Mar 28, 2013 - 10:29 pm
I am new to the forum and new to the lymphoma diagnosis. I just got diagnosed with follicular lymphoma, I am 36 years old and a single mother of a wonderful 8 year old boy. I am devastated by this, I am a very healthy woman and don't feel or look sick. At the same time, I have a slow growing cancer insidde me, that I have been told I have probably had for years before it has presented itself. While going through all the tests leading up to this diagnosis, I had a pretty good feeling about it being cancer. I kept hoping and praying that it wasn't. I feel guilty for this, but I am apparently vain and was more concerned about losing my hair, than anything else. I am now told by my oncologist that I won't lose my hair, but my cancer is uncurable....what a h@%% of a trade off.!!! I have a very good sense of humor about it, because what else can I do?? These are the cards I have been dealt. I feel guilty for being sick and having the people that care about me worry so much, I feel like it is my fault they worry. There are just some thoughts and feelings that I feel that only cancer survivors or fighters can relate to. My normal has become different, I have found that being sick is a full time job.
Sorry for going on and on, but since I am a single woman I feel like I have nobody to share my thoughts with and don't want to burden my friends or family.