Jan 27, 2013 - 6:45 pm
There are days when I feel so fatigued. When I got up on Friday and Saturday, my body felt like it weighed 500 pounds. On Thursday I went to the hike with my cancer support group, then had my hair cut and colored and went to do some shopping. I had looked forward to the day. I went into Macy's for less than an hour and felt tired. I wanted to stop at a little antique shop I heard about but when I got there I kept going because I just wanted to get home. I waa in San Jose and I live 30 miles south.
When I got home, I chatted with my mom for a few minutes and told her I was so tired I didn't feel like moving my lips when I spoke. I went to my bedroom and got under the covers. It was four o'clock.
And the question is.....
Can the cancer be making me feel this way? The tumor is not very large although it has been growing, according to my CA 125 results. I started a new medication (Femara) on Tuesday. Of course it could be my age, too. Never mind, girls!
I hate giving in to illness and I don't like to play the cancer card. Then again I am the only one who knows how I feel. I feel guilty when I pamper myself but I don't have anyone to answer to so it shouldn't matter. I am afraid of letting the cancer become a crutch. I haven't so far. At times I think I do the opposite and push myself as if the cancer isn't there. I don't have symptoms so it's like it isn't there. That is the strange part. I have cancer but am in much better shape than most people in my life. Of course that is good news but maybe that is the reason I feel guilty because everyone around me has illnesses that seem more severe. My mom has rheumatoid arthritis, my cousin has many life-threatening health issues and a friend has diabetes all of which effect their daily lives much more than my illness does at the present time.
I kind of got off the subject but I plan to ask my oncologist as well about the effects of the actual cancer. In hindsight being tired was one of the symtoms I had and didn't really relate to anything at that time. I remember looking at my bed as I left for work each morning thinking I couldn't wait to get back to it. By the time I was diagnosed, I couldn't get out of bed. Of course I am not in that condition right now but it does cause me concern.
Thanks for letting me ramble, ladies. There are so many questions each day that no one can really answer, even our doctors.