Beyond Tired & Discouraged

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wolfen
wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Just a quick update to let you know my hubby is progressing very slowly. He still can't stand alone. He was given an Ambien for sleep last night and the effect was the same as before, semi-concious and hallucinating all day, but without the fever & infection. NO MORE Ambien. The Ascites is back, so he's getting an ultrasound tomorrow to determine if draining is necessary. There's rumbling that they want to move him to a long term care facility. He told the girl to dig his grave as he won't go to a home. I want to bring him home and have my grandson stay here and help us. It's just so heartbreaking to see him like this. He still can't drink water due to choking. WBC is up to 12, but platelets remain low at 28.

Prayers and good vibes are welcome.

Luv,

Wolfen

Comments

  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #2
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    Hi Wolfen....

    I hear the tone in your post ...I can only imagine how exhausted you are and hurt to see your husband this way ....I still think my wife had it worse than me as the caregiver ...

    I soooo wish I could do more, but what I can do I did....I whispered that prayer PLEASE give you some relief, strength and let your husband feel, get better soon...

    I whispered that as I hit post ...

    Tim

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,722 Member
    #3
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    be better, be better, be better

    Wolfen,

     

    Prayers and good vibes, you got it (you don’t ask for much).

     

    I would expect your Hubby’s body to be adjusting to all the treatment and start to turn positive soon.

     

    Always hoping for the best for both of you.

     

    Matt

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #4
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    No Soup for you...

    I mean No Ambien for him... Sounds like he isn't tolerating that to well..., but I of course am far from a professional medical person, LOL.

    Hopes, thoughts and prayers for continued improvement...

    John

  • vermontgirl
    vermontgirl Member Posts: 66
    #5
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    Thinking good thoughts

    It is so hard as a caregiver to watch your husband struggle and feel defeated.  keep strong yourself and he will feel that strength to lean on when he can't muster that himself.  you sound so exhausted.  having your son there is such a good idea to share the emotional weight of it all.  No Ambien.

    Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way

  • rachel12yrsuv
    rachel12yrsuv Member Posts: 435
    #6
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    Wolfen,
    I got nothing but
    Wolfen,

    I got nothing but prayers and positive vibes to send you. I would love to hear that Hubby has turned around and he is going home soon, and I will keep praying for nothing else. While he is sleeping or incoherant, keep talking to him, tell him to fight, to pull out of this so you can go home TOGETHER! BELIEVE in God and all things he can do for you and Hubby, don't let set backs test your faith, instead let your faith be stronger and push you, don't let the bad side pull you down.



    God Bless,prayers,love and big hugs being sent to you both,

    Rachel
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #7
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    prayers

    Wolfen,

    This is so wearing on you and especially on your husband.  I am so sorry.  O.K. so their talking long term care center....have you inquired about a swing bed instead ?  My parents were so against care centers when mom was having such a hard time recovering.  I do understand the feelings involved.  Know all of our prayers are with you....and a giant cyber hug sent !  Katie

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #8
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    dear wolfen, u sound so

    dear wolfen, u sound so tired.  i'm so sorry things haven't improved yet.  hang in there and stay tough.  having your grandson help is a great idea.  u will need to get some rest.  u have to take care of yourself so u are able to help ur hubby.  i'm saying a prayer and sending positive vibes ur way.  take care.

    God bless u,

    dj

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #9
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    When I saw the subject line

    I could actually feel your tiredness....you've been through so damn much with no end in sight for months now....I'm wrapping my arms around you and saying a prayer that things will turn around.  He's still got gumption (telling them to dig his grave....he's NOT going to a care facility!!!). 

    His platlets are very low.....so if he goes home, he's got to understand that there's no trying to get up on his own.....he absolutely cannot fall.  With that said, I my hopes are....that your grandson can come and stay with you.  You're only 3 miles from the hospital, and maybe a home health nurse can check in a couple times a week to make sure things are ok?

    p

  • HobbsDoggy
    HobbsDoggy Member Posts: 276
    #10
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    All Good Wishes

    The struggle is imense and seems endless and who knows the outcome - I cannot think of a worse situation, if there is any ray it is that many are in your and your husband's corner and thinking of both of you.  My Mom had a similar stuggle with long term care, but she was happier there than at home.  I know it sounds strange, they did a better job than we could do and we could visit almost every day and the visits were without the work so just mostly nice.  Everyone is different and if I was faced with that, and who knows I might be sooner than I think, I have no clue how I would react or what I wold do. 

    All the best.

  • jim and i
    jim and i Member Posts: 1,788 Member
    #11
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    Thoughts, encouragement and

    Thoughts, encouragement and prayers coming your way. May God give you both strength, comfort and peace.

    Debbie

  • VivianLee5689
    VivianLee5689 Member Posts: 546
    #12
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    jim and i said:

    Thoughts, encouragement and

    Thoughts, encouragement and prayers coming your way. May God give you both strength, comfort and peace.

    Debbie

    Wolfen

    I don't know what to say.  So much of what you are going through sounds familiar to me.  I just pray the outcome is different.  It is hard as the wife to watch our man suffer.  I had to quit my job to keep David out of a long term care facility.  He didn't want that either.

  • NJShore
    NJShore Member Posts: 429 Member
    #13
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    Thinking of you

    Wolfen,

    I am thinking of you today.. hoping that the 'answers' are appearing to you, and that the plan is an easy one on everyone. You are so strong, and having help at home is definitely needed if that is your path. I can't say that any one ever wanted a long-term facility.. and I so understand your husbands response. I would hope they could have "recovery centers", step down support.. a few here do, and they do marvelous things for people until they get on their feet again. Hope his out look stays positive, no matter what path you choose.

    Keep us posted.. my best wishes for a good plan.

    Kari

  • peggylulu
    peggylulu Member Posts: 375
    #14
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    Just a thought

    Wolfen if you haven't already by now, ask the Doctor or Nurses about a Swing Bed before you take him home. I think that would give him another 3 weeks to improve and you more time to prepare for his homecoming . I took care of my Mother at home that had a massive stroke and was bedridden and they did that for me one time so she wasn't sent to a Nursing home. One of the Nurses told me about the Swing Bed or I would never have know to ask !!! Thinking of you and hoping this helps.

    Peggy

  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #15
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    peggylulu said:

    Just a thought

    Wolfen if you haven't already by now, ask the Doctor or Nurses about a Swing Bed before you take him home. I think that would give him another 3 weeks to improve and you more time to prepare for his homecoming . I took care of my Mother at home that had a massive stroke and was bedridden and they did that for me one time so she wasn't sent to a Nursing home. One of the Nurses told me about the Swing Bed or I would never have know to ask !!! Thinking of you and hoping this helps.

    Peggy

    Whats a swing bed???? If I may ...

    I've never heard of that ....if I  may ask?  Thanks,

     

    Tim

  • peggylulu
    peggylulu Member Posts: 375
    #16
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    Tim6003 said:

    Whats a swing bed???? If I may ...

    I've never heard of that ....if I  may ask?  Thanks,

     

    Tim

    Swing bed

    There may not be any such thing anymore , but about ten years ago when my Mother was in the Hospital and they were going to have to transfer her to a Nursing Home ( I guess due to Medicare rules ) and I didn't want to put her there , one of her nurses told me to ask the Doctor about a swing bed . I think it was just a way that they could keep her there for 3 more weeks because they didn't even have to move her to another room.

    Peggy

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #17
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    wolfen, how is hubby doing

    wolfen, how is hubby doing today?  is he going 2 get 2 come home?  i pray he is doing much better and that ur on ur way home with him.  please let us know how u both are doing.

    God bless,

    dj

  • bjw1955
    bjw1955 Member Posts: 67
    #18
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    Wolfen

    Prayers going your way for your husband  to fight this beast so he can come home and heal and never forget your are the best caregiver. Blessings, bjw1955

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