Cancer in you and me

Your rage, anger, aggression toward me are always there in the back of my head. I wish I can burry them deep down under the earth and stay there forever!!! But I can't....they keep coming back
I wanted to forgive you, but I can't
I wanted to move on, but I can't

I can still feel the warm on my cheeks from your burly hand
made my heart pounding so hard
I can still feel the strong bully hands on my neck
made me chocked up in tears
I can still feel the strong hand pulled my hair hard
made my heart bleed
I can still feel the big body of yours pushed me against the wall
couch, sink, and dressers in many different fights we had
made my heart sink down to the floor
I can still feel the disgusting spits on my face
made me so angry
I can still hear all the hurtful words that cut to my deepest heart
I cried

I wish I can stand up for myself
but I am scare
I wish I can have self respect
I do, but I don't

I wanted to believe your CANCER made you to be this man
but no!!! You did before this
and getting worse....

I wish you would love me the right way, but
you can't
I wish I can love you the right way, but
I try

I will stay
because I care
I will stay because I love you
I will stay because you were once my prince charming
I will be here until the end!!