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First time reaching out

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

I'm a new member and this is the first time I've reached out to other cancer survivors so I am flying blind here. I feel isolated and I want to know how others are coping with these same feelings of fear and the unknown. I was dignosised with breast cancer in November 2012. I had a lumpectomy in December and started chemo in January. I just had my fourth chemo on Tuesday and my neulasta shot on Wednesday so I'm having a woo is me party. I know it will get better but today I feel lost.

CypressCynthia's picture
CypressCynthia
Posts: 4017
Joined: Oct 2009

Welcome Laura!  I am so very sorry that you are going through this.  Breast cancer stinks but you have come to the right place.  Everyone here will welcome you and help. Your feelings are so normal.  You deserve to have a pity party.  Just don't forget to keep your boxing gloves on, so you can keep kicking cancer's butt!

And you will get through this.  Chemo is pretty awful, but you will have it behind yourself before you know it!  And I say this as a 26 year survivor!

I am sending you giant cyber hugs! 

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Wow, I can't believe how your kind words made me tear up.  I posted last night then went right to bed and I am feeling well enough to sit up and came to this site right away.  I didn't realize how much hearing from others would help.  Especially from someone who is a 26 year survivor and still supporting others.  I feel this is a place I can learn alot from.  Thank you.

Laura

aysemari's picture
aysemari
Posts: 1590
Joined: Dec 2009

I am going to repost our precious chenheart's post, I think it is the most amazing post

and makes you understand everything.  We have all been there and are here to support

you any way we can. You are NOT alone. This is a safe place to come and pour your heart

out as needed. It was my life line during my treatment, the only support I had and I am here

to tell the tale of these wonderful,courageous and compassionate ladies who took me under

their wing. One thing I would tell you is allow yourself to grief for your loss (in a way) of you

innocence. Time will be your best healer, just understand that fear and stress are a detrimental

use of your much needed energy. Pamper yourself and make plans for the future. You will get

through it and we will hold your hand along the way. Hugs, Ayse

 

So many new ones have joined our family of Kindred Spirits lately~we sigh that you have had to find us, but of course welcome you with open ♥

You may have noticed, or even posted about the fact that many of our friends, family members, co-workers and neighbors just don't "get it" and make what seem to be ( and sometimes ARE!) insensitive, rude, and dismissive comments about us and how we look, etc.

You don't know me well, but if you hang around the boards long enough,you will notice 2 things about me~I "steal" quotes that I like and apply them to our lives regularly, and I also liken our lives to books/movies! Who knew we would be Stars?! :-) And today, we are friends and schoolmates with no less than Harry Potter and Hermione and the entire gang!

So~ welcome to CSN, also known as Hogwarts~ the boarding school for witches and wizards! Like you, we were truly surprised when we realized that we would be leaving the lives we had known to enter a place so strange and unknown to us. Upon arriving, we were shocked to see how many witches and wizards already live here~ we thought it would be a tiny place, and that we would be isolated and alone. But No! Freshman, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors, along with a host of professors surrounded us. Though it was frightening being the new one, we looked to the upperclassmen, those graduating, wondering if we would ever survive the curriculum.

Eventually, we settled in, and made good friends with other witches and wizards! Turns out, it's alot like any old school, after all! We know who the smart ones are, the social butterflies, the competitive one, the shy ones, the troubled ones, etc. We come into "home room", say hello to everyone, and hang out with our friends!

Our aforementioned families/friends/coworkers who don't "get it" are, of course, The Muggles. It isn't their fault~they are not part of the Hogwart student body and they really don't know quite how to relate to us. They look at us through different eyes, they are a bit afraid of us, puzzled by changes they see in us, and they want us back the way we were BEFORE we were tapped by the faculty at Hogwarts. Some of our Muggle family members are proud of the achievements we make, and they don't mind meeting our classmates. But some...well, they distance themselves and can't bring themselves to stay connected . It is discouraging...

So, take your seat here at Hogwarts! Know that those here with you are very much like you in ways you never imagined. You are indeed different, but that doesn't make you any less valuable. Educate yourself while you are here,and join in with the extra-curricular activities ! We exchange holiday ornaments, we celebrate birthdays, we visit each other, and most of all, we communicate and connect in important, life-long ways.

Oh, and feel free to borrow the notes and books you find here~ we are all willing to share what we learned in the previous semesters!! Asking questions and copying is actually encouraged!

Hugs,
Chen♥

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hello Aysemari,

Thank you for helping me with my freshman indoctrination.  Reading Chenheart's analogy of leaving a old world and entering a new world is so true.  I do feel like I just moved to a new place and I need to figure out the way things work now.  But I feel that I now have a wealth of knowledge that I never realized would be so important.  It really does help with the feeling of isolation knowing that so many have felt like I do now and that I don't have to let cancer define me.  I have a lot of posts to read so it's back to school for me.  Thank you again.

Laura

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

It is so difficult having to deal with an array of different emotions that can change hourly. And we know all too well about those parties. Just know WE know how you feel and what you are going through. Keep us posted. You'll feel the warmth of all the pink sisters here.

Hugs,

Sylvia

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi Sylvia,

Thank you for responding to my acknowledgement that I can't do this alone.  I thought I was doing so well, but deep down I think I knew I was trying to do this alone.  Not to say that I don't have wonderful support from my family but I haven't reached out to other cancer survivers.  These are the people who will understand me the best.  Thank you for your hug.

Laura

Josie21
Posts: 373
Joined: Nov 2012

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time right now.  Breast cancer could make even Wonder Woman fall to her knees. I wish that I would have found this site when I was first diagnosed. If you have questions, just ask.  If you need to vent, vent.  If you feel lost like you do right now, it's normal.  I am four years out and I am still nervous about the unknown.  Other non-cancer people don't understand this, but people here do.  And if you want to have a pity party, you go for it but then you have to get fighting again.  You can do this!!

Hugs,

Ginny

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi Ginny,

I am overwhelmed by all of the positive and supportive responses I've received from my reaching out.  And knowing that so many are still coming to this site to help newbies, well, it's amazing.  I think I have found a safe haven.  Thank you.

Laura

Josie21
Posts: 373
Joined: Nov 2012

Sorry double  post

missrenee's picture
missrenee
Posts: 2137
Joined: Apr 2010

Most of us have been where you are and know the fear and feelings of loss of control.  For me, this journey hasn't been easy, but it was certainly doable as I continue to fight this monster since Nov. '09.  I've been through multiple surgeries, chemo, radiation, etc.  I am now Stage 4, but I'm fighting just as hard and with as much hope and determination as ever.  Even though it's been difficult, there have been so many blessings in this journey and there will be for you too--I promise.

Life is beautiful, and God is great.  Hang in there--we're here to support you, listen to you rant, rave, cry, laugh, or just vent.

Hugs, Renee

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi Renee,

Thanks for the supportive words.  I have been reading losts of posts since I found this site a few days ago and I'm amazed at the camaraderie and love that is shared here.  It's also a good reality check to see how many people are fighting this disease and though they may have bad days or weeks, they still keep going.  It is really makes my battle, like you said, doable. 

Laura

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5584
Joined: Oct 2010

you found a great place...I didn't happen to come along until 2 yrs post cancer...

 

Many helpful suggestions-etc...from all on this board..

 

Denise

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi Denise,

You are right, I have found a great place.  I am learning so much by just reading posts that I feel less scared than before.  When I first found my lump, I was on the internet way too much, seeing and reading everything negative about breast cancer.  But this site is different, it's people reaching out for help, information, support, and giving it back in return.  It feels right.

Laura

VickiSam's picture
VickiSam
Posts: 8570
Joined: Aug 2009

Hoping you are doing better --  We are thinking and wishing you well.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

LauraKo
Posts: 13
Joined: Mar 2013

Hi Vicki Sam,

Yes, today I am feeling better physically and, most importantly, emotionality.  My treatment last week was physically tough and I think that contributed to my emotional drop in spirits.  But being on this site and reading so many positive comments has really helped me a lot.  Thanks for your kind words.

Laura

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