Jan 21, 2013 - 3:13 pm
I came over to this board to get a sense of what caregivers deal with when a loved one is diagnosed. What I'm reading does not surprise me but it does make me sad. I've been diagnosed with Head and Neck Cancer Tx N2b, MO Stage IV. I've already had surgery (tonsillectomy and biopsies) but I've yet to begin treatment. I'm scheduled for more surgery to remove the tumor and try again to locate the primary site. I know from the Head and Neck forum it's going to be hell.
I met my partner in life just two short years ago and she is a blessing beyond anything I ever thought I be blessed with in life. She has enough hope and positive attitude for ten people. I'm afraid if things don't go well, this will destroy her. She's a strong woman but.....
How do those with this ugly disease deal with the ordeal they're putting their caregiver through? I hate to have her see me get so sick. And then there's the prognosis, which statistically isn't great. Don't get me wrong, I want to be the exception as opposed to the rule but that's still in the back of my mind.
I asked her to join the site and she has but hasn't posted nor really spent any time here. Perhaps it's denial or that she doesn't want to face the reality of what's going on but I'm afraid this is going to hit her upside the head and she's not prepared. She feels a bit self conscience because of a language barrier. She Spanish and her English, while very good, is not where she would want it to be. I happen to be enamoured by her accent. In fact, she even "writes" with an accent and that's what I found so charming when we met and were exchanging emails. Believe me... it's very good to be a "Papi" :) What can I do to help her prepare for the roller coaster ride? How can I help her help herself throughout the process?
Any advice would be appreciated.