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It all about poorly focused anger

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 521
Joined: Nov 2011

You know all the drama that is going on on this board is poorly focused anger.

We are all angry at the disease we have and we so whole heartedly seek acceptance for our thoughts and practices we follow..

What we really want is the cure and we will believe what we want to believe to help us thru this journey. All we seek is truly support for the decisions we make..

Most of had no control regarding how we got put on this road.. but we want to believe we can controll the decisions we make that lead us down the road to either the end or the turn off.

I want to believe that the stories I have shared and antedotes I have added make a difference to someone..

We all want to help and not hurt anyone.. so do this easily ... other are so consumed by what they find that they cannot help but want to shout out they have found something .. whether good or bad... achievable or not achievable... available or not available.. They just want to make us think... make us realize there are options.. treatments, diets, supplement, vitamins and what have you.. maybe even exercise and yoga, meditation and prayer..

We all have something we become passionate about to help us thru our journey...

I believe it is fine to express your passions but just do so in non-offensive way.. that is all I ask... and hopefull all I put forth..

I love you all and if I ever find the cure or a factor that makes this journey easier.. I plan to share and I hope you do too...

Hang in there everyone..

-Donna 

janderson1964
Posts: 1501
Joined: Oct 2011

Very well said. What a great post. I hope EVERYONE reads this.

jen2012
Posts: 1184
Joined: Aug 2012

Absolutely wonderful post Donna. I decided to not reply to any more posts that relate to the bickering...but i couldnt let this go by without a thank you for your wise and kind words.

John23
Posts: 1832
Joined: Jan 2007

 

Re:

“……I love you all and if I ever find the cure or a factor that makes this journey easier.. I plan to share………”

 

The problem is, when someone actually does find something that’s worked and tries to share it, the doomsayers arrive in full force insisting that either they’re making it all up, or misunderstanding the real facts of why they got better.

 

I personally feel that no-one should be promoting things that they have not personally benefited from; reciting the industry’s hype is counterproductive to our goal of finding a treatment that actually works.

 

Cancer can change us subtly one minute, and dramatically the next, and always in ways that shock us. For some people, it can be the best excuse in the world to act mean and cruel (for me, I use it to get out of jury duty)

 

We really should take the time to understand, that sitting behind a computer screen protected by a firewall of anonymity, can bring out the worst in some folks….

 

The best thing anyone can do, is to ignore insults and offer a hand of kindness instead of a fist, but it’s probably the most difficult thing to do during a confrontation! (offering up a knuckle sandwich is so much easier).

 

It’s just another day at the ranch, Donna.

 

Be well!

 

John

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

The best thing anyone can do, is to ignore insults and offer a hand of kindness instead of a fist, but it’s probably the most difficult thing to do during a confrontation! (offering up a knuckle sandwich is so much easier).

John, wise words and your knuckle sandwich made be laugh ... I haven't hear that in a long time. -- Cynthia

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2171
Joined: Oct 2011

Given the stakes of what we are all facing, it's not surprising that emotions, both positve and negative, can run very high at times.  Hugs~AA

Coloncancerblows's picture
Coloncancerblows
Posts: 296
Joined: Feb 2013

Thank you Donna!

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

I too support passions and new ideas because it may lead me in a better way for myself or to care for my husband ... 

this is why I also support passions being expressed in a non-offensive way.  I can hear new ideas so much more clearly when presented objectively and respectfully.

If a post feels insulting ... my brain just moves from being receptive to defensive.  

Your respectful sharing does make a difference. -- Cynthia

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 521
Joined: Nov 2011

Thank you.. .I hope this post makes a difference..

Can't we all just get along... 

Obviously the message fell ot a deaf ear for one of the respondents - but that's ok.. you can't make the horse drink the water till they are ready..(I  am disapointed they chose to deminish this type of post - I can only imagine how they damage others.. sorry to have seen that.. I was really hurt - but I will just choose to ignore that person and not give any credit to them any further.. Knuckle that...)

love you all, and most of all RESPECT you all..

R-E-S-P-E-C-T ....

Donna

 

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

I think you were referring to John's comments that may have hurt you ...

Actually, I did not read his comments as meaning to diminish your posts ... I think those that have been on the board a long time have probably seen so many flames arise that they get a bit desensitized. Folks like me or you or others right now who are trying to encourage peace and harmony may seem a bit naive to them.  Now, that is not to say that I believe that ... but I do think the longer one stays on the board probably the harder it gets to remain optimistic that these things will not flare up again.

Just a thought. -- Cynthia

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4659
Joined: May 2005

The problem

It's being overanalyzed to death

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

to process through things than you do.  

That's ok with me.

-- Cynthia

AnnLouise's picture
AnnLouise
Posts: 276
Joined: Mar 2013

You put into words so much of what I have been thinking.....I hope everyone reads your post and takes it to heart. So many of us are in the midst of treatment and crucial decisions so I hope this board continues to be supportive and informative  in a loving, caring way. Thank you to those who have welcomed me and been supportive. I admire those who are NED and still are there for us who are not (yet). For those of you who have not shared or looked over the topics Pets or show ourselves, they have put a smile on my face and has been a wonderful diversion from some of the recent posts. Thank you again, Donna!    -~ Ann

dmj101's picture
dmj101
Posts: 521
Joined: Nov 2011

WOW!!

I hope Pete will not be mad at me for making this statement... but he sent me a private message.. and I want to let you all know.. I think we hurt him as much as we felt hurt..

All he every really wanted was acceptance for his choices... Not much different from what any of us want... right?

This makes me feel the bully was bullyied...

I am so sorry for Pete that he lost controll and those who should have understood him the most ran him off.. me included.. I am not feeling good about this at all.. I hope he accepts this appology should he be lurking..

This is a public forum ... I am sorry ... and I hope we have all learned something something called ACCEPTANCE....

Your Friend Forever (you are all stuck with me) -Donna

 

 

Varmint5's picture
Varmint5
Posts: 371
Joined: Feb 2012

Like you, I don't like anybody being bullied, least of all - me. Or my daughter. Or my grandson. And I don't like it when I am the bully. But I have to tell you, my daughter having this disease has brought out in me some anger (lots of anger) and sometimes it gets directed wherever. I try not to bring it to this board. Usually it's my husband that gets it. I have shut out my friends and isolated myself. That needs to change. But I am so afraid of being snippy with them (actually, I have, and hurt their feelings). So I just hunker down and stew and worry.

Anyway - good post, and you set a good example. I have nothing against Pete, and I wasn't going to join the ruckus. I like Pete. I don't really read his posts or the responses because they don't apply to me and are many times too long for me to read in my limited free time. We are not going to Germany. Period. My daughter has a new baby. She just wants to be a wife and mommy. I just want her to live.

Pete, if you're there, I hope you stay. I like the idea of the subject showing "CAM" as suggested. (For complementary, alternative, something like that...?) That way, people not interested in alternatives can avoid the topic. But you have to know that people might respond in disagreement, especially if your tone leans toward confrontational or insulting.

I have never meant to hurt anybody's feelings here. I have had mine hurt a couple of times. I've felt my intelligence was questioned. I don't like it. Nobody does.

Onward and upward. We're good people here, trying to learn, support, get by and not feel so alone.

Sandy

wawaju04976's picture
wawaju04976
Posts: 316
Joined: Dec 2012

Thank you, Donna. I miss Pete's posts. I didn't comment about anything during that time, but I would have left too if If was him. Good for you for apologizing to him openly. Again, all should fee free to post their tx, and remember, most of your alternatives won't have any "studies" done on them by the powers that be.

Judy

Dyanclark's picture
Dyanclark
Posts: 245
Joined: Apr 2012

Well said Donna.

Now everyone tell  your friends & realatives to be sure & get their colonoscopy.   I believe they should start as early as 20 then every 10 years until 40, then every 5 years.  If there is a family history every five years after 30.   This cancer is taking to many lives. 

Let us know how the Vectibix with Xeloda is working.   George is having a blood test Thurs, and if CEA goes up we will insist Dr. add Xeloda.

George & DianeSurprisedKiss

 

k44454445's picture
k44454445
Posts: 494
Joined: Jul 2012

thank you

hugs

judy

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