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First Thanksgiving Miserable

slg
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

I just had to endure one of the worst holidays without my husband of 40 years. I just wanted to stay home but agreed to go to a friends house as that is what my kids wanted to do. I didn't even get to sit with them so what was the point of my being there?
I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up until February 1st. Too many anniversaries of death in January to deal with and my husband's first...
This is hurting so much its unbearable....

jaycc
Posts: 130
Joined: Jul 2012

SlG,
Lost my husand of 25 years. This is the second round of holidays. Last holiday's were full of so much pain, and it will always be there, but hang in there. Like you its altogether just reversed. His death, then his birthday, then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. I found across the different women the following three things did help.
1. Go easy on yourself, take breaks, and then take a few more.
2. Find some kind of stress relief, walking, reading books, talking with a friend, writing, support group, anything that gives you some outlet, some relief.
3. Love is stronger, the love you two have will always to yours, no disease or person can talk it away.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

Jaycc's advice is sound. Even after 3 years since I lost my husband of 42 years, I find the holidays difficult. For me, it has gotten easier, but the holidays will never be the same. I feel his absence in everything I do. I miss the sharing. Time doesn't heal everything, but I think it does soften things. Hang in there. You aren't alone. Fay

slg
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

Thank you both for your advice. I do walk, exercise and attend two support groups and see a counselor one on one.. So I'm good there. I guess I just need to navigate through this first year the best I can and say NO if I don't want to do something.
Just want it all to be over..
Thanks again.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Fay,
I think we both lost our husbands around the same time. I think it's gotten easier some days, but this time of the year it seems like it's so much harder. I just don't enjoy doing things anymore. I had lost my mom in "89" right before Christmas & my dad in "90" right after Christmas. I was starting to enjoy it again although not the same, but then I lost Tom right after my birthday in 2010 (Mar.) So I can't wait for the holidays are over. And I too wish I could sleep from now till after New Years. When is it going to be normal again for us??? There are so many on here who have husbands that are so young who have this darn disease & it makes me want to cry. At least Tom was here to see our kids grow up and see our grandkids. Guess we have to hang in there right??
Thanks. Have you heard anything about SoccerFreaks?? I'm worried about him.
Take care!! "Carole"

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

He is doing fine, but is taking a break from the boards. I heard from him a week or so ago. He survived Sandy without serious problems. Fay

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