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is my mom gonna die soon?

Rella1
Posts: 5
Joined: Jan 2013

i feel like my mom may die soon because yesterday she told me she felt like shes gonna die and also a week before that my dad said something like that. but no ones really telling me if shes gonna die soon  i guess because im just a teenager but she has stage 4 breast cancer i think and can someone tell me the signs of death?? like  if someones gonna die in the next month?

SIROD's picture
SIROD
Posts: 2167
Joined: Jun 2010

Stage IV Rella1, is treatable but not cureable and those with this stage will eventually die from this disease.  There is at this time no cure, they can treat a lot of us for a long time.  It depends on the type of breast cancer your mom has, how long she has been treated, how she is responding to the treatment.  One size doesn't fit all in this case.

Your old enough to inquire about your mother's health situation and you should have answers.  Ask both your mom and your dad to inform and share with you on what is happening.

Stage IV is not an immediate death sentence and sometimes the treatments make you feel like you are dying when you are not.

Please ask your parents to share with you on where your mom is in this journey with breast cancer.

Keep in touch and let us know if you have more questions.

Wishing you, your mom and dad the best,

Doris

 

 

McMarty's picture
McMarty
Posts: 200
Joined: Nov 2012

Rella1,  I am so sorry you are going throught this and feeling so alone.  Please tell your parents about how you are feeling and ask them for straight answers.  The truth, no matter what it is, is easier to deal with than the fears running loose in your head.  Don't read too much into comments people make, like 'I feel like I'm dying'.  They may be exaggerating and not know how much those comments are scaring you. 

TELL THEM how you are feeling and ask them for some STRAIGHT TALK.  It's all easier to deal with as a team.  Sometimes grown ups just get busy and forget how smart you kids are! 

Please keep us posted, we are here for you and will help you if we can!

Gabe N Abby Mom's picture
Gabe N Abby Mom
Posts: 2415
Joined: Sep 2010

Rella,  I have always (well, since my diagnosis) thought that it is harder to watch and support someone through all this, than it is to be the person with cancer.  I am sorry you are in that position and have the need for us.

I do agree with the others, you should try and get some straight answers from your parents.  As an alternative (If for some reason your parents can't or won't talk with you.) ask if you can get permission to talk directly with your mom's oncologist.  If that happens, be prepared with a list of questions.  And ask for a long appointment so the doc isn't rushed.

Something else I would recommend is a support group for yourself of other teenagers going through similar situations.  A counselor at school or at the cancer center should be able to help you find a group.  Regardless, I suggest you talk with the counselor at school...there might be other resources in your commonity I'm not aware of.  Finally, if you are under 16, I strongly suggest you research Camp Kessem in your area.  It is a week long camp for kids who have a parent with cancer.  My daughter found it to be very fun and very helpful.  It also sparked some really good conversations between the two of us.  She is going again this year.

Cancer is so hard on everyone.  I hope this helps.

Hugs,

Linda

 

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5385
Joined: Oct 2010

so sorry you are going through this!!!!!!!! I am not sure how old other then teenager...as hard as it may be with your parents not telling you everything I am sure (from a mom point of view) they are trying to protect you from pain. They are not meaning to hurt or leave you out in any way..

 

Denise

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5385
Joined: Oct 2010

so sorry you are going through this!!!!!!!! I am not sure how old other then teenager...as hard as it may be with your parents not telling you everything I am sure (from a mom point of view) they are trying to protect you from pain. They are not meaning to hurt or leave you out in any way..

 

Denise

Lynn Smith
Posts: 1265
Joined: Mar 2011

They shouldn'nt be talking that way for you to hear but sit down with you and talk. I'm sure they didn't know you heard"She's going to die"Get your parents together and ask them what's going on.Tell them you heard that and want do know how serious it is, You're at least 13 being a teenager and old enough to understand and have some time to prepare even though it will be hard.You don't want it to spring on you suddenly and your parents should understand.  

I had a friend who was Stage 4 and she lived 12 years,Passed away at 63.We all wished she could make it longer but she never got well enough to have a bone marrow transplant. Her sister was going to be the donor. 

Hope you find out something soon.Pleass let us know.Your mom is in our praysers that she  gets better soon.

Lynn Smith  

PennyJ's picture
PennyJ
Posts: 31
Joined: Dec 2012

I have been thinking of you and your family and hope that you have been able to get some support and some answers.

disneyfan2008
Posts: 5385
Joined: Oct 2010

HELLO

 

just checking back in to see how things are going...?

 

Denise

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