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I need a do over

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

I was just thinking that last year at this time I was a completely normal ( whatever that is) person. Just coating along- working , going to the gym a few vacations a year- life is good. Then wham! Right over the head with a sledge hammer. Then you hear " we got it early - your strong and young- stay strong. Ten hear ya go - off to the unknown- surgery- you don't know if you are going to ever wake up and what you will look like. Bit you get thru it. THen treatment. Poison and radiation - what a cocktail. You gather everyone in the familly and let them know you will be alright- even if your not sure . And somehow you get through the treatment. Ad you think I made it. A few months pass and your feet constantly tingle, you can't taste your food your neck looks like the rooster, your hearing stinks, everything tastes like salt, swallowing is hard and your constantly tired. I need a do over!  I know I am lucky to be alive, and when I hear some of the posts like the guy signing his own hospice papers I know my issues are minimal. But I needed to vent and this is the only mental therapy I can afford.

ditto1
Posts: 630
Joined: Mar 2012

, but venting is always welcome here we all have done it at one time or the other.  

peggylulu's picture
peggylulu
Posts: 367
Joined: Dec 2012

 It's free And we all know EXACTLY what you mean !Frown

phrannie51's picture
phrannie51
Posts: 3743
Joined: Mar 2012

where could you vent?  Only the folks here completely understand the frustration of not being able to taste food, and when you can taste it, it's got a weird flavor....your hands and feet feel like they're connected to a light electrical current....your ears are doing strange things...some of us lost some of our hearing, others get the wax build up, or the never ending ringing.  My eyes in the morning are like a distemper puppy...can't believe how much goop they produce when I'm sleeping.  The only place to get any satisfaction is venting where people can relate....and that is HERE!! Laughing 

Most of these things fade away....slowly but surely.  The things that don't our minds will simply learn to live around.  But until then, feel free to vent....we've all done it at one time or another.

p

fishmanpa's picture
fishmanpa
Posts: 1113
Joined: Jan 2013

I seem to be "venting" a LOT more since treatment started... Ummm... Hmmm... How shall I put this?  Let's just say I could power a few propane grills by myself no problem!  Talk about TMI! ~lol~ 

"T" 

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8088
Joined: Sep 2009

Maybe we should start calling you MT, Methane T...

JG

fishmanpa's picture
fishmanpa
Posts: 1113
Joined: Jan 2013

Just remember... there's only 6" between the curb and the gutter ;)~

"T"

 

phrannie51's picture
phrannie51
Posts: 3743
Joined: Mar 2012

what treatment does to our bowels....I wish I could find the post that one of the old timers wrote about his....I laughed till I cried, mostly because every word was the absolute truth....he just happened to say it all in an uproariously funny way.

p

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8088
Joined: Sep 2009

Roar, if Cancer doesn't kill you, treatment will come very close....

My favorite phrase during treatment was...

Other than having cancer, I'm in perfect health...

JG

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

Being the sarcasm expert I am sometimes - when people who haven't seen me in a while say " did you lose weight" I say yes and they say how did you do it and I say the cancer diet. 

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8088
Joined: Sep 2009

Yep...

I tell them it's a rough diet, that I wouldn't want to share with anyone...

JG

ToBeGolden's picture
ToBeGolden
Posts: 697
Joined: Aug 2010

Even those of us who have the "easy route", go through H*LL. Before going through the cancer treatment, one would never guess what it would be like. The fact that we get thru it as well as we do is a testament to the human spirit. No one expects you (no one expects me) to be on the top of our game at every moment. I'm about ready to have a big rant of my own. But I'll put it in its own thread. Rick.

debbiejeanne's picture
debbiejeanne
Posts: 2454
Joined: Jan 2010

venting is allowed for sure.  we all do it and sometimes, it is exactly what we need to do.  it makes us feel a little better for a little while and that's ok.  so please feel free to vent any time you feel it necessary.  the next time it may be someone else.....lol.  Tongue OutSmile

God bless,

debbiejeanne

PatDarago
Posts: 13
Joined: Sep 2012

I think we all feel it,thank you for saying it!!!

CivilMatt's picture
CivilMatt
Posts: 2979
Joined: May 2012

Roar,

 

Funny thing about “T” venting and Skiffin commenting is I now fart like my Dad, before treatment I was my own man now I am a chip off the old block.  Don’t know why?

 

Roar, if you feel better so much the better.

 

Excuse me while I vent,

 

Matt

Duggie88's picture
Duggie88
Posts: 542
Joined: Feb 2010

Hell yeah you can vent. If I were you I would go outside and live up to my name and just roar at the top of my lungs. One thing we all are lucky enough to have in common is we still feel the side effectsand we're alive to talk about them. One that baffles me is I can rub my left cheek and it feels like I am rubbing my left ear. No not that cheek the one up by my throat.  I know I will never be able to enter any type of food eating contest but my ass is still above ground (Now I’m talking about the other cheek). If I go to the mall and get a chef salad for lunch it takes me an hour to eat it. People want to take me to lunch and talk business and I tell them if you want me to talk and eat, we may be there until dinner. Life is good and the boss and I are spending the kid’s inheritance money.

I’ve never been late for anything in my life.  I am always there at least 10 minutes before I am supposed to be. I have always said the only thing I will ever be late for is my funeral, and now I have lived up to those words.

Enjoy this fine Easter Sunday!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to run around the yard with the grandkids and help the smaller ones find Easter eggs………..why?………..because I can.

This venting thing ain't so bad

      Jeff

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

I would give a lot to be ale to roar- I got the name way back - I am a construction manager and was always yelling at contractors. I roared a few weeks back a regreted it for days after ward. Maybe I should change my name to email, because when I roar now I press the caps button.

NJShore's picture
NJShore
Posts: 411
Joined: Nov 2012

Roar,

My son and his new wife were over this weekend, my son and I went to the store together, and then entire time we were out I found myself grumbling about how negative Dan has been these past few months. I miss his happy smile when he walks into a room, full of ideas of how to spend a day.. and your post put everything back in to perspective for me... It reminded me of how it really was, and I realize how much he went through. That it's not time to be over yet. Thank you, you just made me a better caretaker this weekend.

When my Dad was alive and we would grumble, he'd have a special caring smile, where he would say, well lets all go out in the back yard, hold hands and yell "Ah Sh*t" as loud as we can.. and he'd always get giggles out of us.. So lets add to the H&N reunion a special trip to the back yard for us all!

Hope the spring and the sunshine break through the frustration and give you less frustration with it all...

Kari

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

Reading the replys lifted my spirit this Easter weekend. You guys are a really great group of people who I can relate with. It's a comforting feeling to know you are not alone and always have someone to talk to. Happy Easter everyone.

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

Strange how it works- we all feel a little better after sharing

MarineE5
Posts: 755
Joined: Dec 2005

Maybe you can vent by going to the Dojo and knock your friends around a bit Laughing.  I like the picture, it's been years since I had my Gi on.....

My Best to You and Everyone Here

Roar's picture
Roar
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2013

I enjoy helping the kids- it makes me feel good- I have to admit putting on the Gi lifts the spirit. I am the only one getting knocked around lately- but it's something to do other than work. I am just getting back into it since the crap hit the fan

Tim6003's picture
Tim6003
Posts: 1497
Joined: Nov 2011

Okay, Okay ...I just had to say it ..it was lying right there to be said!

 

Gald you can vent Roar ....like someone said above, we all get it and have all been there ....and we care.

 

Tim

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