Mar 30, 2013 - 5:21 pm
by Theo Cult
The IV drips a steady beat to my tired heart as I lay staring at the ceiling above.
Oh, that I could be anywhere but here and now, doing anything at all.
The cure, for now, is worse than the disease, you see.
The chemo seems to eat away my soul more than the cancer.
I close my eyes and imagine sitting in the noonday sun.
The burning in my veins almost makes this illusion real.
I smile. I'm so tired.
I remember the heartbreak of this latest discovery, my body's betrayal.
I have to be strong, to put on a brave front for all those who know me.
Inside, though, I just want to rage at the absurdity of it all.
But thinking takes a lot of energy today.
I breathe out a long, determined sigh and try to relax.
There's no getting comfortable on these damned plastic mattresses.
Again, I smile.
I think back on the road I have traveled, to every sunny spot along the way.
My life, as hectic as it is, has been full of triumph and happiness.
I have no intention of giving that up now.
I have known many people, been adored by many more.
I cannot give up on those who cheer me ever onward.
Still, in moments like this, it is easy to be tempted, but I am not.
I'm a fighter. So, I smile.
So what if I have an obstacle before me, it certainly isn't the first, nor the last.
I will come away from this as I did before, a brilliant Phoenix arisen.
Let my brilliance dazzle all who behold me.
Until then, I will wait in quiet contemplation, honing my craft.
My best is yet to come and it will be a spectacle for the ages.
Be gone, foul, malignant thing. You hold no sway over me.
I smile because I've already beaten you and I'm ready for round two.