how to deal with this issue?  Any advice would be welcome......

longtermsurvivor's picture
longtermsurvivor
Posts: 1836
Joined: Mar 2010

to listen to them.  It is totally up to you to decide what you want to put up with.  In my case, people who offered that kind of advice were pretty watered down, and not aggressive.  So I generally gaave them a minute or two of listen time and thanked them for their concern.  But heck, you can just as well tell them you aren't interested in what they are saying and be done with it.  Especially if someone is advancing their case so aggressively you find yourself being upset.

 

Pat

jim and i's picture
jim and i
Posts: 1683
Joined: May 2011

People mean well but that doesn't excuse pushy people who make you feel guilty. Don't let them upset you. I lnow that is easier said than done but remember this is personal and only you and your hubby can know what you feel is best.

I am praying for you both.

Debbie

phrannie51's picture
phrannie51
Posts: 3852
Joined: Mar 2012

that laying money down on a craps table is very easy when you're playing with someone else's money....that should the dice ever be placed in their hands, you will support whatever treatment they choose for themselves. 

Cancer works as a big sifter....it not only sifts true friends from the not so true, it also sifts out the idiots.  Consider this family friend "sifted".   It doesn't mean you should drop them as a friend....just that they've been put on the "no listen" list.

p

Sunshine60
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2013

Phrannie, that's exactly what I thought when I got off the phone- if it were her husband i wonder if it would seem that easy.  I normally am really good at handling people and their views.... I just feel so vulnerable right now and am finding it hard to handle even simple things.   Thank you all for listening and replying.  

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 2590
Joined: Jan 2010

they don't realize how much research u've done, not to mention the discussions with the docs.  they don't realize this is on ur mind 24/7.  they just don't get it.  u and ur hubby know what is best and that's what u have to go with.  whatever tx plan is put in place will b a rough road but it is doable.  just hang in there and eat and drink as much as u can while ur able.  that will be very important.  wishing u the best.

God bless,

dj

jcortney's picture
jcortney
Posts: 426
Joined: Sep 2012

If alternative medicine worked, Steve Jobs might still be alive.  He had pretty good odds of beating his cancer (he didn't really have pancreatic cancer, he had carcinoid.  Big difference and much higher cure rate.  My brother had it.) and decided that alternative medicine was for him.  By the time he realized his mistake it was too late.

Sunshine, in this instance you have to understand that people feel a need to express an opinion.  I can't tell you how many "experts" wanted to tell me how "uncle Charlie" was treated for his prostrate and can't they just inject a little pill like that for me?  I should look into it.

File what they say in the trash section of your brain.

Take care,

Joe

robswife87's picture
robswife87
Posts: 182
Joined: Mar 2013

else would work, the ethical ones would defenitely not put any patient through this hell. If only chemo worked that is what they would do

Radiation is just eating my hubby up to the point of crying in pain, and not a human on earth would watch someone go through this if there were alternatives.

Pharma would but doctors NO

katenorwood
Posts: 1862
Joined: May 2012

I still get those darn phone calls from well meaning people.  They read something or see something on TV.  Or even a few who are living totally organic lives.  I am polite to them, and then explain the facts of my dx to them.   Usually shuts them down pretty quickly.  We didn't choose to get cancer....we have it, and do our best to get the proper tx's.  To be honest I wish I didn't know as much as I do about my dx.  Stay positive, you sound like a fantastic caregiver.  Will be thinking only positives for you both !   Katie

Sunshine60
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2013

Katie, I believe I have come back to my sanity!  I normally blow things off like this but here lately I feel so scared and alone.   We have a wonderful tx team at our Cancer Center; I know I need to trust they know what they are doing. Fear of unknown I Know. Just want to get rads started so we can get done.  Thank you:)

CivilMatt's picture
CivilMatt
Posts: 3089
Joined: May 2012

SS60

If “alternative medicine” was so much better than radiation it would not be called alternative.

I am with Phrannie, sift them.

Robswife, let the doctors and nurses know if he is having problems, it should be manageable not unbearable.

Matt

ratface's picture
ratface
Posts: 1254
Joined: Aug 2009

 I have to admit the coffee enemas weren't that bad. What a rush you get from ingesting coffee that way.  I can use the energy to unload the truckload of Asparagus. These were my two most memorable.  The real threat of these well meaning friends of ours is distraction from the task at hand. Keep your concentration on real  medicine and appreciate a well meaning phone call  leaving it at that.  'Sifting" them is a good "alternative.

Sunshine60
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2013

Thank you!  That brought such a smile to my face!  You are all absolutely right.  Don't worry, I am back in my normal mood.  Had a slip there for a moment........... 

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8103
Joined: Sep 2009

Man, that puts an entirely different spin on my Starbucks, Triple Venti Latte...., LOL..

I would only consider alternative medicine as a last ditch effort, when everything else has failed with no other "alternatives"...

JG

cureitall66's picture
cureitall66
Posts: 879
Joined: Aug 2012

I think you get the picture here from all of the folks here on the forum. If there was a better alternative, the doctors would be giving it to you and others. Just as others have stated, if it were them, would they really take that approach?

As Phrannie and Ratface say.....sift through "them" and make them the alternative. : )

John has taken the words out of my mouth as well. Only as a last resort would I mention that to my loved one. I actually had a classmate that had a very rare kidney cancer and no cancer ctr had a good prognosis for him. He was given 6-9 months even with the current protocol known. He did try the natural alternative about he last 60 days of his life and it still didn't make a difference. Only in his situation would I consider mentioning it to someone.

Throw off those thoughts from others that cause you more fear and anxiety and listen to your doctors. I believe God gave doctors the gift of education, lets let them utilize it!

So put on your gear and get ready for the ride... soon it will be over.

~C

 

HobbsDoggy
Posts: 165
Joined: Feb 2013

No argument, no response except "I am sure you mean well, but that does not help."  If they could not figure it out for themselves doubt that you telling them will help.  I agree they can still be friends but not about treatment adn about the cancer. 

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