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cancer care givers?

bugs_mommy
Posts: 24
Joined: Dec 2012

hi, have any of u been a cancer caregiver well wondering if any of u had to take care of someone at home? what mean is my husbands wishes are to die peacfully at home he want life support just meds to make him confy at home. now respect his wishes but was told this is a lot to take on for the care giver, in ur opinions what should do? and what is best for both my husband and ? 

-janelle

saratarrus
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2011

Dear Janelle;

My name is Sara. i have been a cancer caregiver very recently. My husband died on January 2 ond from a brain cancer. He was at the hospital for 17 days on November and then we decided to take him home. That was for a while a difficult decision. He needed to be taken care of for almost everything and that has been not easy. We have had a lot of support from our health national system, that weekly sent us a team of doctor, nurse and psychologist to help us take care of him and of us also. We made turns as I have two kids also, and my mother -in-law and myself have been a good team. We have been close to him and we have taken care of him. It is amazing how strong you get once the decision has been taken. We needed to prepare a little bit the house (special bed , medications, oxygen...) and to organize ourselves. Then, everything worked fine. It is possible. It is good for you and for him. If there is anything I can help with, just tell me. Thanks

(Forgive my english, I am spanish).

saratarrus
Posts: 3
Joined: Aug 2011

Dear Janelle;

My name is Sara. i have been a cancer caregiver very recently. My husband died on January 2 ond from a brain cancer. He was at the hospital for 17 days on November and then we decided to take him home. That was for a while a difficult decision. He needed to be taken care of for almost everything and that has been not easy. We have had a lot of support from our health national system, that weekly sent us a team of doctor, nurse and psychologist to help us take care of him and of us also. We made turns as I have two kids also, and my mother -in-law and myself have been a good team. We have been close to him and we have taken care of him. It is amazing how strong you get once the decision has been taken. We needed to prepare a little bit the house (special bed , medications, oxygen...) and to organize ourselves. Then, everything worked fine. It is possible. It is good for you and for him. If there is anything I can help with, just tell me. Thanks

(Forgive my english, I am spanish).

jalu
Posts: 58
Joined: Jan 2013

...would be at least a good place to start.  When my Mother was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery, many of the aides that worked with the nurses told me that they could be hired for home care and that I needed to contact the hospital's community support department and they would help us.  Luckily -- at the time -- she was able to come home and didn't need that home care.  Course -- that was then -- this is now.  She is dying of brain metastasis.  Good luck.  

bugs_mommy
Posts: 24
Joined: Dec 2012

thanx , but sat down with the in laws and doctor and scocial support worker and was told that the care my husband needs is too demanding and it would be in his best interest to stay in the hospital or in a local hospice, think we have agreed to put him in the hospice, we also have 2 girls :) so it would be easier on all of us, it will be hard at first but if its better for my husband then that is what we will do for him :) as much as want him home it is not possible to do so :( but at least know he will be taken good care of and we can come and go as we please :)

jalu
Posts: 58
Joined: Jan 2013

Hospice care will provide SO MUCH support for both your husband and you and your children.  Don't hesitate to ask for anything.  Like you say -- HE WILL BE TAKEN GOOD CARE OF and that is so true!  They are your angels.  I HATE the reality of cancer -- the odds are so against us.  I know that the time I have left with my Mother is short.  I'm sure our hospice days are coming soon. Take care of yourself -- I'm sorry.  Rest assured you have made the RIGHT DECISION.  And -- you are not alone!

bugs_mommy
Posts: 24
Joined: Dec 2012

thank u 'jalu' i really do hope i am making the right decision... i just didnt think i would ever have to think of doing something like this to my husband so soon... we have been together for 5 year and married 2 :( im only 25 and he is 29..this isnt fair at all.

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