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How to say thank you to Mom?

lilacbrroller's picture
lilacbrroller
Posts: 239
Joined: Jun 2012

On the topic of caregivers, my Mom is Gibraltar.   This is going to be a tough week for our family - my younger brother goes in for his first colonoscopy, I'm seeing a surgeon, and so is my father who will be having open heart surgery. And who is supporting all of us, emotionally and driving us to appointments?  Mom!  (We all don't live together - my brother and I live on our own, but we're all within 15 miles of each other)

I want to do something nice for her, well a lot of nice things for her, and I ask her if I can do xx, take her yy, and she always says no. Flowers? No. Massage appointment. No. I do tell her how wonderful she is, a lot.  

Any suggestions on what to do to say thank you, and just do something nice? 

thanks

Karin

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 980
Joined: Jan 2013

I'd say don't ask your mother what you can do, just pick something that you know she will like - dinner out. Flowers. A walk in the park - and go get her one day.

You know that love really is the best answer, and if all she needs is an ear and a hug from her daughter, then that would be good too. 

I've just been to visit my mother-in-law, who got out of hospital yesterday (heart problems) and I know the hug and being there was a great lift to her. 

Sometimes its just the simple things. 

You all have so much on your plate, my heart goes out to all of you.

Blessings!

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1129
Joined: Apr 2009

As a Mom, I think it's a built in response to not want to inconveninience or rely on our children for anything. After all, we're the "Mom". But you darn well better believe how much we appreciate your love and offers of help.

When my Mom was alive, we spent some of our most fun times together going shopping and just having lunch. With all that's she's got on her mind right now, she may not feel like shopping, but a nice quiet lunch might be a thought.

Luv,

Wolfen

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 2826
Joined: Jan 2010

Not knowing your Mom or the size of your busget, here are some random thoughts on what to give that special caregiver:

If she is a reader, how about a book (or book store certificate) to help with those hours spent sitting waiting...or if budget allows a Kindle or other device to download books or movies.

If she routinely gets her nails done or her hair fixed, how about a gift certificate to her fav salon.

If she has a hobby like gardening, how about some gadget to help her with that or some seedlings as spring approaches.

If her hobby is more indoors oriented like kniting or crocheting, how about a gift certificate to her fav store for supplies.

If she likes KnickKnacks, there are lots of places on-line where you can order items with custom thoughts or sayings to express your love and geatfulness for having her as a Mom.

If she has lots of errands to run, perhaps for a weekend you and others could form a "let us be your driver" team.  Take her where she needs to go and help her with any packages or things she might be picking up.

If she likes music, how about an IPod or other device with a gift certificate to download tunes.  Don't forget the earphones, so she can tune in to her favs at hospital or doc offices while waiting.

How about a letter from you to her expressing all your feelings for all she does?

Hope something on this list is a fit or gives you a idea of what you can do for such a wonderful lady.

Marie who loves kitties

Lorikat's picture
Lorikat
Posts: 548
Joined: Jul 2011

I feel incredibly special when my son or daughter call and ask me to havecoffee hour with them. They are VERY different people, so Starbucks with mydaughter and the neighborhood cafe with my son.  TIME is so appreciated....

Fucc
Posts: 82
Joined: Sep 2012

I think the greatest gift you can give your mom is your time. After being diagnosed with this disease, it is the one thing I need from those around me and I know mom my appreciates any time i can spend with her. How about a nice lunch, high tea or a coffee.  Try not to talk about all of the stressful stuff going on and create new memories. 

ketziah35
Posts: 1122
Joined: Jun 2010

In my. Family, when one is a long term caregiver such as a 10 year experience with an Alzheimer patient, we wait for a window of opportunity and pitch in for that person to take a 3 to 4 day trip and take care of the patient for them. Just a little break for them.

 We chip pin ton pay for the trip and chip in to take care of the patient. This seems to be a hit in my family.  We usually send them to the mountains or the breach. Somewhere where they can so things I'd they want or just sit and chill with the scenery to relax.

All in all I think they appreciate a couple off days of not having to run around and to get some complete rest.

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

I am printing this out to save.  There are very thoughtful ideas here that can be done for many that we care about or wish to let know we are grateful. Thank you. -- Cynthia

 

PS lilacbrroller: Did you actually see and take a picture of that incredibly beautiful bird?

lilacbrroller's picture
lilacbrroller
Posts: 239
Joined: Jun 2012

thanks, all for the great ideas.  Anything for Mom!!  she is the bestWink

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

For my Mom, who was 75, I made her a little booklet titled "75 Reasons Why you're the Best" amd on each page I wrote a sentence of something I loved about her. For example, "I love the way your eyes twinkle when you're happy" and "Remember how hard we laughed when we got lost in Cape Cod?" and "Thanks for putting up with me when I was a rotten teenager".......things of that nature.

I wrote things all these down, gave it to her.....and she cried.

She's gone now...and I now have that little priceless book, chock-full of memories of my special Mother.

Good luck with your surgery!!!!

Tommycat

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 980
Joined: Jan 2013

What a FANTSTIC idea. 

How good your mother must have felt knowing that you had rememberd so much, knowing that you loved her so much.

There is no better feeling better than knowing that you are loved. 

My parents have passed many years now, but my Mother-in-Law is going to be 84 in few weeks. I am going to steal this wonderful idea and make a booklet for her. She has been in hospital this week, and is qutie fraill, but a better Mother-in-Law could not be found anywhere. 

Thank you Tommycat!

Coloncancerblows's picture
Coloncancerblows
Posts: 296
Joined: Feb 2013

I love your idea Tommycat!

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4658
Joined: May 2005

I should have done that sooner. My Mom's 93... Too much writing :-)

So many wonderful ideas have been given. Mom's ROCK!

 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 980
Joined: Jan 2013

I was thinking the same thing about my 84 about to be 85 year olf MIL.  I've decided to include my boys, so we'll all come up with something.

joemetz's picture
joemetz
Posts: 493
Joined: Nov 2011

1. a heartfelt letter, written by you, that shares just how much you care for her and how much she means to you. tell her how great she is, how she made your life better and that she's the best mom in the world.

2. time. spend face to face time with her.

3. breakfast or lunch.  meet her regularly and pic a special spot or special places to go. it doesn't have to be expensive.

4. a card in the mail now and again.

5. the best hugs and kisses you've ever given her.

 

if John Lennon where here.... Love. Love. Love. All you need is love.

 

 

fighting_ big_c's picture
fighting_ big_c
Posts: 59
Joined: Mar 2013

God Bless all mothers. I hope you find the perfect gift/token to give  your mother. I bet anything would be good as long as it comes from the heart. Good luck with that.

 

devotion10's picture
devotion10
Posts: 642
Joined: Jan 2010

I got one of these for my Mother and cover the charges monthly; sometimes folks can put it on their family plan.  I got the least expensive voice plan because she does not often use it to talk. Since most of her children do not live in the same state we try to send her daily text messages and photos.  I am her tutor and since she is 93 I do have to sometimes remind her how to open the text messages ... but she starts her day looking at the little messages and also checks her phone throughout the day for pictures.  It is funny to think of my 93 year old Mom out somewhere when I call her answering her cell phone. Wink -- Cynthia

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