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Terrified

me_and_my_mom
Posts: 44
Joined: Dec 2012

Tomorrow my mother meets w/ the medical oncologist for the first time to discuss last week in the ER, said she had a 20 cm tumor, looks like it's coming off of her ovary, looks cancerous, most likely advanced. She has a lot of ascites. The surgeon has already said surgery is not an option right now due to the extent of the disease. She had a chest cat scan, but was not given any results yet. They did a biopsy of her tumor through her belly button, and preliminary results did indicate cancer, though they said they wouldn't tx until final results are in, hopefully before her appt tomorrow afternoon.

I am TERRIFIED of what they are going to tell us. I am assuming she is stage 4, does it even sound possible she could be stage 3? I am terrified they are going to say it is so advanced that they aren't going to treat her at all. I am terrified they are going to say it is in her lungs, in her liver, in her brain - everywhere. I am terrified they are going to give her just days to live. I have never been so scared in all my life. I am spending entirely too much time googling oc, trying to find some silver lining, and I can't find one. This board is my lifeline right now, and I am constantly searching through reassuring posts, which has been helpful. A tiny part of me keeps thinking it's all a mistake, and maybe it's some rare benign syndrome or something. Part of me is looking for a miracle.

20 centemeters? is that unusually huge? Does that necessarily mean it's more advanced?

I don't know how I am going to make it through tomorrow. I really don't. Thanks for listening.

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1248
Joined: Jun 2010

but try to take it a step at a time. You are having so much information thrown at you and not a lot of answers. I had a total of 8 liters of ascites removed on two separate occasions which gave me wonderful relief. At my first meeting with my surgeon he told me I had to have chemo before surgery because of the extent of the cancer. He said if I operate now I would just have to close you up. He said the chemo works 90% of the time to decrease the cancer. I was diagnosed as Stage IIIc because it had not spread ourside that area. Luckily the chemo worked and I had debulking surgery. The cancer was on both ovaries, appendix and fallopian tubes. I had more chemo after.

I think my story is fairly common amongst the women here. It is such a scary time but know we are here for you. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

me_and_my_mom
Posts: 44
Joined: Dec 2012

Thank you Karen. Just thank you. Your response gives me hope. We just need to get through tomorrow - you are right, one day at a time.

Carol

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1086
Joined: Jul 2012

Carol, I know that it's very scary and unsettling. But don't panic.
It sounds like advanced ovarian cancer(stage 3C) if it has not spread beyond her abdomen.
Ascites could be tapped to make your mom more comfortable. I had it tapped twice before starting chemo (1.7 liters + 3 liters). Because of the large tumor size (20cm is large) she will have to undergo 3-4 rounds of chemo to shrink it before debulking surgery.
Most of women (>80%) respond well to initial chemo. My tumor (9cm) and mets to peritoneum and omentum disappeared completely after 4 rounds of Taxol / Carboplatin chemo and were not present at time of surgery. After surgery she will have to get 3-4 more rounds of chemo to get rid of microscopic cells if debulking was optimal or of whatever was left if it was not.
There are women on this board who were diagnosed in stage 4 and yet were successfully treated.
I wish you and your mom lots of strength and patience.
Ask questions and write everything down when you meet with the doctor.

Hugs,
Alexandra

Lisa13Q's picture
Lisa13Q
Posts: 683
Joined: Jul 2009

Of course you are frightened...having a diagnosis of cancer is scary....BUT you will survive the meeting...I promise. Bring a pad and pencil and write down any questions you have bfore you go in....then bring the notes you tke here as well and the ladies can help you decipher them. In the case of my mother, she had chemotherapy before surgery because it had spread very far. The chemotherapy did an amazing job of blasting the cancer. Then her surgeon did an amazing job of taking out the rest. I don't know what part if the country you are in, but you will want to have an oncologist if it is cancer...perhaps your doctor will make a referral for you. You'll get through the meeting I swear. Please let us know how it goes! we will all be thinking of you.

Alexandra's picture
Alexandra
Posts: 1086
Joined: Jul 2012

Lisa was replying to Carol

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