Feb 22, 2013 - 2:52 pm
Hello, I am new to this network and have been very inspired by all of the prior posts and advice everyone so kindly offers.
My boyfriend is 29 years old... we've been together about a year and a half. When I first met him he told me that he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer in 2010 and it was surgically removed, leaving him "cancer free". He was supposed to follow up with diagnostic checkups every 6 months however lost his job - and health insurance. When I met him in 2011, he was still unemployed. Once he was able to find work - I begged him every month to schedule his CT scan and he kept saying he felt fine, and that I shouldn't worry. Finally around the holidays I told him the only thing I wanted as a gift was for him to go to the doctor. He did .... and they discovered the cancer spread up to a lymph node in his abdomen. We were both devastated.
I've never had someone this close to me diagnosed with cancer and I am on this emotional rollercoaster of trying to be supportive and positive when I really just want to cry. I love him more than anything. I try to think of all the positives ...like the fact that he is Stage 2...and the oncologist says it is 'curable'....but this process of chemotherapy has been so challenging. I work full time and pay all our living expenses and his medication. I worry all the time about how he is feeling when I am not able to go to treatment with him. I feel like I have an elephant on my chest all the time.
Earlier in the week his hair started falling out in clumps. He broke down crying....just because the reality of this hit him even more. I am finding it hard to figure out the right things to say... especially because his spirit is so down ...he views chemotherapy as 'poisoning his body' and I keep begging him to think different and that it is killing the cancer. Pre-diagnosis he was always at the gym and eating healthy... to him the chemo is just poison.
How do I help him change his attitude and become a warrior to fight this disease? I love him SOOO MUCH- I need him to get better so we can have a happy future and do all the things we've always planned planned like marriage and starting a family. I know that our situation w/ his diagnosis compared to others is very fortunate . I just need to find a way to help be a cheerleader for both him and myself...
Thank you for letting me vent...