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A problem complicating things

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Thanks for all your comments. I have not been on in a while becasue i am still at that stage where I get freaked out when I hear of someone getting a reoccurance or worse. I have been seeing a therapist and I think it helps. I am hoping I will be that 30% that do not reoccure or only once. There is a woman, Helen on one of the other sites that I visit that was diagnosed in 1987 and then had one reoccurance in 1992. Whe has been cancer free ever since and she had Stage 3C. I met another woman a few weeks ago who has been cancer free from Stage 3c for 27 years.

One of my problems is that not only am I going through treatment and this scary diagnosis is that just before I got sick I was planning on leaving my husband. I hope this is not too much information. When this happend to me my plans had to change. At first he was good and seemed like he was there for me. Now he is not as supportive and I see the old personality and behaviors coming out that I do not like. I believe my husband has a Narcistic Personality Disorder. ARE THERE ANY GALS OUT THERE GOING THROUGH THIS AS A SINGLE? Sometimes I think it would be easier and less stressfull on me to worry about just me. Then I have to worry if I have a reoccurance who will take me to my treatments?

Sorry about all the personal information. I needed to vent about it.

SHANNON1231's picture
SHANNON1231
Posts: 53
Joined: Nov 2012

I understand where your coming from, and have definitly thought about that in the past also. I have 2 young boys and that really makes my decision even harder so I live thru them and just try to make them as happy as possible. Maybe try surrounding yourself with family and friends that love you, and it will help you with your decision.  Everyone's future is uncertain, whether they have cancer or not. So you have to be happy now and not be surrounded by negetivity.

sandyinmi
Posts: 17
Joined: Jan 2012

and really have very little family. My friends have been just incredibly supportive during this time. There are always volunteers to take me to treatment...I find it is one of the things that people think they should do. Also, the American Cancer Society has a program - they will take you to treatment if you want. FYI I am 60, and had 7 chemo sessions after my surgery last January.

Only you can make the decision about your husband. Good luck.

Sandy

Glad to be done's picture
Glad to be done
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2012

I'm sorry you are having a rough time.  As if having cancer is not stressful enough for you.  I can't even imagine the stress you must be under. 

I wanted to let you know we are in the process of relocating to the New England area.  We always planned to move there when our youngest graduated from high school.  After getting over my cancer we asked ourselves "what are we waiting for".  WE talked to the boys about how they felt about changing schools and all and although they will miss their friends they want to do it.  We all want to be around family.  My parents are in Florida and my brother in Chicago but my husbands family is all in New England.  My inlaws live in Maine and and his grandparents live in MA.  We will be living in New Hampshire.  As I type this my husband is on his way there for a job interview.  I will keep you posted on everything.

 I hope you can make a decision and be at peace with the husband situation.  Nobody can tell you what to do.  That is one decision that you personally need to make on your own.  We will be here for support...

Eileen

 

 

 

 

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Eileen: Thanks for writing. Yes, it has been rough especially with my home situation. I am not making any decisions now because I have to concentrate on my treatment and beginning the 6th cycle of chemo do not have the energy.

I am happy that you are moving up here. It is very important to have family around. My mom and sister live in Connecticut. It is 7 hours away but I make sure that I go see them for long weekends often. Well, before cancer. I did get down there a couple of times since I have been in treatment. My last Chemo is March 6th and I plan on going down for a visit for 10 days the end of March.

Do you know where in New Hampshire you are looking to live?  I live in Maine as you know but only 10 miles from the New Hampshire boarder.

 

Pam

 

Glad to be done's picture
Glad to be done
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2012

We are not sure exactly where yet.  We really like the oyster river school district.  They have everything the boys are into.  My husband got offered a fantastic job with advancement  in6 weeks when he is up to speed in Manchester nh.  Since our home search is geared around this school we could land in mad bury, Lee, or Durham.  I am not sure how close that is to the Maine border.  

the boys and I are at my in-laws this week visiting because we are off of school for February break.  My husband is down working and we are meeting up with him onfriday to head home. 

How are things with you?  How are you feeling?  I am so happy for you that your last treatment is right around the corner.  Keep fighting...

I will keep you posted on our move.  

Eileen

 

 

ptharp
Posts: 190
Joined: Oct 2012

Hi Eileen: The area you are looking to move to is a nice area. There is a lot to do there and pretty good shopping. You have outlets in Tilton, NH. There is a really great mall in Salem, NH and you are not far from Boston where there is also lots to do, not to mention great hospitals and Oncologists. I am sure you looked into that already.

The area you are talking about is 2 hours 45 minutes from me. That is doable if we meet halfway and meet for lunch. It is doable for me if we want to do the shopping thing. I could still drive home but if I am too tried I can get a room.

I am on Cycle 6. There are three weeks and I am on the first week. I have two more treatments left. It started getting rough around Cycle 5. This week is Carbo and Taxol so I will be nauseas for about 4 of 5 days and when the steriods stop on Saturday I will feel like I can't breath and have no energy for about 4 or 5 days. I hate this week. My blood counts are really low. I was suppose to have 2 pints of blood yesterday but because my hemoglobin came up slightly they decided not give them to me. I drove all the way to Portland Me which is almost a 2 hour drive on Monday to give blood so the could type and cross match. I am aggravated about that wasted trip. My daughter drove me down. I am told if my numbers tank again I have to do it again because they cannot hold the blood for more than three days. I saw the Oncologist yesterday and he said there are some risks with getting blood that he does not want to expose me to if he does not have to. I did have the opportunity to have more discussions with him about my surgery and pathology report. He said because I am Stage 3C there are some positives. He told me first that he was able to do better than optimal debulking which is getting everything except for 1CM or less which you can see with a human eye. He told me he considers getting it all. He could not see anything left with his eye. My tumor was encapsulated. The one bad thing is it was sitting on a lymphnode that tested positive for cancer but only one lymphnode which I guess is better than more, right? Otherwise there would be more avenues for the cancer to enter. The other thing that I did not know is my pelvic wash was clean. Does that mean there was no cancer just in my pelvis only and not the abdomen. That is my next question to him in 3 weeks. The Oncologist said all this with my young age and good overall health puts me in a good position. He said if he could take all his OVC patients and separate them into piles he would put me in the pile with the best chance of going into long term remission or beating this. That was encouraging to me. The Oncolgist also said the treatment I am receiving is the one with the best outcomes per trials. so I left in a little better positive frame of mine.

Keep me posted on your move. My personal email is pamalaraye@hotmail.com. Feel free to use it.

Pam

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