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Finding "normal"

alak's picture
alak
Posts: 3
Joined: Nov 2012

Ohhh normal where are you ??? anyone have a map i dont think its possible to find normal.oh we well normal is overrated and nonexistent anyways.It kind of makes me wonder why people say oh things will get back to normal in no time.Well i dont want to break it to you but theirs but their bis probably no such thing as normal when it comes to humans.Each of goes through times of trials,tribulations,stinky days,crazy insanity,and happy days,because of this their is no straight path or standard for normal to fit in. Sorry the normal tangent i just went on.For a lack of a better word we are all trying to find a new "NORMaL". Which may or may not be found at the bottom of the roller coaster of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross “Five Stages of Grief"That all will pass through at some point in life if we are lucky. Yes you heard me right if we were luckey enough to experience it.My thinking is that we were privileged enough to get a chance to experience life and these amazing individuals life's during the time we had with them.Through it hurts knowing that my mom will never see her kids get married or be able to hold and spoil her grand kids rotten,I am grateful to have been able to spend 17 years with her.On 12-12-12 it will have been 2 months sence my mom floated away into the sky.I really miss her a lot. Right now my dad and i are trying to figure out how to get on life.Good grief (literally) that as most of you know is no easy feat.Just got to take it one day at a time and just keep swimming just keep swimming.Gotta make our loved ones proud.In the back of my mind .i am always thinking don't let all that time mama spent changing ya stiny diapers be in vein.Our loved ones memories will live on.This time is hard but we all just have to get through this.I call cancer the evil beast it tears family's apart.It may have beaten us down and taken our loved ones far too soon,but i will not and can not break us.We must fight back with a vengeance.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry you are having to deal with the loss of your mother at such a young age. You are right, there really isn't such a thing as normal. Each of us lives a unique life which is ever changing. And life is really not fair. Grief is unique for each of us, too. Yours is still very new. Time has helped me. Little by little my grief has mellowed. The first few weeks found me just trying to put one foot in front of the other. The fog of grief, a term I found in a book on grief, was very much present. The month days, those that marked how many months had passed were really difficult. I was so down with one of those I wallowed. I stayed home for three days and ate nothing but jelly beans and vinegar potato chips. Not a good combination. Sometimes it is ok wallow, though. I'd say its normal, but we have already said that there isn't a normal. Let's just say that many of us experience this. Grieve in your own way and time. Feel free to PM me anytime. Also know that others here have an understanding of what you are experiencing. Sending hugs your way. Fay

here4lfe
Posts: 294
Joined: Jan 2010

Except I'm the father with a daughter. Normal to me is just coping with and learning from whatever is thrown my way. There are no words for this, just heartfelt human emotion, a hug, and a patient ear.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1302
Joined: Aug 2010

normal is non-existent, a fleeting figment of our imaginations, alak. Normal is always morphing and occasionally becomes something we long to hold onto, but just as we realize it's value it slips through our fingers and transforms into something else.

Your mother lives in you, alak. She would be proud of your desire to carry on.

You will not only survive the loss of your mom's physical presence, you will thrive.

Hugs.

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