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Coping with anniversaries and reminders.

amandapaigelee's picture
amandapaigelee
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2013

My father passed away 2 years ago, March 1, 2011. I'm now 20 years old, trying to get through college, but it seems I cant even get through the days anymore. My grades have slipped, my motivation has evaporated. Everything I ever knew died with my father, shortly after my 18th birthday. It just never leaves me alone. Anniversary of his death, his birthday, his diagnosis date, Fathers day, on and on and on. I'm just looking to talk to people that understand. Most my friends, being 18-24, really havent ever gone through a serious loss..

jen2012
Posts: 1251
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Amanda,

I'm surprised I even saw your post. I never visit this specific part of the discussion board.  Maybe your name just jumped out at me as I was scrolling - my daughter's name is Amanda.

I'm very sorry about your dad.  My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer in August 2012.   I see from your profile that your dad had the same.  It's a horrible, heartbreaking disease.  You sound like you were very close with your dad.  I'm sure your dad would never want you to be this sad. I know it's hard to control and it's just so unfair but you have to try to get on with things.   Coming here was a good idea - though it doesn't seem like this part of the board gets much visitation.  I would suggest posting in  the emotional support area or even the colon/rectal board - many people still post there that have lost a loved one and could understand and  help you with your grief.    How is your mom dealing with things?

Please keep posting and look at the other boards too that are more active so you will get more response. 

Hugs!

 

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

I'm sorry you lost your dad to colon cancer. I lost my husband to colon cancer over three years ago. It is hard to deal with loss even when you are my age which is much older than 20. I think sometimes we expect too much of ourselves in this fast paced world. People around us think that we should just get over it already. Well, that doesn't happen. We miss those special people in our lives always. Time helps, but it doesn't stop us from feeling the loss daily. We do need to find ways to move forward. Often, we need help to do so. You might want to consider counseling to help you find your way. All those special days you mentioned are hard. I had a lady who lost her husband over 50 years ago tell me that she still struggles on their anniversary. So, you are not alone. I would encourage you to post on the grief and bereavement board and also look through some of the posts there. Many have lost a father and many are from younger people. Take care, Fay

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